Unregistered
2003-02-07, 06:07 PM
Saw this on Something Awful and thought it was pretty good. made me laugh anyway after posting that other thread.
Operation: Winnuke
http://www.somethingawful.com/inserts/news/images/02-2003/02-07-2003-winnuke.jpg
Watch out for Korea!
Operational Plan: One of the most vulnerable areas of Iraq is its weak technological infrastructure. Still largely in a state of disorder from the constant US and British bombing campaign against Iraqi communications centers, the Iraqi computer network is vulnerable to attack. One US plan calls for a multi-phase operation conducted largely within the framework of the recently unveiled International Community Messenger. This computer system allows world leaders to communicate one-on-one over the Internet. Phase one of the operation will involve a coordinated effort by George W. Bush to get all of the world leaders supporting a war against Iraq online at the same time. He will tell them all to start innocuous conversations with Iraq and that when they see the warning level of Iraq rising on their contact list they are to begin warning Iraq until the nation is logged out of the Messenger service. If executed properly phase one will prevent Iraq from rallying sympathetic nations to its cause after phase two has struck.
Phase two will begin with the United States beginning a conversation with Iraq over trivial things. At some point during the conversation the US will send Iraq a seemingly harmless video file that actually contains an annoying virus script that will deadlock the Iraqi computer system, making it both difficult and embarrassing to use. As mentioned, before Iraq can retaliate or request aid allies of the United States will warn Iraq until it is temporarily banned from the service. To help you better understand how this operation will go down we have modeled it using advanced computer technology called "Microsoft Notepad".
US_of_A[NATO] Hey d00d, what's up?
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ not 2 much ***
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ u got the UN resolution u want me to sign lol
US_of_A[NATO] yeah man, check this out 1st, it's a krad video of this crazy Koreen kids dancing
US_of_A[NATO] wants to send you the file Dance_Routine(Funny!).wmv.vbs.
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ ok its downloadin
US_of_A[NATO] cool when its done run it
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ ok
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ WTF its opening gay pron popups
US_of_A[NATO] pwned
You have warned the user US_of_A[NATO]
You have been warned by the user US_of_A[NATO] Warning Level is 10%
You have been warned by the user UK[NATO] Warning Level is 25%
You have been warned by the user Spizzain[NATO] Warning Level is 50%
You have been warned by the user iTaLy[NATO] Warning Level is 75%
You have been warned by the user Canada[420TreesHitter][NATO] Warning Level is 100%
***You are being temporarily logged out of International Community Messenger***
After this Iraq's computer and communication infrastructure will be isolated from the world community and Iraq will be vulnerable to further offensive operations.
Possible Threats: North Korea is constantly online and attempting to send the United States viruses through ICM. Technical specialists are usually able to persuade to the president not to open "Sexyjapaneselass_Vs_Playboy.scr". However, President Bush has already infected some 400 government computers with various e-mail and ICM viruses, and if alone may do so again. In the right North Korean hands this could compromise the security of the entire operation.
Estimated Casualties: Pretty much everyone in Iraq's tech-sector is expected to be summarily executed by Saddam if this plan works. Other than that no casualties are expected
Operation: Winnuke
http://www.somethingawful.com/inserts/news/images/02-2003/02-07-2003-winnuke.jpg
Watch out for Korea!
Operational Plan: One of the most vulnerable areas of Iraq is its weak technological infrastructure. Still largely in a state of disorder from the constant US and British bombing campaign against Iraqi communications centers, the Iraqi computer network is vulnerable to attack. One US plan calls for a multi-phase operation conducted largely within the framework of the recently unveiled International Community Messenger. This computer system allows world leaders to communicate one-on-one over the Internet. Phase one of the operation will involve a coordinated effort by George W. Bush to get all of the world leaders supporting a war against Iraq online at the same time. He will tell them all to start innocuous conversations with Iraq and that when they see the warning level of Iraq rising on their contact list they are to begin warning Iraq until the nation is logged out of the Messenger service. If executed properly phase one will prevent Iraq from rallying sympathetic nations to its cause after phase two has struck.
Phase two will begin with the United States beginning a conversation with Iraq over trivial things. At some point during the conversation the US will send Iraq a seemingly harmless video file that actually contains an annoying virus script that will deadlock the Iraqi computer system, making it both difficult and embarrassing to use. As mentioned, before Iraq can retaliate or request aid allies of the United States will warn Iraq until it is temporarily banned from the service. To help you better understand how this operation will go down we have modeled it using advanced computer technology called "Microsoft Notepad".
US_of_A[NATO] Hey d00d, what's up?
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ not 2 much ***
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ u got the UN resolution u want me to sign lol
US_of_A[NATO] yeah man, check this out 1st, it's a krad video of this crazy Koreen kids dancing
US_of_A[NATO] wants to send you the file Dance_Routine(Funny!).wmv.vbs.
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ ok its downloadin
US_of_A[NATO] cool when its done run it
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ ok
_+Iraq[AoE]+_ WTF its opening gay pron popups
US_of_A[NATO] pwned
You have warned the user US_of_A[NATO]
You have been warned by the user US_of_A[NATO] Warning Level is 10%
You have been warned by the user UK[NATO] Warning Level is 25%
You have been warned by the user Spizzain[NATO] Warning Level is 50%
You have been warned by the user iTaLy[NATO] Warning Level is 75%
You have been warned by the user Canada[420TreesHitter][NATO] Warning Level is 100%
***You are being temporarily logged out of International Community Messenger***
After this Iraq's computer and communication infrastructure will be isolated from the world community and Iraq will be vulnerable to further offensive operations.
Possible Threats: North Korea is constantly online and attempting to send the United States viruses through ICM. Technical specialists are usually able to persuade to the president not to open "Sexyjapaneselass_Vs_Playboy.scr". However, President Bush has already infected some 400 government computers with various e-mail and ICM viruses, and if alone may do so again. In the right North Korean hands this could compromise the security of the entire operation.
Estimated Casualties: Pretty much everyone in Iraq's tech-sector is expected to be summarily executed by Saddam if this plan works. Other than that no casualties are expected