random thoughts

[martyr]

rule: post must not relate in any way to any other post in this thread

to begin:

ice removes blood from clothing

[Triggar]

Oh god, lynch me.

[Everay]

:spam: :spam: :spam:


look kids, spam!

EDIT, im not sure if this post is with the thread, or breaks its rule

[Dharkbayne]

I wish I had some milk right now.

[AztecWarrior]

I wish I could rip off more quotes from martyr's gallery.

[Smaug]

I Are Eating Pizzaaaaaaaaa

[AztecWarrior]

aztec stop editing you poon

[Smaug]

while doing pilates

[Dharkbayne]

I wonder what level jesus is...

[Triggar]

A non-crooked Messiah.

[SDM]

My johnson is 13 inches long

[Triggar]

So's mine.

I keep it in a shed out back.

[martyr]

xanthan gum + squirrel = racoon

[Happy lil Elf]

If the muslim God, Allah, was a porn star, what would his screen name be?

[eXoSloth]

My knee tastes like rootbeer...

[EineBeBoP]

Best pick-up line EVER....

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?

[VivaLaNuBc4k3]

Who came up with the word...... CHEESE?

Has anyone ever thought of a word so much they begin to wonder how it got made and by who and what does it actually mean?

[MilitantB0B]

Ever wonder who first thought it would be a good idea to drink the stuff that comes out of the underside of cows?
I mean, nothing else good comes out of there...

[OneManArmy]

"BALLS!!" said the queen. " If I had two I'd be king." and the jeseter laughed, not because he had too but because he had two.

[SDM]

What wonderful birdies the frog are. Thems ain't gots no tails almost, hardly. Whens thems walks, thems hops. When thems don't walks, them sits on thier tails they don't hardly ain't got.:doh:

[BUGGER]

The Fuck should be called a football team!

[Squeeky]

Aneurisms are g00d

[Everay]

i like to sleep

[Dharkbayne]

When trying to light a fish on fire, always remember the futon. It is important to know your feet.
Feet are like ripe papayas, injected with mouthwash. They may taste like excitement, but are best used for bingo.
Focus on your inner gall bladder if you wish to harness the the power of the rotten monkeys.
There is only one path to the rubber band.
Know it like you know your finger. Of course,don't forget that fun equals pizza explosions!
Extra cheese and elk on your side order of lightbulb! The dwarf says "Gender-neutral pronouns!"

[Happy lil Elf]

Sometimes, late in the day sitting in my cubicle waiting for the next call to come in, I see Mickey Mouse bobble head dolls going down on Buddy Christ statues.

That's usually about the time I realize that it's actually 1:10am, I'm sitting in front of my computer at my house, trolling the PSU forums waiting for Planetside to patch after reinstalling on my new computer and I haven't slept since I got said computer 3 days ago.

[SDM]

Work fucking sucks. They have me busier than a one armed wallpaper hanger with crabs. Apperently there is alot of ass licking involved in getting Q1 status from Ford. Fuck Ford. Chrysler gave us the gold pentastar without ass licking. GM named us a preffered supplier without ass licking. Ford has the weakest quality guidelines of the big three, but love getting thier asses licked. Fuck Ford.

[martyr]

buddy the elf, what's your favorite color?

[l3lizz4rd]

If I had 60 cents for every dollar I had, I'd be Canada.

[Neon Apocalypse]

Goverment Camp dont go changing

[ViperGTS]

Fuck school. Damn........If the was ever a time to blow some thing up it would be now.........

[UncleDynamite]

See here,
a rifle,
a bullet,
and a squirrel falleth from the branches.

[Strygun]

Kermit the frog says, WHOOOPPEEEEEE!!!

[Majik]

If you believe that God created the universe, then you believe that all things need to be created to exist. So, who created God?

[Strygun]

If you believe that God created the universe, then you believe that all things need to be created to exist. So, who created God?

God always was and is and will be.

[Rayder]

Off topic: It was going so good until Stry came along....

On topic: Cut off his balls, cover them with chocolate, and serve them to his cat.

[Everay]

todays comic was funny, on another note, this park doesnt have enough bathrooms.

[Neon Apocalypse]

something smells good

[Mr1337Duck]

I should convert to Islam, this whole shitload of women thing sounds nice. And in heaven we shed our old bodies, so nobody has any imperfections, so all of these women are really fucking hot.

[EineBeBoP]

http://www.ewombat.net/Newsboard/wau.gif

[AztecWarrior]

This does not apply in the dominion of Realpolitik.

[Bighoss]

is time continous and smooth or is it randomely stopping for hours, days, years at a time and then continuing with out us knowing that maybe a trillion years could have just been passed without the movement of time but I can't describe what a world with out time would be like so I have no way to decribe how time would pass with out making a measurment in time! I hate this...

[EineBeBoP]

***31169;***12399;***12474;***12508;***12531;***12434;***36523;***12395;***30528;***12369;***12390;***12356;***12394;***12356;***12290;

[Dharkbayne]

I like to dance.

[Lonehunter]

Who just grabbed my ass?

[xmodum]

Mmmmmmm.......

[Lonehunter]

I am seriously scared...wow.

[Ivan]

cum makes excellent glue for craft projects

[Rayder]

01000101011001000010000001101001011100110010000001 10000100100000011001110110100101110010011011000010 11100010000000100000010000110110111101110010011100 10011011110111001101101001011011110110111000100000 01101001011100110010000001100001001000000110010001 11010101101101011000100110000101110011011100110010 11100010000000100000010011010111100100100000011011 10011000010110110101100101001000000110100101110011 00100000001010100010101000101010001010100010000000 10101000101010001010100010101000101010001010100010 10100010101000100000001010100010101000101010001010 10001010100010111000100000001000000100100100100000 01101000011000010111011001100101001000000110000100 10000001100011011000010111010000100000011011100110 00010110110101100101011001000010000001010011011101
0101110011011010000110100100101110

[AztecWarrior]

I'm a geek. When bored during math class, I type shit like "YOU WILL DIE IN SE7EN DAYS" into my TI-83.

[OneManArmy]

If it wern't for my horse I'd never had made it through that first year of college

[FlakMan]

hot carls and cleaveland steamers

[Ivan]

I was in the park today, ripping out nose-hairs. Oh, how those drunk homeless guys hate it when I do that to them!!

[Dharkbayne]

I was in the park today, ripping out nose-hairs. Oh, how those drunk homeless guys hate it when I do that to them!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Neon Apocalypse]

safety

[Ivan]

dance

[BUGGER]

I fucked your mom......



.....SIKE!

[Ivan]

Ever notice how the opposite of something negative is negative? Like Pick-Pocketing is wrong. But so is putting things in other people�s pockets. Like maybe pudding.

[Jabberwocky]

Superman wouldn't be so "super" if he was made out of cheese, now would he?
That lucky non-cheese based bastard. NERF!

[Jennyboo]

:spam: :mad: :spam:

[Ivan]

Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

[OneManArmy]

why is the minute waltz longer than a minute?

[Jabberwocky]

I wonder if clowns taste funny.

[BUGGER]

ewwww

[Cyanide]

One day a bird shat on my head. So as I wiped the shit out of my hair and covered my face with it, I thought; what If I went back in time and warned myself not to stand under the sign that said "Warning: out door exlax testing facility". Then I realized that if I went back in time to stop the shatting, I would have had no reason to go back in time. So I would not have stopped the shatting. So I would have gone back, because I would have gotten shat on because I never stopped the shatting. So I would have stopped that shatting, which means I never would have went back in time to stop the shatting. My brain hurts now.

If kodak cameras are called kodak because that's the sound a camera makes, then why isn't my ass called a ppppfffffffffffffffff.

The ending of the matrix would have been so much better if keanue woke up in bed and said, "whoa".

The box says my pop-tarts should only take 3 seconds in the microwave. But DAMNIT, they take THIRTY freakin seconds! I want my Pop-tart in 3 seconds or LESS. Nobody ever thinks of the people with A.D.D :(

/me breaks into song.

allll byyy myseeEEeeellf....don't wanna bEA...Alllll BY my SEEeellfff...aaanymOOre...

[Jabberwocky]

A.D.D joke:


Knock-knock.
Who's there?

Wanna go ride bikes?

[Strygun]

sometimes ya feel like a nut, sometimes ya don't.

[martyr]

fried cod over bananas with ranch dressing

[EineBeBoP]

As I crawled over the top of the large hill to the east of the enemy encampment, I reached into my belt pocket, and grabbed the remote trigger. Using the binoclular wraped around my neck, I checked for friendlies in the areas of the mines, and when i thought it was clear, I hit the button.

The ground covering the mines exploded upwards, as the Nylon fabric was pushed into the air by 50K Compressed air canisteres beneath them. The fabric grew larger, and larger with no stop in sight.

After 5 minutes, a fully inflated Nylon penis floated 15 stories tall above the enemy camp, with a few hundred confused soldiers milling around beneath it looking at it with the most confused looks i'd ever seen.

That was when I hit the Other button, detonating the 30 5lb. C4 bricks within the giant baloon, sending the billions of small metalic balls encompasing them flying everywhere, including into the soldiers.

This had been the most fun operation I'd ever been on!

^^^ was written in 7 min. off the top of my head. :doh:

[Cyanide]

If a women ever asks me if something makes her butt look big. I will say "no dear, nothing could make your butt look bigger than it already is".

Fuck valentines day.

I'm not bitter because i'm single. Quite the opposite actually.

Lots of people have photographic memories. Most of them just don't have any film.

[BUGGER]

What would happen if someones head was really an asshole?

[Ivan]

What would happen if someones head was really an asshole?I'd be humping a lot of heads...

[BUGGER]

:lol:


wait......even a man's head? ........WAIT!!! Which head do you mean?


GAH, i'm gona have bad dreams tonight.

[worldvengence]

my ass hurts

[edit] and my knees too

[AztecWarrior]

Mister Anderson. You seem to be leading two lives...

[MidnightDave]

My dog is demonic.



that depends on what the definition of is, is

how do you even ask that quetsion if the definition of is, is in question

there I go, is again, how is it I never get through a sentence with out saying is

[Setari]

What if our history was scripted and so is the future. For once we meet our inescapable end, another world starts over at the beginning. But their beginning is our end. Their Dark Age our Computer Age? What if everything you ever dreamed happened in a parallel world where their dreams are all boring and mimic our lives?

My brain hurts now.

On a side note, after having diahrrea of the brain the things in the above paragraph are actually interesting IMO.

[VivaLaNuBc4k3]

What wonderful birdies the frog are. Thems ain't gots no tails almost, hardly. Whens thems walks, thems hops. When thems don't walks, them sits on thier tails they don't hardly ain't got.:doh:

I think I got dumber after reading that.

[Dharkbayne]

I like doritos.

[Ait'al]

Penis debockle. Someone make it end!

(sorry if were not actually supposed to post something randomly.)

[lightfire]

shall i take the red pill for my ass bleeding or the Blue pill for my nose coughing eyesores or shall i just kill my self with the lightsocket here... hmm

[BUGGER]

Hmm, if i cut down on tv, i can save 10% on my energy bill.



nah.

[MidnightDave]

If I stare long enough at my computer screen, will I become a part of my comptuer, will my consioucness actually go into the computer, if so, would I still be able to get porn?

[Rayder]

... Forty score and 1 4/345 years ago, I bought a 1942 Model Q Juniper Pencilation System. If in 10 years, I were to grab a monkey off of the Empire State building and chuck it off the edge, would it make a noise as it hit the ground, liquifying and spewing blood and liquified hair and monkey skin all over the walking pedestrians and cars? Or would it just go splat.

[SDM]

If it wern't for my horse I'd never had made it through that first year of collegeLOL. I know where you got that :) Have a pancake.

[Sputty]

kittens are fuzzy

Another one, I'm being tempted by WWII miniatures...must resist....MUST!!!

[Strygun]

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he?

[GreyFox]

What are those blue things under my bed?

SMURFS!!!

[Jabberwocky]

Why do pandas have black and white fur? Is that some kind of camoflauge or something? Nothing else is black and white in their environment. Maybe they should all go and live in Oreo factories.

[Sputty]

Why do pandas have black and white fur? Is that some kind of camoflauge or something? Nothing else is black and white in their environment. Maybe they should all go and live in Oreo factories.
I think it's warning colours. Also, they do live i some snowy and rocky areas

[MidnightDave]

I R L33T! I PWN U!


(no I dont know where my meds are)

[Cyanide]

Why do pandas have black and white fur?

Cause evolution fucked that shit up. :D

[MidnightDave]

:trrocks: :trrocks: :trrocks: :ncrocks: :vssucks: :vssucks:

And that about sums up my feelings about PS factions.


:spam: :spam:

[TheRegurgitator]

Blablabla your needs

[Febnon]

i think my cat is throwing up...better check

[xmodum]

Community night tonight...... sweet.

[Triggar]

this spoon is too big for my mouth

[lightfire]

i think i got teh flu....... *cough* *cough cough cough* *sneeze* *eyes watering*


*DIERRRRIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* :(

[MidnightDave]

mmmmmmmmm Ice cream

[Triggar]

Orville and Wilbur ... they look like the guys in the Guinness commercials.

[MidnightDave]

Orville and Wilbur ... they look like the guys in the Guinness commercials.

heh I think u are wright (yes, pun intended)

[AztecWarrior]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
In Soviet Russia
Poems write you

(bash.org quote)

[Rayder]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've seen you shit
get the fuck out of my bathroom.

[xmodum]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've seen you shit
get the fuck out of my bathroom.
:rofl: :lol: :rofl:

[FlakMan]

millions of stillborn babies every year

[Rayder]

93 people a die day by knife.

[OneManArmy]

man hammas head looks soo good when its plasterd all over the canyon wall after my lightning bolt hits it :D

[martyr]

my catfish is insane.

[Triggar]

Look like crabs, talk like people.

[Jabberwocky]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
In Soviet Russia
Poems write you

(bash.org quote)


In Soviet Russia, bad jokes tell you.

Yakov Shmirnoff should die.
:mad:

[Jabberwocky]

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:


OMG ITS SNOOOWING!!!!
OMG ITS SNOOOOOWING
ITS SNOOOOOWING..... In TEXAAAAAS!

[EarlyDawn]

What do I want for breakfast?

[Febnon]

mmmmmmmm tasty Cheerios

[Triggar]

I just woke up to the sound of three F-14's flying overhead, followed by the familiar scream of cars being raced at the Daytona Speedway.

[Spee]

Graham Crackers shall be my name if...Nay, When I become an adult movie star.

[Rampert]

Here are some random thoughts for ya:

http://www.ztudios.com/boycott/



:p

[TheRegurgitator]

Ever wonder why Ocean water tastes so bad?

















Only 10% of male whale's sperm makes in to the female

[Dharkbayne]

Cheetos are fucking AWESOME.

[xmodum]

Ever wonder why Ocean water tastes so bad?



Only 10% of male whale's sperm makes in to the female
.......... , My brothers girlfriend is hawt, maybe I should slap her ass and say it was an accident....

[AztecWarrior]

You're the man now, dog.

[Triggar]

Why do you always run into people who you don't want to see.

[lightfire]

why was i born geeky'er then stephan hawkins :lol:

[lightfire]

hmm so peacemaker hates me on IRC.. great....

[Dharkbayne]

Hmmm... I guess I hate lightfire too. I also hate Octavian.

[Triggar]

I go 'round and 'round just like a circle.

[Rayder]

Your Schwartz is almost as long as mine!

[l3lizz4rd]

I wonder if Patrick Moore really does play the xylophone...

[Sentrosi]

If there is one movie that cannot be shown on network TV, it is the movie Spaceballs. Saw it today, in its bastardized form. I had to fill in all the good parts

"Keep firing assholes!"

amung other good parts in the movie.

Just got me thinking. Could you possibly overdub Full Metal Jacket to even make it sound close to the original?

"I wanna slip my tube steak into your sister" could be translated into network english as "I would like to grill a steak for your sister".
Some movies are NOT made for television.
___________________________________

If the world was square, would it still go round?
___________________________________

Jingles that never made it to TV:

* "I get oral satisfaction by using AquaFresh."
* "Mom, I stink down there. What do you use to feel fresh all day?"
* "Real men of genious. Today we salute you, Trojan condom tester. You ensure that us guys never ever have to worry about bangin chicks and not getting them preggers."
___________________________________

I bite my fingernails right down to the skin sometimes. Does this mean I lack protein or that I'm excessively nervous?
___________________________________

"One day, everyone will look back at this and laugh their asses off."
-Goering to Hitler
___________________________________

Why can't we enjoy the life we are given? Instead, most of us pine away for things we can't have; the car, the house, the super gaming PC, Asian schoolgirls.
___________________________________

[xmodum]

Hmmmm ..... Whats that smell?

[Triggar]

I wonder if Air Force One landed yet.

[Dharkbayne]

I wonder what human tastes like..

[Onizuka]

What's up with german hacking sites

[Dharkbayne]

I wonder how much the universe weighs..

[Onizuka]

I wonder how much the universe weighs..

Nothing. Its called gravity.

A better question would be: How much would it weigh ON EARTH, theoretically of course. Or what is the mass of the universe.

[SkunkPunk]

I hear its amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm from flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on hara-kiri rock. I NEED SCISSORS! 61!

[Triggar]

Mudslide milkshakes make my arms feel so light.

[Ivan]

I have a love for animals that's almsost.....illegal.

[Onizuka]

I have a love for animals that's almsost.....illegal.

...

[Dharkbayne]

I wonder how many midgets would equal the weight of an elephant on the moon if said elephant had 16 layers of baby fat on it's eyeballs.

[I Hate Pants]

I have a love for animals that's almsost.....illegal.

Folks! We've got a furrie here!

FURRIES SUX!!!!

[Doop]

If practice made perfect, but nobody's perfect, why practice?
I win

[Rbstr]

I wonder why my family doen't no who to right click.

And why My mom gets mad at me for doing nothing today when i hav al freaking day tomarow, and i jsut got back from a campout today, and why my dad is making me get up at 8, and making me finish my homework that early, and saying i can't even turn on the TV or radio untill i'm done, that gaon be liek 4 hours of scilence i can't handel that, my mind starts drifting, and then i get nothing done.

[Retroactive]

i like pickles.
do you like pickles?
i like pickles alot.
mm MMM pickles!
---------
:vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :vsrocks: :nazi:
:usa:
- all i have to say.

[AztecWarrior]

Folks! We've got a furrie here!

FURRIES SUX!!!!
And people say that you don't need to be armed.

FURRIES ARE INVADING!! READY YOUR SHOTGUNS!!! FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!

[OneManArmy]

This could possibly be the greatest surrender of all time.

[martyr]

Never run out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time.

[Liquidtide]

Chinesse food is a solid gas. You eat it you're full, you fart your brains out and are hungry again in 1 hour. MMMM Chinesse food.

[FlakMan]

sheep vaginas? really?

[Dharkbayne]

Who would win in a fight, Jesus , or the Incredible HULK?

[FlakMan]

sucks to your auntie

[DedEnimuls]

By the amount of blood here, there should be a body. But the butler swore he didn't do it.
Damn the rhesus monkeys.

[Triggar]

I fired 350 rounds today. That's a lot of misdirected anger.

[Dharkbayne]

My god Ron Jeremy is fucking ugly as fuck. He looks like a 65 year old mario.

[SkunkPunk]

!random

[DedEnimuls]

I think I'm in love with Man-Faye

[SkunkPunk]

Dharkbayne is a sexual predator.

[FlakMan]

What is love?

[AztecWarrior]

You can dance if you want to
You can leave your friends behind

'Cause if you got friends and they don't dance
Then they're no friends of mine

[PinchersOfPow]

Hmmm? Wonder what shed say if i asked her to give me a bj?

[FlakMan]

I'm Rick James bitch!

[Dharkbayne]

Slap!

[Triggar]

I wonder if my eyes will still burn in an hour.

[Doop]

asdf in morse code is .-...-.. If you take the .'s and convert them to 0s and take the -'s and convert them to 1s, you get the binary code of 0100010000010, which is 1090 in decimal. The year 1090 happens just 2 years after the Christodoulos of Patmos, supported by emperor Alexius I Komnenos. Only four years after the year 1090 AD... The First Crusade (1095-99) captured Jerusalem; and the latin kingdom of Jerusalem begins. Now because the crusade on jerusalem happened only a short time after the crucial year of 1090, we can convert the letters ASDF into the ancient hebrew alphabet, and we get "Aleph Vov Daled Samech". This phonetically sounds like "a lef volva leds da mech". This then can be converted to "A left volvo does lead the mechanics." This obviously means that a left volvo is a car made where you drive on the left side of the road, will one day rule the mechanical, or automobile industry. Ford Motors Inc. must have found this information before we could disclose this to you - for they just bought Volvo. Ford is obviously trying to own this ancient hebrew prophecy, and lead the automobile industry all to themselves! We shall stop them yet! ARMAGGEDON HAS BEGUN!!!!!

-
http://www.asdf.com

[Ivan]

"It's all shpooppy"

[FlakMan]

We're ammunition

[Dharkbayne]

French toast is so fucking win.

[BUGGER]

:spam:


Hey, its a thought.


and french toast is good

[xmodum]

My avatar is teh win.

[Triggar]

::bows::

(RANDOM THOUGHT = If I would have had one more landing, I'd be much, much happier)

[FlakMan]

Every restaurant should be open every day, now I have to change plans