Rightwing
2003-10-09, 10:42 PM
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling
water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply
peeing in the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget
about the tooth ache.
8. Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are... You
need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use
WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
*Don't try #4, if you do, I'm not responsible for accidental death*
I try to have a little fun each day, its important.
:)
water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone
else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply
peeing in the sink.
4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while,
thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be
afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget
about the tooth ache.
8. Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are... You
need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use
WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.
*Don't try #4, if you do, I'm not responsible for accidental death*
I try to have a little fun each day, its important.
:)