Old Lady+Telephone+Dog=?

[Wraithlord]

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report
that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and
that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always
moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman
proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or
senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test
set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring
right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman
found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground
wire via a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current
when the phone number was called.

4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start
moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus
causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by
pissing and moaning.

[Retroactive]

:lol:

[ZeusCali]

:rofl:

but, how bad would 90 volts be?

[Baneblade]

Stick a 9 volt battery on yer tounge, then multiply by 10..

[Sputty]

of n

[MadCat360]

Not as bad as 110 which I HAVE been shocked with, hurts a bit... BTW ROFLMAO.

[ZeusCali]

actually seeing as the dog moaned and all.. wait nvm no one in there right mind would do that just to see the comparitive experience...
if you dont understand i wont explain it to you

[Squeeky]

Poor doggie

[MadCat360]

Really!

[Doop]

I'm suprised the dog only moaned, from what I've seen whenever dogs get any kind of quick electric shock they start freaking out and running around.

[ZeusCali]

it's only a shock if its a shock... aka the dog got used to it.

[Dharkbayne]

it's only a shock if its a shock... aka the dog got used to it.

If so, then stick a butter knife into an electrical socket a few times.

Infact, do that anyways, please.

[ZeusCali]

well if you actual read what i wrote you would say do it a few times as the first time the shock would be shocking but after that you get used to it. So dhark are you dumb enough to stick the knife in and out a few times?


btw you might not of understood your own fucking language so here is the 2 needed definitions thx to dictionary.com

shock-2 a. Something that jars the mind or emotions as if with a violent unexpected blow.
5 The sensation and muscular spasm caused by an electric current passing through the body or a body part.

so when i say the shock won't shock you any more i don't mean it will stop being painful.

btw to quote an idiot

"www.hop.com" use it before you try to force it down others throats,<insert appropriate insult aimed at DB>.

[Mushnator]

well if you actual read what i wrote you would say do it a few times as the first time the shock would be shocking but after that you get used to it. So dhark are you dumb enough to stick the knife in and out a few times?


btw you might not of understood your own fucking language so here is the 2 needed definitions thx to dictionary.com

shock-2 a. Something that jars the mind or emotions as if with a violent unexpected blow.
5 The sensation and muscular spasm caused by an electric current passing through the body or a body part.

so when i say the shock won't shock you any more i don't mean it will stop being painful.

btw to quote an idiot

"www.hop.com" use it before you try to force it down others throats,<insert appropriate insult aimed at DB>.

http://www.thegreatestofalltime.com/groups/us/documents/image/gp023752.jpg

:D

[Squeeky]

http://www.thegreatestofalltime.com/groups/us/documents/image/gp023752.jpg


lmfao @ URL + LINK.

[Wraithlord]

wow if I'd know how much hate this would have caused I wouldn't have posted it :(
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j/k I like seeing people flame each other over meaningless things :) its funny :D

[Mushnator]

lmfao @ URL + LINK.

Google Images works really well, as you can tell. :D

[ControlledBurn]

well if you actual read what i wrote you would say do it a few times as the first time the shock would be shocking but after that you get used to it. So dhark are you dumb enough to stick the knife in and out a few times?


btw you might not of understood your own fucking language so here is the 2 needed definitions thx to dictionary.com

shock-2 a. Something that jars the mind or emotions as if with a violent unexpected blow.
5 The sensation and muscular spasm caused by an electric current passing through the body or a body part.

so when i say the shock won't shock you any more i don't mean it will stop being painful.

btw to quote an idiot

"www.hop.com" use it before you try to force it down others throats,<insert appropriate insult aimed at DB>.

You say one thing, and when someone calls you on it, you backtrack and attempt to change what you said

it's only a shock if its a shock... aka the dog got used to it

According to the definitions you were so kind to post, if electrical current is still flowing through the muscle, it's considered a shock. The way you wrote that insinsuates that only the first definition of jarring the mind applies.

Also, maybe if your dumb ass learned some grammar, we could decipher whatever the shit you're trying to say the first time we read it, rather than having to piece it together word by word because you can't form a complete sentence. Maybe you should be checking out hooked on phonics yourself junior.

So to summarize, in the future, if you're going to flame anyone for anything, make sure you didn't fuck up. If you did, grow some balls, be a man, and deal with it. Don't try and cover your ass by throwing out more gramatically incorrect crap that doesn't even support your original statement fully.

[Triggar]

Flaming people on the internet is like being in the Special Olympics.

[Infernus]

...PSU gone grammar nazi... WTF?

[Dharkbayne]

well if you actual read what i wrote you would say do it a few times as the first time the shock would be shocking but after that you get used to it. So dhark are you dumb enough to stick the knife in and out a few times?


btw you might not of understood your own fucking language so here is the 2 needed definitions thx to dictionary.com

shock-2 a. Something that jars the mind or emotions as if with a violent unexpected blow.
5 The sensation and muscular spasm caused by an electric current passing through the body or a body part.

so when i say the shock won't shock you any more i don't mean it will stop being painful.

btw to quote an idiot

"www.hop.com" use it before you try to force it down others throats,<insert appropriate insult aimed at DB>.

http://gphan.com/pics/albums/omghi2u/WTFhorse_001.jpg