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View Full Version : Me and the Mighty Lobstermen!


Bighoss
2004-08-26, 09:46 PM
Okay so I got my nonecommerical lobster license, bought 5 really cheap traps from my neighbor and set them out off the coast of this island where I saw a lot of other traps. I hauled 3 of them and got 5 keepers! All hail Hoss the mighty lobsterman!

On another note the real lobstermen are assholes! They cut one of my traps because some guy considered it his territory. Secondly I live on a road that goes right down to my towns marina as well as 2 private marinas and a tourist trap seafood shack. Anyway our town put a speed bump on the road to keep people from speeding but the lobstermen come roaring down this road at like 5 in the morning and honk there horns as loud as they can and for like 10 seconds. The other night my neighbor got pissed and jumped in his car followed this one guy who did it and told him he'd file a harrasment charge. BTW these lobsterman aren't like the stereotypical bear belly but ripped arms kind of guy. There like these 25 year old scrawny assholes who drive these huge ass dodge trucks. Its all quiet for the next 48 hours we think we've won the battle BUT THEN! the fuckers tack there huge ass truck drop the snow plow down and rip the fucking speed bump out! Well our neighbors were pissed we called the police but they said it would be a few days so my neighbor just went out and put it back in himself. By the way its mad out of this light metal and its pretty small, they install it every summer. So anyway I'm gonna sit out on watch I think and wait for the fucker that rips it out again memorize his license plate number and just call the cops. Problem is though if they figure out I have a nonecommerical license for fun and figure out what my buoy color is they're just gonna go cut them all!

Rbstr
2004-08-26, 09:49 PM
lol asses

JetRaiden
2004-08-26, 09:53 PM
:rolleyes:

I say slash their tires. that'll slow em down.

EineBeBoP
2004-08-26, 09:54 PM
Indeed. camp out one night with a spike strip and activate it every time you see a big truck :D

OneManArmy
2004-08-26, 10:11 PM
all hail the lobsterhoss!

seriously what they said, tire spikes work wonders for people like that.

Fragmatic
2004-08-26, 10:24 PM
Caltrops... harder to see and cause alot of damage :D

Jaged
2004-08-26, 10:24 PM
Explosives

AztecWarrior
2004-08-26, 10:27 PM
Key their cars. Specifically, scratch crude symbols and words into them.

Spee
2004-08-26, 10:31 PM
SMG spray from a vantage point.

Triggar
2004-08-26, 10:35 PM
Dress up like a security guard and conduct body cavity searches. With a lobster.

JetRaiden
2004-08-26, 10:41 PM
Dress up like a security guard and conduct body cavity searches. With a lobster.

:rofl: the winnah!

Bighoss
2004-08-27, 12:13 AM
I might just have to do that, in the name of the blue collar/white collar war!

Neon Apocalypse
2004-08-27, 12:15 AM
wait for them to come down and lay down some retractable spikes near the speed bump

pop their tires

Bighoss
2004-08-27, 12:23 AM
okay here is a really funny update. The lobstermen started driving AROUND the bump like over someones lawn so the town just put in these two signs right where the lobstermen were driving over. So I was getting back from my nightly 3 mile run and as I near my house I notice a lobsterman swerving to go over the lawn, SUDDENELY he notices the sign and swerves back but its too late, the sign rips off his fucking mirror and I think left a nice scratch on his truck. Oh man it was beautiful.

Ivan
2004-08-27, 12:26 AM
Awesome! Did his mirror come off? You should some how mount in out in you lawn or near the bump as if it were a decapitated heat of an enemy to demoralize further enemy attacks. :lol:

Bighoss
2004-08-27, 12:35 AM
I would but he stopped and grabbed it.

EineBeBoP
2004-08-27, 12:41 AM
Damn. Id tell you to stick it on a pole and stick the pole in the ground on your front lawn (then buy lighting so it'd be impossible to miss)


Edit:

http://dougukan.jp/dougu/dogu6-10/kiri4.jpg
+
http://users.fdn.com/~mwhitnel/images/boat/boat3.jpg = win! (just dont get caught!)

SDM
2004-08-27, 01:02 AM
Dress up like this and chase them with a running chainsaw.

http://www.millers-rentals.com/lobster.jpg

Zodiac
2004-08-27, 01:07 AM
Dress up like this and chase them with a running chainsaw.

http://www.millers-rentals.com/lobster.jpg :scared:

Bighoss's situation sounds like some kind of wacky independant film plot.

Glaynor
2004-08-27, 06:42 AM
:scared:

Bighoss's situation sounds like some kind of wacky independant film plot.

I was thinking the exact same thing. I can see it now, someone like Ray Romano or Jon Cusack as BigHoss and Juliette Lewis and that guy Bull from Night Court as some of the skanky lobstermen/lobsterwomen.