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View Full Version : The FDA gets realistic.


OfaLoaf
2004-06-01, 07:24 AM
Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can
logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have
mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe people are
laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

TekDragon
2004-06-01, 07:28 AM
Ugh... those bring back some bad memories.

Fragmatic
2004-06-01, 07:42 AM
Ugh... those bring back some bad memories.

Ivan
2004-06-01, 07:48 AM
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.:rofl:

Dharkbayne
2004-06-01, 12:40 PM
Ugh... those bring back some bad memories.


"im sottttttttryyuuuuuuuuuuuu"

:lol: :p

Hamma
2004-06-01, 12:44 PM
:lol:

Sputty
2004-06-01, 01:15 PM
Warning: Alcohol consumption may make you believe you have a snake in your pants and you may rip off your genitals to stop it

Hamma
2004-06-01, 02:07 PM
That only happened to me once.

JetRaiden
2004-06-01, 05:28 PM
:lol: is that real?

scarpas
2004-06-01, 05:36 PM
Warning: Alcohol consumption may make you believe you have a snake in your pants and you may rip off your genitals to stop it



ouch. :scared:

firecrackerNC
2004-06-01, 09:19 PM
lol I can relate to at least 4-5 of those from a few weeks ago

TekDragon
2004-06-02, 12:10 AM
"im sottttttttryyuuuuuuuuuuuu"

:lol: :p

Omg, how do you still remember that? Your worse than Squeeky. I hate you.

UncleDynamite
2004-06-02, 03:05 AM
The Flash versions of some of the above warnings (http://www.funnypart.com/funny_flash/warnings.shtml)

SDM
2004-06-02, 03:10 AM
Omg, how do you still remember that? Your worse than Squeeky. I hate you.
Not too long ago someone linked the thread. It was a funnay read. :)

I was thinking it - Dharkbayne typed it.

Electrofreak
2004-06-02, 03:32 AM
Sadly, the one flash of the guy dancing reminds me a LOT of my own dancing on new years... I was dancing to some music (i don't remember what it was... in fact theres a lot i dont remember, i was high half the time too) but I was dancing with a glass of vodka mixed with... mountain dew code red I think... anyhow as I recall I spilled a bunch of it all over the floor and myself... and a bunch of people found it very amusing. :(

wow New Years is always a blast (except the next morning when your friends tell you about all the drunk fucked-up shit you did that night, your head is throbbing intensely and you are wondering WHERE IN HELL YOUR LEFT SNEAKER WENT TO)
:lol:

TekDragon
2004-06-02, 07:01 AM
Not too long ago someone linked the thread. It was a funnay read. :)

I was thinking it - Dharkbayne typed it.

oops:

I still can't even look at orange juice w/out getting quesy :sick: