[Fight]Teddy Roosevelt vs. Gandalf

[AztecWarrior]

http://www.voryssaterseymourandpease.org/FSL5CS/UploadedImages/roosevelt.jpg
Teddy Roosevelt, former US President

VERSUS

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/new_line_cinema/the_lord_of_the_rings__the_two_towers/ian_mckellen/towers.jpg
Gandalf, wizard of LotR fame.

I'm really tired and I don't know why I made this, but pick whoever you think would win in a fight. (Magic and firearms are allowed.)

EDIT: Fuck me. Forgot to make it a poll. Additionally, I even forgot to put Gandalf in the title, resulting in '[FIGHT]Teddy Roosevelt vs.'

Need sleeeeep.....

EDIT 2: I'm retarded. I forgot to put in my vote. TR wins it.

[Spee]

Well, note the only badassery gandalf showcased was with a sword in the mountain place. The best magic he created was a pussy beam of light.

Since only magic and firearms allowed, Flashlight Vs. Magnum = teddy wins.

[AztecWarrior]

Not just magic and firearms are allowed. Gandalf can go (attempt) to beat the shit out of TR, but seeing as his STR level is low, being a wizard and all, he would likely be beaten, considering that TR gets a +6 bonus when rolling a 1d6.

[AztecWarrior]

I want to be on PSU and sleep at the same time. I need Al Gore to give me a direct Interweb-brain link.

[EineBeBoP]

O_ wtf?

I guess gandalf.

[Spee]

Not just magic and firearms are allowed. Gandalf can go (attempt) to beat the shit out of TR, but seeing as his STR level is low, being a wizard and all, he would likely be beaten, considering that TR gets a +6 bonus when rolling a 1d6.


Wait. What bonus? base attack or damage? :p



/KnowsYoureFuckingWithHim

[Everay]

TR wins, nuff said, TR was a fuckin gun nut, you know that whole safari thing he went on, he killed all sorts of shit.

[ViperGTS]

Didnt he also have the very first teddy bear? TR wins...

[Lartnev]

Didnt he also have the very first teddy bear? TR wins...

Yes it was named after him, although his teddy was slightly large :D

Gandalf wins however. You forget his fight with Sauruman, his ability to summon cool creatures, make the room glow dark and of course shove a wooden stick through solid rock. :)

[Manitou]

Gandalf I say... why?

Gandalf's strength didn't come from his own efforts alone - Gandalf relied on his friends as well. I always pictured TR as somewhat of a cowboy. But Gandalf had Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and the Hobbit host as his friends and teammates on who he relied wholeheartedly.

That to me is the key to any victory - teamwork and relying on friends.

[Jennyboo]

O_ wtf?

I guess gandalf.

[Everay]

TR started and WON a war. that counts for something too.

[Sputty]

TR would use his dual mingun arm attachments and his shoulder mounted missile launcher to win.

[Onizuka-GTO]

Gandalf fought a demon and won. I never heard of TR doing that.

Gandalf : 1

TR : 0

[Madcow]

Gandalf fought a demon and won. I never heard of TR doing that.

Gandalf : 1

TR : 0

TR just doesn't feel the need to brag about all his demon slaying. Gandalf needed the pub.

[martyr]

roosevelt

[DeadTeddy]

can't do magic when your head is blown off your shoulders.

[firecrackerNC]

Gandalf for sure.He would use his magic to create a shield from the gun then he would throw fireballs and kittens at TR and kill him.Plus he was able to throw Saurmen against walls so he would toss TR up and down till TR passed out.'nuff sed

[DeadTeddy]

er, TR was a president. I want to see gandalf beat the entire US military.

[firecrackerNC]

fine if TR gets his army then Gandalf gets the people of middle earth in which case TR is STILL screwed cause now hes facing Aragorn,Legalos,Gimili and all the elves and dwarves and hobbits of middle earth so TR is screwed in the bum now.

[DeadTeddy]

er, let's see now, who will win, a few thousand swordsmen and archers, or millions of soldiers armed with firearms, tanks, planes, battleships and the sort? a god damn nazgul caused trouble for those guys, something a P-51 will own in three seconds flat.

[Sputty]

fine if TR gets his army then Gandalf gets the people of middle earth in which case TR is STILL screwed cause now hes facing Aragorn,Legalos,Gimili and all the elves and dwarves and hobbits of middle earth so TR is screwed in the bum now.
You're kidding, right?...A single tank would rape a bunch of swordmen and archers, let alone thousands of US infantry and hundreds of tanks.

[firecrackerNC]

Bah theyd still win even if they were outnumbered.The elves would combine there magic and shoot fireballs and lightning at the US army and fry them into little bitsy pieces.And the dwarves would make a fortress out of Mitril so no missles and such can damage them.The hobbits will burrow under ground and set traps for the armies.Bwahahhahahahaha face it your TR are no match for my Gandalf!!

[OfaLoaf]

TR wins. Though I have to admonish some of you TR supporters... TR died in 1919 or 20. P-51s weren't around untill the 1940s.

Still, the US navy beats any wooden shitty ship the elves would put out. And the flying Eagles can't deflect machine guns. And tanks would so screw over the swordsmen.

[Lartnev]

The US Navy stands no chance against raging waters in the shape of white horses.

TR was just a man, Gandalf was a wizard.

[OfaLoaf]

The US Navy stands no chance against raging waters in the shape of white horses.

TR was just a man, Gandalf was a wizard.
TR was the Commander in chief of one of the most powerful military powers of the time. Go on, the horses can't attack under water. I'd like to see them go after a sub.

[DeadTeddy]

oops, wrong president. I thought that was the WW2 guy :rolleyes:
but even an early 20th century pres would seriously own middle eart. swords and spears are worthless at less then 20 meters, arrows at 200. a bunch of snipers will take out any elf, dwarf or hobbit in a 1/2 mile radius. all those gandalf lovers almost lost because of a single bomb.

gandalf can use his flashlight all he wants, snipers can use sunglasses.

[Sputty]

The US Navy stands no chance against raging waters in the shape of white horses.

TR was just a man, Gandalf was a wizard.
Destroyersm, cruisers and battleships would shrug off those waves, which are the equivalent of a small storm, US Mgers and infantry would have a huge advantage over archers and swordsmen, tanks would be more or less impervious to anything but the strongest, and rarest attacks, and even WWI era bi planes would have no problem taking down the Eagles.

2 tanks could probably take down a Balrog with no problem, and since there's thousands of tanks, I doubt there would be much of a fight

[Cyanide]

Gandalf is teh win (http://www.googlefight.com/cgi-bin/compare.pl?q1=Teddy+Roosevelt&q2=Gandalf&B1=Make+a+fight%21&compare=1&langue=us)

[Spee]

If gandalf was a complete badass who could cast fireballs and nukes and generally own everything, then Id go for him. But hes a wuss that can make light come out of a staff and a blue bubble come around him, in addition to making people play twister against thier will.


twister Vs. Handgun = Handgun for teh win.

Plus, Gandalf is too happy. TR would be like "What the hell, you from some kinda cult?!" And blow his goddamn head off before Gandalf could even think of casting a spell. And there is no bullet-time-dodge spell.

[Cyanide]

If gandalf was a complete badass who could cast fireballs and nukes and generally own everything, then Id go for him. But hes a wuss that can make light come out of a staff and a blue bubble come around him, in addition to making people play twister against thier will.


twister Vs. Handgun = Handgun for teh win.

Plus, Gandalf is too happy. TR would be like "What the hell, you from some kinda cult?!" And blow his goddamn head off before Gandalf could even think of casting a spell. And there is no bullet-time-dodge spell.

Fool! Gandalf could turn TRs gun into molten steel and toss his rough riding ass 50 feet in the air before TR had a chance to crap his pants in awe of Gandalfs power. :D

[OfaLoaf]

Bomb Gandalf.

[xmodum]

100 Tanks, with steel armour and all, against a bunch of people with knifes and swords?
C'mon, they would be so confuzed, the LOTR people would'nt even know how to open a tank, much less blow one up, this discussion is over.

[firecrackerNC]

You are correct,this disscussion is over.Gandalf is teh win.Plus if you kill him he will come back stronger then ever.Plus it would piss the Valar off and not even tanks and planes can stop a pissed off God. :)

[OfaLoaf]

You are correct,this disscussion is over.Gandalf is teh win.Plus if you kill him he will come back stronger then ever.Plus it would piss the Valar off and not even tanks and planes can stop a pissed off God. :)
Lesee... I've seen Gandalf swordfight.... flashlight.... ride a fast horse.

[BUGGER]

If gandalf wins and kills our military, i'm moving to france

[firecrackerNC]

Just because you havent seen him throw fireballs from his ass doesnt mean he cant.Just means he doesnt think your ready to see his full power fools! Plus with the Valar and Il�vatur you be screwed.TR would have to fight all the valar including Manw�, Aul�, Ulmo, Tulkas, Orom�, Irmo, Mandos (Namo), Varda, Yavanna, Nienna, Nessa, V�na, and Vair�.So HAHA!!

[OfaLoaf]

Just because you havent seen him throw fireballs from his ass doesnt mean he cant.Just means he doesnt think your ready to see his full power fools! Plus with the Valar and Il�vatur you be screwed.TR would have to fight all the valar including Manw�, Aul�, Ulmo, Tulkas, Orom�, Irmo, Mandos (Namo), Varda, Yavanna, Nienna, Nessa, V�na, and Vair�.So HAHA!!
The Valar and Iluwhat? Are they his allies?

[Sputty]

You are correct,this disscussion is over.Gandalf is teh win.Plus if you kill him he will come back stronger then ever.Plus it would piss the Valar off and not even tanks and planes can stop a pissed off God. :)

First, you know little about wizards and how they work, second, he may be strong for middle earth, but by modern standards he can make a flashlight and make a bubble around himself. Not all that strong at all. And this has nothing to do with Middle Earth gods, because if it comes down to that, how we see god would fucking pimp slap any of their gods.

[Mr1337Duck]

My God bitch-slaps their gods. You know, and then he shoots them with an X0920393 with laser, scope, silencer, .50 cal, fully auto, grenade launcher, plasma launcher, flamethrower, radiation thing, etc. And he can handle a pimped out gun like the one I just made up because he's just that awesome.

[JetRaiden]

I vote for Teddy, because Im pretty sure he's killed some kind of animal on every continent. Gandalf just....wait what does he do? other then talk and stuff and ward off a few enemies, he didnt do all that much in the movies.

[OfaLoaf]

Gandalf was not chisled onto Mount Rushmore.

[ViperGTS]

Hes not on it...

[OfaLoaf]

Hes not on it...
Yes, Gandalf's not on it.
No, TR is on it.

[AztecWarrior]

Just because you havent seen him throw fireballs from his ass doesnt mean he cant.Just means he doesnt think your ready to see his full power fools! Plus with the Valar and Il�vatur you be screwed.TR would have to fight all the valar including Manw�, Aul�, Ulmo, Tulkas, Orom�, Irmo, Mandos (Namo), Varda, Yavanna, Nienna, Nessa, V�na, and Vair�.So HAHA!!
And we have God.

TR: The evil mages appear to be conjuring powers! God! Show them your might!

*mushroom cloud forms over Middle-Earth*

TR: BULLY! (He said BULLY! when he meant things positively.)

[Dharkbayne]

<CDL-ObnoxiousFrog> I keep expecting AztecWarrior to swing through a window on a rope, screaming "JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!"

[AztecWarrior]

<CDL-ObnoxiousFrog> I keep expecting AztecWarrior to swing through a window on a rope, screaming "JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!"
You're both fat. Shut up.

[Dharkbayne]

You're both fat. Shut up.

:love:

I love you too.

[Rbstr]

Gandalf hands down, he is very powerfull even if he doesn't show it in the movies, in the books he does a crazy fireshield thing, and he can make lighting and all sorts of ther stuff. Not to mention all the other wizards would help, what were they called? istairi or somehting?

[Ouroboros]

I made a poll, incase anyone is still voting.

[Triggar]

Gandalf would totally own any US President, past or present, and Dharkbayne is not fat, he's big-boned.

[Ivan]

Gandalf would totally own any US President, past or present, and Dharkbayne is not fat, he's big-boned.
I say he's think skinned. :)

[UncleDynamite]

TR would use his dual mingun arm attachments and his shoulder mounted missile launcher to win.

Hey, we didn't learn about that in History class...

2 tanks could probably take down a Balrog with no problem, and since there's thousands of tanks, I doubt there would be much of a fight

Now that's just silly. The Balrog is a goddamn Maia, man. The Maiar are primordial spirits unmeasurable in their power. The only reason Gandalf even had a chance to injure the Balrog is because Gandalf himself is a Maia as old as the world itself. No mere human, elvish, or dwarvish weapon can cause physical harm to a Maia (if my Tolkien knowledge serves me well), so a tank would do squat to either of them. You could have a whole army shelling away, but none would have the magical power to defeat such beings.

Bah, never mind. Most people don't know enough about Tolkien to appreciate Gandalf... :(

[Onizuka-GTO]

Gandalf was a Maia?
:eek:

[OfaLoaf]

Alright, the army would have some troubles against the supernaturual things, but still: Swordsman v. Rifles and Tanks.


And I still have more respect for TR than for Gandalf, because TR had
more determination
more strength
more cool jobs
the guts to go up in a flimsy early airplane.

Not only that, Gandalf is a fornicating Fictional character!

[Onizuka-GTO]

Not only that, Gandalf is a fornicating Fictional character!

if your saying Gandalf is at an disadvantage just because he is a fictional person, then what is the point of this contest?
:rolleyes:

[OfaLoaf]

if your saying Gandalf is at an disadvantage just because he is a fictional person, then what is the point of this contest?
:rolleyes:
No, Gandalf is at an advantage because of it. You could make him do anything!


"Yeh, well, Gandalf can cast magic and stop all the bullets"