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ultraviolet
2004-01-08, 02:41 AM
Someone pretends to know you well and doesn't read the conversation closely. Read the hilarity ensuing Squeeky's first visit with me and the lovely insights added by my coworkers. This is the most hilarious aim log I have. :D

Me: hiya tommy!
Me: dave says hi
Him: hi
Him: how was the first night?
Me: went really well
Him: what you guys do?
Me: well, it started with some shots of raspberry vodka
Him: lol
Me: and... i think i made a mistake last nite
Me: it's kind of embarrassing
Him: lol whatr did you do?
Me: i don't know if i can face anyone after this..
Me: it just started with cuddling
Him: lolol
Me: it is NOT funny
Him: k
Him: then what?
Me: i did something very very bad
Him: oooooooooook
Me: but i can tell you something
Me: sex on the beach is amazing
Him: hah
Him: i knewwwwwwww it would happennnnn
Me: and 15 year olds have AMAZING endurance!
Him: sooooo you dont regret it?
Me: we just kinda woke up this morning
Me: and came home
Me: i don't know how it happened, and i can't believe
that happened
Him: scary, no?
Me: it was a surprise to me but i can't say it was bad
Him: lol..
Me: i wanted to make some brownies this morning, to make
us feel better... but i just couldn't do it
Him: i find it entertaining cause like, you said it would
NEVER EVER EVER HAPPEN
Him: then the first night
Him: bam
Me: it's kind of awkward now, you know, after the bust
inside
Me: and at the end... he was like "own3d!" ....but then
again he was pretty drunk
Him: brb
Me: k
Me: you know what? nevermind
Auto response from Him: I have obviously forgotten my computer
is on, bbl :|
Him: k back
Me: yay
Him: haha he said owned?
Me: yes
Me: and then this morning...we tried to laugh about it
but it didn't work
Him: how didnt it work?
Me: because it was kinda awkward
Me: so we went back to my room
Me: and then it just became round 2
Him: this morning?
Me: yes
Him: mmmkay
Him: so .. rofl
Me: ahhhh it's not funny =(
Me: i took this kid's virginity!
Me: :O
Him: KID
Him: damn chelle
Me: but last nite
Me: afterwards
Me: we went over to ihop
Him: i thought you would like not fuck him
Me: and... i could see it in the fat waitress' eyes
Me: she knew what was up
Me: (him)
Me: especially after he started going crazy with the
strawberries and maple syrup
Him: hes almost 25% younger than you are ;p
Me: i was thinking of you the whole time
Him: and you did him, twice! thats breaking the rule of 7!
19/2 + 7 = 16+
Me: ;-)
Him: liessss, dont gimmie dat shit
Me: and then.. we had waffles and lots of whipped cream
fun
Him: wow
Him: so
Him: after like he got there you had no problem with sleeping
with him?
Me: welll... you know me, pancakes are one of my hot
buttons
Me: man, just thinking about those pancakes... i hope no
one sees me blushing over here!
Me: you know, the stapler's just the right size
Him: wtfff
Him: what about the stapler?
Me: i'm wearing a skirt
Me: and i'm behind the desk
Me: and... just thinking about the pancakes and last nite
Me: it's just getting me so excited
Him: jesus
Me: well you know i'm a nympho, sheesh
Him: well
Him: thought you could hold it better than that heh
Me: last nite was very liberating
Me: just wait 'til YOU get up here!
Me: ;)
Him: :o
Me: there's something about all those syrup choices at
ihop
Him: lol
Me: we had to run to the back of the kitchen and went
after the waffle cooking person
Me: (with whipped cream and strawberries)
Him: lol why?
Me: we were drunk... and horny
Him: how many shots you guys do?
Me: and he took some very racy pics
Me: oh i lost count
Him: lol
Me: but screwing and waffles help with the hangover
Me: damn, the stapler didn't work
Me: i hope nobody needs a pen....
Him: heh
Me: yum
Him: lol
Him: k ima go
Him: hf i guess heh
Him: later ;p
He signed off at 4:49:44 PM.

Dharkbayne
2004-01-08, 02:45 AM
:rofl:

Ogge
2004-01-08, 02:56 AM
:huh:

Fragmatic
2004-01-08, 03:33 AM
pwned

Jaged
2004-01-08, 04:24 AM
:huh:

I am sorry, but I just don't find that funny.

Sputty
2004-01-08, 04:41 AM
Squeeky? Endurance? :rofl::rofl:
He's weaker than jello

Liquidtide
2004-01-08, 09:05 AM
The rule of 7's! I always abided by that but never knew what to call it!!! :much relief:

Squeeky
2004-01-08, 10:01 AM
O.F.N. this happened in september :p

But ya, we were rolling on the fucking floor laughing at tthat one.

Corrosion
2004-01-08, 11:59 AM
:rofl:

Firefly
2004-01-08, 12:01 PM
What the fuck is this?

OneManArmy
2004-01-08, 12:01 PM
i started reading but honestly I saw something shiny and got distracted. sorry.

Dharkbayne
2004-01-08, 12:17 PM
Me: and at the end... he was like "own3d!" ....but then
again he was pretty drunk




:rofl:

Squick
2004-01-08, 02:04 PM
Staplers ehh? ;)

Neon Apocalypse
2004-01-08, 02:53 PM
damn, so squeeky really is 15

Squeeky
2004-01-08, 02:54 PM
damn, so squeeky really is 15

No fucking shit.

ultraviolet
2004-01-08, 02:59 PM
What the fuck is this?

It's an aim log of me at work (with the added suggestions of my coworkers) discussing how the first nite of Squeeky's visit went. We had him convinced that I sexed Squeeky very well and couldn't keep my hands off the office supplies. :p

Neon Apocalypse
2004-01-08, 03:15 PM
wait a second wouldnt that mean that uv is a slut, meaning she'd do almost anyone?

ultraviolet
2004-01-08, 03:17 PM
It would mean that, I guess... if it were true. I am sexually and emotionally satisfied in my monogamous relationship so don't get any hopes up.


*bounce bounce bounce bounce*

Khronos
2004-01-08, 03:25 PM
:rofl:

and, oh snap.

Neon Apocalypse
2004-01-08, 03:27 PM
i said "almost"

its alright uv, your still cool :)

Squeeky
2004-01-08, 03:27 PM
I am sexually and emotionally satisfied in my monogamous relationship so don't get any hopes up.

Who ever said i couldn't satisfy a woman.

Seer
2004-01-08, 03:38 PM
Miracles happen every day.

Paingiver
2004-01-08, 03:43 PM
that whole thing with the pancakes just weirds me out :scared:

FlakMan
2004-01-08, 03:44 PM
Inside jokes are lame when you show them to other people :ugh:

GonePostal
2004-01-08, 03:53 PM
Inside jokes are lame when you show them to other people :ugh:


aye

Corrosion
2004-01-08, 03:54 PM
This thread scares me.

Onizuka
2004-01-08, 04:20 PM
:rofl:

SkunkPunk
2004-01-08, 04:27 PM
i started reading but honestly I saw something shiny and got distracted. sorry.

EarlyDawn
2004-01-08, 04:59 PM
What the fuck is this?I agree. :rolleyes:

Aen
2004-01-08, 05:17 PM
Inside jokes are lame when you show them to other people :ugh:
Seconded.

Squick
2004-01-08, 05:36 PM
Inside jokes are lame when you show them to other people :ugh:

Back on your head!

Inside joke, I will explain in 15 min ;)

Ok... So a guy dies and goes to hell, after a light whipping he is guided by satan to the first of three rooms, satan tells him he will have to choose which one to spend all of eternity in.

In the first room there is a bunch of people standing on their heads with feces up to their necks. The guy exclaims that he certainly does not want to go in that one!

In the next room there is a bunch of people standing on their heads with feces up to their waists. The guy says that is even worse.

So then satan shows him the final room, there is a bunch of people standing on their feet drinking tea and smoking cigarettes, with feces up to their necks. He says that is pretty awfull, but at least they are not on their heads; so he picks that room. After a few minutes in that room the guard cracks his whip and yells, "Ok everyone, break's over, back on your heads!"

Llama joke rating: 8.7 :)