AztecWarrior
2003-11-09, 11:30 PM
If you avoid all the hype, and most of the special effects, here's what I have to say about the first two Matrices. (Yes, the plural of 'matrix' is 'matrices'. I have yet to see the third.
First of all, the math teacher is sick to the back teeth of Matrix jokes. We're doing Matrices in Algebra II. Someone always cracks a joke about modifying the system or something.
For the retarded/not yet in Algebra 2, a matrix is a set of numbers, such as:
4 4 2
2 1 6
1 2 3
They have various functions.
But back to the movies.
The Matrix (first one)
First of all, for aimhacking programs, the agents have really, really sucky aim. Anyone that can hold an eight minute mile can dodge their Desert Eagles. This movie, along with Counter-Strike, made the Desert Eagle the fad pistol. A lot of special effects. The idea of a fake world is very captivating. The execution of this idea is mainly based in:
A: Gunfire. Bullets, everywhere.
B: Flying chunks of wall and glass due to bullet impact.
The movie is good. It's not on my Super Classics OMG These Movies Roxxor list, but the whole "Rescue Morpheus and risk it all, or pull the plug" idea works. As well as the betrayal.
The Squiddes in the final scene are slow as balls. I would have gotten in there, peeled open, and killed them all in half a second. Neo decided to play with his powers, taking his time, while Squiddies rip the ship apart. And he makes it in JUST the nick of time. This JUST IN TIME will come back with a vengeance in the next one...
3.5/5
The Matrix Reloaded (second one)
There is waay too much abstractness here. A huge portion of the dialog is in enigmas and prophecies. The average viewer gets lost. There is way too much "arriving JUST in the nick of time" stuff, like Niobe's arrival in the chase, Morpheus gripping the semi trailer JUST to avoid falling, Neo flying JUST right to save Trinity (and killing everyone in the cars behind him).
Hell, if Neo can fly, why don't they just synthesize a bomb in the starting area, fly it over to the source, and get it over with?
The 100 Smith scene was silly, far too silly. It was also too long. Seeing him trounce these Smiths without breaking a sweat, simply BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM, is BS. Then he jumps up when tackled and Smiths go flying.
And then he just flies away. Again. Why don't you FUCKING RAM THEM? Create a shock wave, drag them into a building!
I liked the idea of rogue programs. The Twins were cool, VERY cool. But they acted stupid. If I was stuck in a door, you go into Casper the Ghost mode and fly through it!
And that Keymaker can run. He was outrunning Morpheus and Trinity.
The chase scene was filled with far too many flying cars. All GM cars, too. It dragged on and on. Morpheus always seems to find a way back onto the trailer after being knocked off. And when he is knocked off for good, Niobe is there. Jeez.
Fighting scenes seemed to drag on for a while longer than they were supposed to.
And damn, those Squiddies are slow. Again. Why not kill all three ships at once?
And what. the. fuck. I didn't know Neo could summon EMP fields to stop Squiddies.
2.5/5. 3 if you liked the Twins.
First of all, the math teacher is sick to the back teeth of Matrix jokes. We're doing Matrices in Algebra II. Someone always cracks a joke about modifying the system or something.
For the retarded/not yet in Algebra 2, a matrix is a set of numbers, such as:
4 4 2
2 1 6
1 2 3
They have various functions.
But back to the movies.
The Matrix (first one)
First of all, for aimhacking programs, the agents have really, really sucky aim. Anyone that can hold an eight minute mile can dodge their Desert Eagles. This movie, along with Counter-Strike, made the Desert Eagle the fad pistol. A lot of special effects. The idea of a fake world is very captivating. The execution of this idea is mainly based in:
A: Gunfire. Bullets, everywhere.
B: Flying chunks of wall and glass due to bullet impact.
The movie is good. It's not on my Super Classics OMG These Movies Roxxor list, but the whole "Rescue Morpheus and risk it all, or pull the plug" idea works. As well as the betrayal.
The Squiddes in the final scene are slow as balls. I would have gotten in there, peeled open, and killed them all in half a second. Neo decided to play with his powers, taking his time, while Squiddies rip the ship apart. And he makes it in JUST the nick of time. This JUST IN TIME will come back with a vengeance in the next one...
3.5/5
The Matrix Reloaded (second one)
There is waay too much abstractness here. A huge portion of the dialog is in enigmas and prophecies. The average viewer gets lost. There is way too much "arriving JUST in the nick of time" stuff, like Niobe's arrival in the chase, Morpheus gripping the semi trailer JUST to avoid falling, Neo flying JUST right to save Trinity (and killing everyone in the cars behind him).
Hell, if Neo can fly, why don't they just synthesize a bomb in the starting area, fly it over to the source, and get it over with?
The 100 Smith scene was silly, far too silly. It was also too long. Seeing him trounce these Smiths without breaking a sweat, simply BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THEM, is BS. Then he jumps up when tackled and Smiths go flying.
And then he just flies away. Again. Why don't you FUCKING RAM THEM? Create a shock wave, drag them into a building!
I liked the idea of rogue programs. The Twins were cool, VERY cool. But they acted stupid. If I was stuck in a door, you go into Casper the Ghost mode and fly through it!
And that Keymaker can run. He was outrunning Morpheus and Trinity.
The chase scene was filled with far too many flying cars. All GM cars, too. It dragged on and on. Morpheus always seems to find a way back onto the trailer after being knocked off. And when he is knocked off for good, Niobe is there. Jeez.
Fighting scenes seemed to drag on for a while longer than they were supposed to.
And damn, those Squiddies are slow. Again. Why not kill all three ships at once?
And what. the. fuck. I didn't know Neo could summon EMP fields to stop Squiddies.
2.5/5. 3 if you liked the Twins.