Tips for getting out of the dreaded "good friend" stage

[Zetre]

Ok, so i'm really starting to dig this friend of mine. I've been talking to her for like a year now, and I thought we were somewhere beyond friends, but apperently not, because she called me a "good friend" last night. Now, i'm not extremely expirienced in this area, but as far as i've seen, the "good friend" thing is like a death sentence for a relationship beyond, well, friends. Now, if any of you have any marvelous tips for getting outa this, or tips on good date ideas, i guess this would just be the thread to share your expertice.

[Doobz]

eh, ask her out

[Zetre]

i kind of did already, but that failed. It's weird with her, cause she hasn't really had a boyfriend before. She's really shy, and kind of weird, so she hasn't "dated" a guy before. I've said i liked her, but that didn't work either. I've done numerous things with her, but it's just weird. Hard trying to get a girl you don't see a lot, and have gotten to be pretty good friends with to "go out" with you.

[TekDragon]

no, No, NO, and NO

Girls are tricky little fuks. If she said you were a "good friend" then thats what she means. In my experience it means that your a good person that she feels comfortable being around and talking to.

Believe me, shes not looking to for more. Trust me man, ive lost 2 "good friends" by trying to push that shit. It aint worth it.

Youll know when a girl really wants it. They will make it so painfully obvious that any moron could see it. If they dont, then your stuck with a friend.

--------

Just out of curiosity why are you trying to go from "good friend" to something more? Is it the pussy? You can be honest w me.

[The President]

Alright man I deffinetly hear where your coming from. I consider myself to be pretty learned in the area of the female gender, and because of this I have come to a realization that many men before me have come to, they're fucked up. The dreaded "good friend" title is the ultimate cock-block, the death sentence for any relationship hopeful. As it goes chicks become to accustomed to a male figure always being there for them, the shoulder to cry on, etc. Girls gravitate towards the asshole, the one who treats them like shit and doesnt give them the time of day. These are the men who get the most ass. I dunno it could be the fact that girls feel this is something they cant have thus they go after it, one will never truly know. Once you learn to not give them that extra inch you will be in control. Oh yes my friend there were days when I was the "good friend", but those days have come to an end. I have unlimited respect for the female race, women are beautiful to me and I treat them super well when I'm with them. But you must learn to keep the asshole ethos always near, the smallest sense of noninterest attracts them, you have to be above it. Dont be a cock to them cuz then you are just that...a cock. But you must learn to acquire an equilibrium between the two states...The guy whose above it all, and the guy whos the all around nice guy and shoulder to cry. Once you have accomplished this, you are truly the master of your domain man. Good luck.

-The President:sniper:

[Zetre]

no, just a good relationship. Unfortunately, no pussy from her, she's a devout catholic. HAHA, no premarridal sex. I still don't understand why i, an extemely left winged anitchristian kid, can like her a, republican catholic. Ah, whatever, thanks for the advice dragon. I was thinking the same thing, just didn't want to admit it

[The President]

Alright fuck it dude, you can say "oh i can look beyond not getting any, bullshit man" eventually you will need it and you will either become desperate or resort to cheap prostitution.
Is she a crazy-Catholic, like super devout, like no rounding of bases ( not to sound childish but im trying to rationalize)?

-The President:sniper:

[Doobz]

haha, when i read that above i constantly have this steven seagal vision in my head, balding guy with a pony tail and a gold chain, sipping on a martini and winking to the 22 year old at the bar

[TekDragon]

Originally posted by The President The dreaded "good friend" title is the ultimate cock-block, the death sentence for any relationship hopeful. As it goes chicks become to accustomed to a male figure always being there for them, the shoulder to cry on, etc.


Yep :nod:

Originally posted by The President Girls gravitate towards the asshole, the one who treats them like shit and doesnt give them the time of day. These are the men who get the most ass.


*sigh* Yep. :rolleyes:

But you must learn to keep the asshole ethos always near, the smallest sense of noninterest attracts them, you have to be above it. Dont be a cock to them cuz then you are just that...a cock. But you must learn to acquire an equilibrium between the two states...The guy whose above it all, and the guy whos the all around nice guy and shoulder to cry. Once you have accomplished this, you are truly the master of your domain man. Good luck.

A-fuken-men. :cheers:

But dont try too hard to attain that equilebrium. Its good if your hitting the bar/club and want some ass. If your willing to wait until you find "Miss Right" then just chill, be yourself, and you WILL find her.

[Zetre]

I understand where you are comming from, but i can stick with the cheap prostitustion, and countless hours of porn. It's not her looks, her breasts, or her booty i like. I just find that being around her is amazingly fun. She's smart, funny, and just all around cool. Sure, i'm atracted to her, but that's not the main reason i like her.

[�io]

Originally posted by The President
Alright man I deffinetly hear where your coming from. I consider myself to be pretty learned in the area of the female gender, and because of this I have come to a realization that many men before me have come to, they're fucked up. The dreaded "good friend" title is the ultimate cock-block, the death sentence for any relationship hopeful. As it goes chicks become to accustomed to a male figure always being there for them, the shoulder to cry on, etc. Girls gravitate towards the asshole, the one who treats them like shit and doesnt give them the time of day. These are the men who get the most ass. I dunno it could be the fact that girls feel this is something they cant have thus they go after it, one will never truly know. Once you learn to not give them that extra inch you will be in control. Oh yes my friend there were days when I was the "good friend", but those days have come to an end. I have unlimited respect for the female race, women are beautiful to me and I treat them super well when I'm with them. But you must learn to keep the asshole ethos always near, the smallest sense of noninterest attracts them, you have to be above it. Dont be a cock to them cuz then you are just that...a cock. But you must learn to acquire an equilibrium between the two states...The guy whose above it all, and the guy whos the all around nice guy and shoulder to cry. Once you have accomplished this, you are truly the master of your domain man. Good luck.

-The President:sniper:

:rofl::lol::rofl:

Best...

...post...

...ever!

:D

[TekDragon]

Originally posted by Zetre
Ah, whatever, thanks for the advice dragon. I was thinking the same thing, just didn't want to admit it

Dood.. i got teared up just reading that. I know exactly the thoughts and emotions goin through your head.

Just trust me man.. having a "good friend" isnt a bad thing, not at all. Cultivate it, cherish it, dont lose it. Having a girl that trusts you, that you can open up to and she can do the same with you is a great fukin thing.

Loosing all that to something as petty and selfish as wanting "more" is a horrible thing that will haunt you for many months, if not years. I know from first hand experience.

As an added bonus, shes a safe "fall back" plan. If you ever gettin close to a deadline for a party and you dont got a date, you can always explain the situation to a "good friend" and she'll go with you :) Just keep your common sence in check on your 7th beer.

[EDIT]
I just find that being around her is amazingly fun. She's smart, funny, and just all around cool. Sure, i'm atracted to her, but that's not the main reason i like her.
You silly fuk, dont even THINK of losing something like that!

[WildEagle]

word

[The President]

Alright then more power to you buddy. I know girls can make you feel like shit some times but don't let it get you down man. I hope all this shit works out for you. You seem to be honestly attracted to her, so do what i do man, be honest..yeah sometimes the answer hurts but its the best way to go. Talk to her man. Good luck, and if you need anymore advice were here man.

-The President:sniper:

[WildEagle]

Originally posted by Zetre
Sure, i'm atracted to her, but that's not the main reason i like her.
So what's teh reason for the :love: for her"?

[The President]

Originally posted by �io
:rofl::lol::rofl:

Best...

...post...

...ever!

:D

Thank you Dio, I speak from experience.

-The President:sniper:

[Zetre]

hahaha, nice one wild eagle. I used to think that too. But then i really started to realize how cool some chicks could be, once you stopped staring at their boobies and started talking to them.

[The President]

Is she the kinda girl who is super easy to talk to and when your doing so your totally comfortable and feel like your just being yourself? If its like that then I'd take that over nothing man. I'd still try to tell her how your feeling, it would tear me up to never do so, but thats just me. Try it man, you could be happy with what she says back.

-The President:sniper:

[TekDragon]

Originally posted by Zetre
hahaha, nice one wild eagle. I used to think that too. But then i really started to realize how cool some chicks could be, once you stopped staring at their boobies and started talking to them.

I know, seriously! I got so out of the b00by stage in late middle school. From then on it was thighs, thighs, and more thighs :)

God bless the person who decided that mini skirts were the style.

[�io]

Originally posted by The President
Thank you Dio, I speak from experience.

-The President:sniper:

Yeah i know the feeling, i get stuck in the friend position way too often.

Currently friend with this young lady (http://bohica.planetside-universe.com/upload/Moi et Jess.jpg)(the one in the white shirt, other girl is her cousin who i'm also friends with but that's fine by me :p) and it sucks big time. She's one of the "2nd rate" type of girls that was discussed by none other than Zetre. :D She's cool, she's funny, she's just good looking enough to be hot but enough to be a bitch/snob, she's basically perfect :lol: ... it sucks. :tear:

[Doobz]

I completely and totally fell for this girl at school, we were pretty good together, friends and all.
i really fell for her hard, to the point of nonfunctionality, but took a long time to actually work the courage up to ask her out, thought she would think it would be too weird between us

anyways, i asked her out, she already had it for another guy :tear:

it sucked, big time

[The President]

Sounds all to familiar Dio, I dated this girl for like 8 months...She was soo fucking hot and everyone at my school wanted her, she was super nice when it was just the two of us, but she was too affected by it all. I ended up breaking it off, thousands of dollars and wasted days later. Thus marking the end of me falling into the "good friend" category again.

How do you forsee the situation with that girl ending up Dio?

-The President:sniper:

[WildEagle]

I was in teh good friend stage for a while, then asked her out dated for like 3 weeks then this new girl came and changed her personality. I was pissed when we broke.

[Unregistered]

Don't waste your time. Your on the "Friends Ladder". If your not framiliar with the ladder theroy here is a litte about it.

This is a great site, and more true then we'd like to admit. Drop on by and have a good laugh (or cry) at the Ladder Theory.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/images/womansladder.jpg

The first thing to notice here is that a woman has not one ,but two ladders. This is becasue in addition the normal ladder, a woman also has a friends ladder. The friends ladder is where a woman puts guys that she considers "just friends". More to the point where she puts guys who don't get to have sex with her.

The problem arises because a woman never lets a guy know which ladder he is on. Obviously there is a huge difference, or gap between these two ladders. It is in this gap that kisses of death are delivered and intellectual whores are made. All a man can do is "go for it" and make a move on a girl; ask her out, try to kiss her, write her a love note or whatever. If he's on the good ladder fine. If he is on the friends ladder this is a case of ladder jumping. The man is trying to jump the gap from the friends ladder to the real ladder. The girl has two choices at this point: she can let him on the ladder and all is well, or, more likely, she can kick him in the head, and off the ladder. If you look you'll see that below the ladder is the Abyss(what was it Nietzsche said about a man being on a rope stretched over an Abyss?....well it's worse than he thought; there is no rope.) So the man falls into the Abyss. The Abyss isn't really as bad as it sounds. Mostly it's a period of self-loathing, embarrassment, and of course utter awkwardness with the girl in question if they are talking at all.

[ho]

i usually get stuck in "dreaded friend" thing...becuase i'm too nice...but as The President said...the dicks that treat girls like crap always get them...and girls wonder why they can't stay in a relationship...all girls see me as a friend in my town now...i guess you have to be a dick to get girls in highschool?....*shrug*

[ho]

oh and if you do get past the friends stage and start dating...i have got dumped/taken advantage of so much from being too nice...dump me and go for jocks that all they want is pussy

[Doobz]

Us nice guys always finish last and it fucking sucks :tear:

[ho]

doobz when you getting back from cali to georgia?

[Doobz]

well, i'm still in GA right now, moving next week out to cali and i'm staying there

[WildEagle]

me live in GA what do u live in?:D

[Doobz]

wha...?

anyways, i live in savannah at the moment

[ho]

doobz i could be there in 3 hours im in florence sc

[Doobz]

yes, i believe you have threatened to come to my house before

YOU WILL NEVAH GET IN!

[r3d]

Well I could get to either of your houses, in a few days or something. Wisconsin is close, right?

[Doobz]

bah, well, no

[r3d]

You lucked out then

[ho]

doobz said he has mine field in his yard and if i come he will detinate...WAY TO TREAT AN OUTFIT MEMBER

[Doobz]

:D

[Pilgrim]

Time for the voice of age and experience to speak, gather around my children and let uncle Hunter teach you of zen and the art of women...

I, like many of you am a nice guy... it sucks, my saying has always been nice guys finish last, but at least we get to sleep in!

In my mid twenties, I suffered a dramatic realization... you CANNOT be friends with a woman unless one of three things is true...

1) you trully have no attraction to her
2) You are gay as Barney Frank on St. Patricks day.
3) you enjoy getting your nuts kicked in!

At this point I dumped all my female friends who I'd been a support to, and been nice to... and guess what! I stopped paying attention to them, and they started paying attention to me.

So my young padywans, if you find a woman who you love spending time with, who you think is perfect in every way, who makes you feel all tingly, like when climbing the rope in gym class... Then stop being her friend.

Remember, a woman can be a friend to a man, but a man cannot be a friend to a woman, he ends up wanting to boink, and it'll screw it up anyway.

So still be nice, I don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs, and barely swear, and yet I get more play simply because I don't smell, seem, or even kinda feel desperate, and I won't be their friend.

I'll be getting out of this game when I get married in a year, so i felt I should pass along my knowledge... and by the way, the woman I'm marrying... was my friend. It took 2 years of ignoring her to get her to realize that the nice guy was really what she wanted. We've been dating for almost 3 years now.

Don't wait for anyone, don't pay attention to someone unless you are getting something back. It sucks, but it's the way it works.

[ho]

tried it hunt...she just fell for another ass and acted as if i was there... :| ... i guess it works in some situation though