What computer games have taught me about war

[AztecWarrior]

1: EVERY fighting unit since WW2, has consisted of at least one sniper to two others. (All, mainly DoD)
2: Tank armor will stop a fifty-cal, but it can be easily destroyed by grenades. (BF1942)
3: When out of grenades, take one for the team and Jeep-ram it. (BF1942)
4: If the enemy's weapon kicks ass, your country will ask to nerf theirs and vice versa. (PS)
5: Sniping really is easier than it looks. (All)
6: Pilots can conjure "Bullet Time" because they are 1337. (Secret Weapons over Normandy)
7: Fighters can carry more than their weight in bombs. (BF1942).
8: Terrorist units around the world are armed with "stun bullets". They shock people and prevent them from moving when hit until dead. (CS)
9: Parachutes only need to be deployed inches from the ground to work. (BF1942)
10: When a scope is added on to a rifle, it does more damage than the non-scoped same rifle. (CoD)
11: During the siege of Berlin, despite being cut off from all factories, German soldiers still had ample ammunition. (BF1942)
12: Most Russian bombers can outturn the German Me262, and those that can't can catch up to it in a dive. (IL-2 Sturmovik)
13: The best way to kill all the enemy infantry is to spam grenades. (All)
14: At random times on the battlefield, you will leave Earth for no reason. (PS)
15: You are still mobile after being shot in the legs with a machine gun. (All FPSes)
16: Modern Kevlar helmets (AA, CS) are worse at protecting than WW2 steel helmets (BF1942).
17: Russian tanks are fucking invincible. (IL-2)
18: In the future, reloading will not be necessary, as nanites can be beamed directly from your clip, wherever it is, to your gun/flamethrower/scattergun. (DEx2)
19: Electronic gun safety mechanisms in bars can and will deactivate knives, too. (DEx2)
20: When greivously wounded, painkillers stop the pain and automatically heal, despite previous wounds. (MP)
21: Medics heal people by getting up to them, looking at them, and imagining "USE!" in their mind. A bandage will automatically appear on the patient. (AA)
22: However, nothing, NOTHING heals better than a good, hot meal. (RtCW)
23: The Nazis were very evil. They had jetpacks (BF1942), guided SAMs (BF1942), and advanced biomechanical technology (RtCW) enabling them to make super-soldiers.
24: The Riot Shield in Time Crisis 2 fucking owns. It takes up 20mm hits, no problem.
25: Additionally, your 9mm SMG can take down that Comanche helicopter shooting at you. (TC2)

DoD: Day of Defeat, Half-Life mod
BF1942: Battlefield: 1942
PS: PlanetSide
Secret Weapons over Normandy: Worst fucking flight sim of all time.
CS: Counter-Strike, Half-Life mod
CoD: Call of Duty
IL-2 Sturmovik: Best flight sim of all time
AA: America's Army
DEx2: Deus Ex: Invisible War
MP: Max Payne series
RtCW: Return to Castle Wolfenstein
TC2: Time Crisis 2. Awesome arcade game, despite your dilithium-titanium-depleted uranium-kevlar polymerate shield. It's got a foot pedal to duck behind your shield. Go to your local Dave and Buster's/Gameworks/arcade to play it. NOW!

[ZeusCali]

...hmmm to many video games? go study some history , boyaaaaa, oh ya and you can't even hit someone across the room at all with a shotgun, not even a little, no matter where you aim (sof2)

[ObnoxiousFrog]

No matter how far down the mountain you go, that fucking yeti will ALWAYS eat you. (SkiFree)

[Fragmatic]

http://www.student.smsu.edu/s/san232s/hardfunnypics/bf1942moreimportantplaces.jpg

[Derfud]

No matter how far down the mountain you go, that fucking yeti will ALWAYS eat you. (SkiFree)

Hahah, I played that... fuckin yeti...

Play free ski now!!

http://www.geocities.com/earthfiles/SKI.zip

only 30kb DL

[Rayder]

You forgot that you can run over people in tanks and have their soft, squishy, blood-filled bodies and get damaged.

[Dharkbayne]

That fucking yeti...

[mechaman]

damn it, I spent like 2 mins going down the mountain. the Yeti got me....

[I Hate Pants]

What playing computer games has taught me:

Everyone tries and takes the easy way. The faster I can kill my enemy the more l33t I am. Nobody ever plays wanting a challenge. In other words people run around with 2 HA weapons and a reaver to pilot hoping to rack up the most kills. I on the other hand only use MA weapons and drive ground transports and assualt buggies.


EVERYBODY THINKS THEY ARE A L33T SNIPER!!!!!! :mad: (every game with a sniper class) WRONG! YOUR NOT! Nor am I. This is also another classic exapmle of "taking the easy way out". They all scramble for snipers thinking " I can shoot you. But you can't shoot me. Yeah im so l33t"!!!!


Everybody thinks they can fly a plane.When really they sux. (BF1942)

[321]

4: If the enemy's weapon kicks ass, your country will ask to nerf theirs and vice versa. (PS)

:lol:

[BUGGER]

what games taught me: saying god will make you unstopable.

[Happy lil Elf]

WRONG! YOUR NOT! Nor am I. This is also another classic exapmle of "taking the easy way out". They all scramble for snipers thinking " I can shoot you. But you can't shoot me. Yeah im so l33t"!!!!


Incorrect. There are in fact |337 snipers. I am not one and admittidly you are not one.

Mortishn on the other hand :scared:

P.S. Great list Aztec :rofl:

[1024]

26: If you're running in a group of 20 people, you will be the one who randomly headshoted. (All)

[SkunkPunk]

?) The objective may be to rescue some hostages or plant a bomb, but in the end all that really matters is that your score is higher than everyone elses(Counter-Strike)

?+1) ANY sort of vehicle cant go over a 10 degree slope (PS)

?+2) when being shot at by a turret, its normal for it to be rapidly spinning around shooting into the air

?+3) glue fixes anything(reffering to glue gun) (PS)

?+4) soldiers communicate by typing on the battlefield, if not you have to pay to use voice communication (all)

?+5) when rescueing hostages, you must paint a green box some where hard to get to, then bring them there, once the hostages are there they will be safely teleported home just before dinner (cs)

?+6) when you get shot 20 times in the face, you will calmy sit down and wait until the 'round' is over (americas army)

+7) in the future we wont have teachers or schools, we will have cert terminals where we will learn and forget anything you need

+8) during a battle, if you are losing a fight, at the press of a button you will be able to see through walls and aim directly at people heads automatically (any game especially ones with *******)

[FlakMan]

?+6) when you get shot 20 times in the face, you will calmy sit down and wait until the 'round' is over (americas army)
It's the MILES system, there are no bullet to get shot in the face with, only lazy beams :groovy:

[Liquidtide]

EVERYBODY THINKS THEY ARE A L33T SNIPER!!!!!! :mad: (every game with a sniper class) WRONG! YOUR NOT! Nor am I. This is also another classic exapmle of "taking the easy way out". They all scramble for snipers thinking " I can shoot you. But you can't shoot me. Yeah im so l33t"!!!!

But when you can kill that guy running away at 250m, then you are l33t.

~Tide <--- is l33t sniper

[Everay]

what about a cloaker at 300 meters? eh, im leet

[l3lizz4rd]

27. In Counter-terrorist operations entire CT teams are often taken out by a single grenade... that one of the team members mistakenly threw against the wall he was trying to lean around. (RvS)

[AztecWarrior]

That's the problem. Online, anyone can snipe. AA helps this by making you pass that hellish course, but still. In the field, I don't think anyone here could snipe.

[Happy lil Elf]

In real life or in games? If you mean in games I guarentee you there are people who are very good at sniping. If you mean in real life, no shit sherlock :lol:

Technically though while there probably aren't any trained snipers here, by definition sniping is simply hitting a specified target at long range. There are probably a few hunters or gun enthusiests here who could in fact snipe a target from a fair distance with a little practice /shrug

[Spider]

:lol: In AA I snipe with an M16 on bridge! So nuh!

[Dharkbayne]

But, you would have to take into consideration wind, weather conditions, distance, how fast target is moving, ect. In real life, the snipers are trained to NEVER miss, because in some conditions, i.e. hostage situation, if you miss, you're fucked, so it's probably WAY harder than it looks, way way waaaaay harder.

[Rbstr]

Damed yeti, somehow my sister got past him though and she skied forever!

I don't know i would call myslef a 133t sniper but in PS and others (not AA becasue i can get a 36 on the marksmanship course for some reason, somtimes the bulets don't even hit those targets right next to you in zoom mode) but i am preaty good at it i've hit cloackers at the maximun range(luck but i still did) and tend to get far more kills than any other snipers in ther area, and i can out aim anyone in my outfit.

[Derfud]

-SCUD missiles are not launched just out of the atmosphere, to travel back to land to hit thier target, they are simply lobbed at a low angle out of the launching vehicle. (Desert Combat)

-AC-130 Spectre Gunships can be easily intercepted by a well timed SCUD missile. (Desert Combat) (And yes I have shot down an AC-130 with a SCUD ;P, and an apache too actually)

[Corrosion]

:lol: @ thread

[Dharkbayne]

In the future, humans can withstand 2 direct hits from a rocket launcher into the chest (Pretty much every game ever made)

[Chaaos]

How about...

You are storming Bagdad. Sprinting through an ally because you thought you saw an enemy just run down there. You come around a corner and catch him off-guard and lay him to waste with your M16. Sigh a deep breath and run back to your squad. Only to hear the guy's cryptic voice in your ears telling you.. "D00d u suk, u fakin cheetr! I will pwn joo!"

[Squeeky]

rofl, nice list Aztec and folks.

[AztecWarrior]

Fine. You can snipe.

But can you stalk? Your advanced weapon system is a waste of cash if you are seen and killed.

EDIT: Real life, of course.

[Fenrys]

In real life, the snipers are trained to NEVER miss . . .




They are expected to miss the long shots, and that is why they have a spotter with them looking at the target with uber-binoculars. The first shot will tell them how much the sight needs to be adjusted for wind.

[321]

I have one to add

When you die you respawn.