Need a good comeback

[Jaged]

Anyone know any good names to call fat people? This stupid fat kid keeps pushing me around and I need to show him whos boss. I just cant think of anything.oh, and dont hold back if its realy mean. The meaner the better.*evil laughing*:evil:

Oh, and no offence to fat people.

[Revolution]

I dont know what grade or age you are talking about but in grade school and high school bullies used to pick on me. Untill they pushed to hard I stood up to em showing no fear sometimes fists when it became necessary, as a last alternative. Usually they back down after you show them your not going to take it anymore.
Name calling, like flaming, usually doesnt work. Look at the people who flame on this board, does name calling work to chill them out?

My 3 cents worth(Inflation)

[ABRAXAAS]

Yes like he said ,dont try to use your wits ,and take the good way out ,you kick his ass ,cause only violence solves problems:D

LOL! just remeber, its only school and when you finaly get out and get on with life ,you'll look back when your doing well for yourself ,and he's just a big fat bully ,livin at home drinkin beer downloading kiddie porn,and laugh and that will be the best reward:D

[Revolution]

Originally posted by ABRAXAAS
and he's just a big fat bully ,livin at home drinkin beer downloading kiddie porn,and laugh and that will be the best reward:D
Whats wrong with that?

Seriously I DID NOT say use violence I said it came to that on occasion as a last result.

Here is an example. Abraxaass, you are just a lil bitch 12 year old that has no right to talk about jack till you grow some pubic hairs. (Now do you think that made any difference to someone like him? I will say No)

Now on the other hand. Lets say he was a classmate and always flamed me, and I just ignored it, till he kept pushing and I finally stand up say, look, STFU with your shit! I am not gonna take it from someone who's Mom is so fat she plays pool with the planets! Your mamma is so fat she wore a malcom X shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her, from someone who's mamma is so fat when she bungee jumped she went straight to Hell, from someone who's mamma is so fat the only thing keeping her from going to Jenny Craig was the Door, who's mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh, who's mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower, who's mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station, who's mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama", who's mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck, who's mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down, who's mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 45 years to live, who's mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her, who's mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid, " she comes crashing through the wall, who's mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her, who's mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial, who's mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the light bulb who's mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet spot, who's mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale, who's mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone, who's mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof, who's mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.

But I do not condone making fun of him..... ;) :D

[Ludio]

See above posts for usefull info...

If you just want to have fun though then insult him in ways above his level of comprehension. For example you could call him a gourmet savant. Comebacks are usually spur of the moment things, see what you have to work with. If he is seriously bullying you then see above posts as I said, if he is just being an asshole then be confident of your superiority.

[afex]

if you have to go to forums for advice on comebacks, you are in no position to be insulting anybody.

[Revolution]

Originally posted by ABRAXAAS
Rev do you know where I could download some really good gay porn?

No! I dont swing that way I am a T & A man! Dont ask me shit like that whats wrong with you?! Not even a PM, you ask on the forum! ?!:mad:

[Revolution]

NOW YOU DELETED YOUR POST?!?!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:









*This was a test of the UYWAPBA (Using Your Whits Against People Being Assholes)
*This was an example only, and herebye any names, posts, or responses are fictional and UYWAPBA takes no liability.

[ABRAXAAS]

someones a little petty ,You see the little smiley face after my post ,that means ,im making a funny ,then I put LOL also meaning laughing, and what I posted obviously was a hyperbolization of your post, Im getting a little tired of having to explain myself to veery dumbass with no sense of humour.

[afex]

Originally posted by ABRAXAAS
someones a little petty ,You see the little smiley face after my post ,that means ,im making a funny ,then I put LOL also meaning laughing, and what I posted obviously was a hyperbolization of your post, Im getting a little tired of having to explain myself to veery dumbass with no sense of humour.

he's not the one who deleted his post

[ABRAXAAS]

Oh come on I dedent delete any posts,what the hell is that ,I dont even have the ability to delete posts, yah I actually asked the guy where to buy gay porn ? what the fuck ,I hope your joking :confused:

[Ludio]

Abraxaas, I don't think that being a MENSA troll is a good idea right now, Hamma has already warned you hasn't he?

[ABRAXAAS]

see proof that I cant delete a post , i just tried

You do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:
You do not have permission to access the page that you were trying to. Are you trying to edit someone else's post or trying to access administrative features? Check that you are allowed to perform this action in the Forum Rules.
If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.


so there
:D

[ABRAXAAS]

Originally posted by Ludio
Abraxaas, I don't think that being a MENSA troll is a good idea right now, Hamma has already warned you hasn't he?

what the hell did I do now :confused:

[Jaged]

Thats all good advice. But I know the situation better than any of you and I think a good name that I could call him would work best. The problem is alot more complicated than you know(hes actualy kindof my friend, its a long story). Im just asking for a good fat name type thingy to call him.

[ABRAXAAS]

sorry man cant help you ,im bound to piss off fat people or something :confused:

[Revolution]

Ok J, I get ya. I have one that cracks me up sometimes and its not that mean. Ever seen the movie Major Payne?

Bleep bleep bleep, You remind me of the Philsberry Dough Boy! If I poke ya in the belly will it make ya go BLLOOOOOOOUUUU(The Doughboy sound)

Its not really that mean. But if I was you, why dont you do a search on fat jokes on the internet??!? You didnt think I just randomly came up with all those Yo Mamma's ! I am not That creative.

[ABRAXAAS]

Originally posted by Revolution
Ok J, I get ya. I have one that cracks me up sometimes and its not that mean. Ever seen the movie Major Payne?

Bleep bleep bleep, You remind me of the Philsberry Dough Boy! If I poke ya in the belly will it make ya go BLLOOOOOOOUUUU(The Doughboy sound)

Its not really that mean. But if I was you, why dont you do a search on fat jokes on the internet??!? You didnt think I just randomly came up with all those Yo Mamma's ! I am not That creative.

hence the childish Idea to make a fake quote ;)

[Revolution]

Originally posted by Jaged
Thats all good advice. But I know the situation better than any of you and I think a good name that I could call him would work best. The problem is alot more complicated than you know(hes actualy kindof my friend, its a long story). Im just asking for a good fat name type thingy to call him.

I dont think name calling is the answer seriously. But I dont know the story so if you want some advice on what to do In Our Opinion(PSU boys)(and hot sexy eMa)(I mean PSU girls), you might want to elaborate on the story.
But if you are determined to put him down you should elaborate a little more. Short story though please.
All I have to say on this post exept, Why Cant We All Just :love:

[Hamma]

Originally posted by ABRAXAAS
what the hell did I do now :confused:
Unfortunatly you are a troll.

[Navaron]

"if you have to go to forums for advice on comebacks, you are in no position to be insulting anybody."

I gotta go with afex here. I used to be mouthy, but I could back it up. It sounds like confrontation will just get your ass beat. I would suggest another avenue. The Dick head method. Everytime the guy looks at you, talks to you or is in visual contact with you, give him a disdainful look, as if he has no right to even be in your precense because he is lower than snake shit. Don't talk to him, give him snobby looks, and if he says something to you ask him Who the fuck he thinks he is talking to you. Where does he get off talking to you. He's not good enough.

The kid obviously has a few insecurities, so pissing him off about being fat will just get your ass beat, but making him feel worse without saying anything probably won't (It might actually if you're a real weenie).

Or you could grow up, ignore him, tell him to shove it and mind his own damn business, which right now, should be fuckin liposuction, joggin and jenny craig.

[Unregistered]

Let me be the negitive influnce in this thread since the best defence can sometimes be a quick wit.....

Try some of thses...

"I bet your the type of person who looks at a menu and says 'That'll do nicely'"

"Your so fat you've got more chins then a Chineese Phone Book!"

"You've got more rolls then a friggen bakery!"

"You'd think after all the weight lifting you do you'd be able to bench more then a jelly doughnut!"

Hope that helps.


/me goes back to work.

[Revolution]

"I ate a baby!" "Get In My Belly!"

Go Austin Powers on him like a crazy mofo.

[ABRAXAAS]

Originally posted by Hamma
Unfortunatly you are a troll.

Am not!:doh:

[Sputty]

How old are you Jaged? And do you know how to use knives well?

[ABRAXAAS]

Originally posted by Sputty
How old are you Jaged? And do you know how to use knives well?

if your gonna go that far ,yah may aswell use guns, it worked out well for those columbine kids:confused:

[Sputty]

Firstly, you must like to get flamed or troll. Also, I wasn't telling him to use knives against others just asking him if he knew how to use them. Also, I like to throw knives and catch tem with my teeth....Ok...I just throw them and then hide under the desk and start crying....:tear:

[ABRAXAAS]

Oh come on I couldnt leave that one alone:D

[Dead Ben]

Originally posted by Ludio
See above posts for usefull info...

If you just want to have fun though then insult him in ways above his level of comprehension. For example you could call him a gourmet savant. Comebacks are usually spur of the moment things, see what you have to work with. If he is seriously bullying you then see above posts as I said, if he is just being an asshole then be confident of your superiority.

excellent point

[Dead Ben]

In all seriousness, just call him Erik the lard ass in this thread. Let me know so I can point one of my friends named Erik who is a lard ass in the direction of this thread.

[Zumthor]

my fav fat insult is "sausage fingers" :D

[Fire_Monkey]

Can't wait till ABRAXAAS becomes a l337 whore so he'll stop trolling ;) can't you just give him a personalized one?

[Sputty]

Did you see much of RabidPlatypus? That's what happens to bad trollers

[ABRAXAAS]

Im trying to cut back on my trolling ,but its so hard ,Im at work and this is what i do to entertain myself ,atleast im not sitting at home doing this ,im gettin payed :D

[Derv]

Ummmm, I'm not SURE (lol) but I think afex meant that HE (afex) deleted it.

[Camping Carl]

Try this: The Ultimate Insult (http://sounds.wavcentral.com/movies/monty/fart_direction.mp3)

[Hamma]

afex is not a moderator.

[Bighoss]

The best fat joke is to aim at his man tits. Boob Twitty, Larg tits, What size cup do u have? etc

start lifting weights and running, Don't do the presentation on planetside it will only give him something to feed on.

kick his ass if you can. Fat kids have fat strength they swing slow but hard. Get a few quick ones in his face he won't believe it happened. If he gets shocked at hell smack hit him as hard as you can in the face. If he gets you on the ground to wrestling your fucked because he will sit on you and enclose his fat ass cheeks around your head:D. Never attack the balls u look like a sissy. If he tries to intimidate u keep going with the fat jokes about his man tits.

be relentless make him feel like shit. I've been in a few fights as you can see hehe

If u get hurt DO not cry no matter what ! Never let him know he hurt u. Don't be gay and try to do pressure point crap just fight like a guy with fists

[Camping Carl]

Bad advice. ^

[Bighoss]

my advice is the only real way to get out of this without forever solidifying yourself are a looser for the rest of school. Name calling is usaully not enough unless your early grade school.

Let me repeat what I said before don't do that presentation it will only give him more to feed on

[ABRAXAAS]

I want to say violence is never the way ,and I wish it wasnt because its wrong but I to was picked on and bullied and it wasnt untill I beat his ass sencless in gym class did i ever get it to stop :( always try everything else first, but dont be affraid to stand up for yourself either :D

[Sigurd]

Their is only one condition to kicking this kids ass, how many buddies is he gonna get in a posse thats sole mission is to beat down your ass. Once you answer that question feel free to make ur decision.

[Bighoss]

Originally posted by ABRAXAAS
I want to say violence is never the way ,and I wish it wasnt because its wrong but I to was picked on and bullied and it wasnt untill I beat his ass sencless in gym class did i ever get it to stop :( always try everything else first, but dont be affraid to stand up for yourself either :D

I have to say I've never been truly bullied because I kick the kids ass or intimidate him enough to make him shut up. no one has fucked with me since 7grade

[Sputty]

Don't do what Bighoss told you for sure. You'll end up looking like an idiot. Violence doesn't work on small scales.

[Ludio]

Violence doesn't work on small scales.

You're completely right Sputty, I would suggest using tactical nukes. Violence only works on a big scale. :D

[Sputty]

Exactly, fighting someone wil never make a difference while things like wars or things like that does. Hence "small scale never works". I prefer surgical strikes myself but tactical nukes are ok. Unless you can muster up an army and attack him don't use violence. No point.

[Bighoss]

yep just telling yourself that. Why'll your in fantasy land can I please have a flying pony?:D

[Sputty]

Sure, but I think you must be pretty homosexual if you want a pony

[Bighoss]

well that is a generalization (dunno how to spell it). I could be a cowboy:D

[Nohimn]

You're momma is like a school bus! She's big, doesn't smell too good, and is only $1 to ride.

[Bighoss]

yah:(

[Tobias]

How to get back at this person, by Tobias:


Get on your computer, and type out sevral love notes to the cheerleaders and other hot girls at your school, or better yet to some of the gay guys at your school, or younger teachers who still have some looks. Now sign these notes as the bully and put them in these peoples lockers/under door to office. You must type them so your hand wrighting is not recinizable. When wrighting them think of what kind of sex you would like to have with those girls and say as much in your letter. It will make him hatted, even if most take it as a joke and know he is not to blame. But what ever you do, dont tell ANYONE, not even your closest friends what you did, else you will be found out and either get your ass pounded by the bully or the staff of your school will expell/suspend you.

[Camping Carl]

:stupid:

[Nohimn]

I've tried that before. It is fucking hilarious! If someone pissed you off, or you simply want to piss someone else off, that is the penultimate way to do it. but of course "penultimate" because there is better.

[Jaged]

Thanks for all your help, I especialy liked someones idea to ask him what cup size he used. I used that one on him to a very nice affect :). He has curly hair, so I pointed to his hair and commented on how he was growing curly hair on his ass and how he better get it checked. Like I said, he used to be my friend, and now, after I used those two insults on him he seemes to respect me more. I think this friendship is back on track. If he does, however, start being an ass again, I will be tempted to use that love note idea. :D

[SandTrout]

"Get laid by someone other than your sheep, then we'll talk."

Don't give them a chance to respond, just walk away and ignore him. If he tries phisical violence, punch him in the nose as hard as you can.