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View Full Version : My cousin is so friggin hot


Squeeky
2004-08-29, 01:12 AM
The first thing you need to know is that my cousin is hot. Amazingly hot. The kind of hot that makes you want to rip her pants off and fuck her in the middle of class, not caring about getting expelled. She's just that damn good. People tease me about her a lot, because she has a bit of a reputation for being a slut, and for good reason: She sucked off half the football team after the homecoming game. But she is hot nonetheless.

Anyway, she lives about 10 minutes away from me and she called me up and asked if I wanted to go see a movie. I told her no, I had to work on this english report (Poison Gas Warfare in WWI), but she begged until I gave in. Then she told me she wanted to rent a movie and come over instead of going to a theatre. I raised my eyebrows at this. Why would she want to come over here? Could it be she's really that big of a slut? Nooo, I thought. That couldn't be it...could it?

So she arrives at around 9 PM. My mom is with friends, so nobody is in the house. We pop some popcorn and get on the couch and start watching the movie (The Blues Brothers). After a while she complains that her legs are cramping up and wondered if she could lie down on the couch and put her head in my lap. My stomach did a barrel roll. I said Yes, no problem.

So she puts her head in my lap and continues to watch the movie. We're to the scene with the blind dude playing the keyboard when she starts to gently rub her head back and forth; jacking me off with her ear, if you will. It was an extremely good feeling, and I gave a little sigh as she did it. Then I was brought back to Earth as my cousin sat up and gave me a look of disgust. "What the hell is that?" she asked, pointing to my crotch. I had a raging hard-on from her head movements, and I could do nothing to hide it. I mumbled that I was sorry and that I should probably get to bed, but she grabbed me by the beltloop as I tried to get up.

She forced me back down and looked into my eyes with a sort of hungry look. "If you're attracted to me, all you needed to do was tell me..." and with that she unzipped my pants and had them around my knees before you could say Snoochie Boochies. I feebley tried to resist, but my protests faded into nothingness as she pulled my wang (I won't lie, 5.8 inces) out of my boxers. I closed my eyes and groaned with pleasure. As I looked down, I saw a sight I will never forget for the rest of my life.

She lowered her head to it, pulled off her mask, and spit acid all over my wang.

FATALITY. :groovy:

Octavian
2004-08-29, 01:15 AM
Oh damn, I thought it was true. :(

Mag
2004-08-29, 01:16 AM
...

Corrosion
2004-08-29, 01:16 AM
O.o

Mango
2004-08-29, 01:16 AM
:huh: :lol: :rofl: :rofl:

Squeeky
2004-08-29, 01:17 AM
O.o
...

I'd buy you :doh:'s a sense of humor, but i'm flat broke.

CassH
2004-08-29, 01:19 AM
damn made me keep reading lol.

FearTheAtlas
2004-08-29, 01:21 AM
:rofl:

Mag
2004-08-29, 01:22 AM
Eh, not my kind of humor.

Hezzy
2004-08-29, 01:24 AM
:rofl:

Derfud
2004-08-29, 01:30 AM
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

ObnoxiousFrog
2004-08-29, 01:33 AM
Bravo Squeeky, our combined love of incest and oral sex has brought as all into a fine Ackbar of a trap.

Funny though, and in classic Squeeky prose.

9.half/10

Terran Sniper
2004-08-29, 01:45 AM
Squeek, next time, keep your sexual fantasies to yourself, please. I mean, the acid thing...thats just not right

Everay
2004-08-29, 02:15 AM
umm, if your cousin is really that hawt, and not part of the story, pics.

EarlyDawn
2004-08-29, 02:20 AM
Bravo Squeeky, our combined love of incest and oral sex has brought as all into a fine Ackbar of a trap.

Funny though, and in classic Squeeky prose.

9.half/10Truth. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Dharkbayne
2004-08-29, 02:28 AM
Bravo Squeeky, our combined love of incest and oral sex has brought as all into a fine Ackbar of a trap.

Funny though, and in classic Squeeky prose.

9.half/10

QFT

LimpBIT
2004-08-29, 02:31 AM
you really had me going. I give you props for that. Thanks for that 2 miniutes of entertainment

Squeeky
2004-08-29, 03:13 AM
It should be noted that i didnt write this. It's from another forum, i just modified it a bit :)

HawkEye
2004-08-29, 04:35 AM
pics: :D

Lonehunter
2004-08-29, 05:00 AM
:rofl::lol::rofl::lol:
:lol::rofl::lol::rofl:

WOW! I was SO PREPARED to flame the hell out of you for bangin your cousin but no, you had to ruin it, god damn you squeeky.

Onizuka-GTO
2004-08-29, 06:14 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Good one squeeky.

How come it reminds me of Alien VS Predator?

:lol:

Lonehunter
2004-08-29, 06:48 AM
WTF? were you banging your cousin while the movie was playing or something?

Triggar
2004-08-29, 09:24 AM
I'm so glad you were kidding, I was gonna be all like:

http://students.db.erau.edu/~davis812/img/OHNO.jpg

AztecWarrior
2004-08-29, 10:24 AM
I was about to launch into some rant along the lines of "You idiot, you just fucked your cousin. What are you, from Arkansas?".

ViperGTS
2004-08-29, 10:59 AM
:lol: Ahahahahahaha :lol:

Hydralisk
2004-08-29, 02:54 PM
Oh no you di'int!

Doop
2004-08-29, 03:19 PM
Prepare for assimi-fucking-lation.

DaShiznit
2004-08-29, 03:25 PM
At first, I was all like "Holy shit, you are SOOOO banned for posting porn." and then I was all like "You're getting blown by your cousin? Sick!" And then I was all like "Oh no you di'nt." And you was all like "Yeah. I didn't." And then I was like "Oh...sorry."

I want pics. Is the first part true? (the whole hummers for the football team part?)

martyr
2004-08-29, 03:27 PM
no, dude, it's not real.

it's like one of them "rpg" things, except with more herpes.

Hydralisk
2004-08-29, 03:50 PM
no, dude, it's not real.

it's like one of them "rpg" things, except with more herpes.
lollergots! :rofl:

scarpas
2004-08-29, 04:04 PM
umm, if your cousin is really that hawt, and not part of the story, pics.


/agreed

Everay
2004-08-29, 04:22 PM
i dont care if its not talking about your cousin now, i want pix of your FEMALE cousin anyways.

Ait'al
2004-08-29, 05:04 PM
I second that!

Hamma
2004-08-29, 05:26 PM
This thread sucks.

Doop
2004-08-29, 05:27 PM
Hamma is preparing for assimilation.

GonePostal
2004-08-29, 05:54 PM
Bravo Squeeky, our combined love of incest and oral sex has brought as all into a fine Ackbar of a trap.

Funny though, and in classic Squeeky prose.

9.half/10
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

fucked up but....ye thats just fucked up :lol:

starbum
2004-08-29, 06:41 PM
Jesus H. Christ, I have never laughed so hard! rofl

I seriously almost choked to death on the coke I was drinking while reading that

Squeeky
2004-08-29, 06:55 PM
This thread sucks.

:tear:

JetRaiden
2004-08-29, 07:41 PM
:doh: Am I missing something?

Ait'al
2004-08-29, 07:44 PM
The thread sucks cause his cousin did! 8) More sucking!!! in the perverbial sence that is.

And it was a very deep and philisophical statement by hamma!! :lol:

Dharkbayne
2004-08-29, 07:46 PM
The thread sucks cause his cousin did! 8) More sucking!!! in the perverbial sence that is.

And it was a very deep and philisophical statement by hamma!! :lol:

Every time you post, a little bit of me dies inside. :doh:

JetRaiden
2004-08-29, 07:47 PM
Every time you post, a little bit of me dies inside. :doh:
:rofl:

Ait'al
2004-08-29, 07:48 PM
Thats why im here! Though originally i was aiming for hamma but then he seemed to have stuck you in front of me. Or left you there. 8\

Ghandi90
2004-08-29, 07:50 PM
Hi-Larious

Edit:Wtf? Whats wrong with my sig?

Dharkbayne
2004-08-29, 07:52 PM
Thats why im here! Though originally i was aiming for hamma but then he seemed to have stuck you in front of me. Or left you there. 8\
:bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang: :bang:

Everay
2004-08-29, 07:59 PM
good to see you back aital, i dont remember if you annoyed me or made me laugh at you and whomever you were fighting with.

AztecWarrior
2004-08-29, 08:42 PM
This thread sucks.
A four-page Hot Topic (no pun intended) full of roffles? I think not.

MrComando
2004-08-30, 03:58 PM
I believed your story until I saw your sig!
:lol: :rofl: :D :huh: pics:

Neon Apocalypse
2004-08-30, 10:44 PM
i almost thought that was true

but its kinda wrong


well would you do it squeeks?

Doop
2004-08-30, 10:54 PM
Poll:

If that happened, would you go along with it?

JetRaiden
2004-08-30, 10:55 PM
Poll:

If that happened, would you go along with it?

Im gonna say no to protect my dignity.

AztecWarrior
2004-08-30, 10:55 PM
Hell no.

Neon Apocalypse
2004-08-30, 10:58 PM
i would stop it before it started

Doop
2004-08-30, 10:58 PM
-_-

AztecWarrior
2004-08-30, 10:59 PM
Poll done.

Sputty
2004-08-30, 11:05 PM
WTF, I knew you were lying the moment you said your penis was 5.8 inches
Your penis is 18 inches long, or 3 inches long, depending on how many time you've been aroused in the month. Every odd time it's 3 inches