Scariest experience of my life. [Archive]

oddfish

2004-09-30, 03:35 PM

I get a call at 11:30 (about) three nights ago from a frantic Brittany.

Why is she frantic? She's officially four days late. Yeah. Late. No period. None. Late.

So, today made a solid week. I was trying to tell myself that we'd been careful, that we'd been safe. She's on the pill, she takes it religiously. We should be fine, right?

So, yeah. She's called everyday just to talk to me and everyday I've asked if she'd started her period. Everyday she said "no."

Needless to say, we were concerned. I'm certainly not ready to be anyone's father. Neither is she. I was worried.

So, I called her when she was done with class today and I asked again. She said that she started this morning. I acted like I knew we were fine all along, but I'm so full of shit. I was worried. I'd been with other girls that had been late while they were with me, but they were a couple days late and that was that. This was a week. Yeah. Scary shit. If anything'll make you contemplate abstinance it's the pregnancy scare. Good thing I'm stubborn. :D

ObnoxiousFrog

2004-09-30, 03:36 PM

Man, I can't believe you don't get a free baby. I was gonna email you my recipe too.

Doop

2004-09-30, 03:45 PM

/me shivers.

I Hate Pants

2004-09-30, 03:49 PM

This is like the time last summer I found out the condom I used was broken. My buddy over heard and told my girl friend. Altohugh she already had her period. She called my and told me she thinks she was pregnant. Ofcourse she was kidding.

Although I nearly broke down the second she told me that. I was soo pissed with her. But I couldn't stay angry at her for very long. :D

ViperGTS

2004-09-30, 03:50 PM

wow.

I Hate Pants

2004-09-30, 03:52 PM

wow.
Viper. Have you ever tried posting more than a single word?

MattxMosh

2004-09-30, 03:59 PM

That shit isn't fun, I swear it happens to me like once every few months.

I think I should pack a bag, just in case i gotta run.

Navaron

2004-09-30, 04:01 PM

Sounds like to me you should all shoot yourselves now and quit watering down the gene pool.

Zodiac

2004-09-30, 04:06 PM

:lol:

Triggar

2004-09-30, 04:11 PM

What's the big deal?

Throw her down a flight of stairs or two, it would have sorted itself out.

Of course I'm kidding - I'm glad you were fine in the end.

starbum

2004-09-30, 04:13 PM

Yeah... I feel for you man. I've been in that kind of situation before. But it wasnt a week -- it was almost a month and a half. Needless to say we did the test and it was thankfully negative. Whew. I cant even begin to explain *that* kind of panic, expecially waiting nearby awaiting the results. Its the longest few minutes a guy can experience; at least my age.

MrPaul

2004-09-30, 04:17 PM

I once dated someone with an irregular cycle. Every time she was a week or two longer than "normal" I started to worry.. Not fun.

JetRaiden

2004-09-30, 04:39 PM

:eek: oh man, glad everythings find oddy, :hug: thats probably the scariest thing a guy can go through.

Liquidtide

2004-09-30, 04:41 PM

Step 1) Wrap it
Step 2) if not wrapped Pull It Out!
Step 3) if you have no control over that, do it in the pooper.

~Tide

ObnoxiousFrog

2004-09-30, 05:04 PM

I made a picture of something you could face far worse than pregnacy:

http://img1.uploadimages.net/831403screenblurmeanspain.jpg

Mr1337Duck

2004-09-30, 05:16 PM

ObFrog for teh win.

Yeah, that's gotta be scary as hell. Good thing she wasn't pregnant.

oddfish

2004-09-30, 05:35 PM

i was with a few girls with irregular cycles. that's some scary shit when you get a call a month after you broke up with 'em and they're saying they're almost three weeks late and they're worried. ... scary.. ass.. shit.

... sometimes i wonder, with as many girls as i've been with for just one night if perhaps there aren't any little danny's running around out there.. hmmmm.. perhaps i'll never know.

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 06:14 PM

Well since you are having sex you can handle having kids.

Zodiac

2004-09-30, 06:26 PM

Well since you are having sex you can handle having kids.That's sarcasim right?

oddfish

2004-09-30, 06:28 PM

Well since you are having sex you can handle having kids.

see, okay.. i could HANDLE having kids. the problem is, i can't provide them with the environment i'd like to provide them with. I want to be established and be stable financially before i have any kids. I don't want to have to struggle because I never want my kids to have to deal with that. Hence, i'm not prepared to have kids. I could have them, and I'd be a great father (believe it or not) but I just couldn't give them all I want to give them right now. so, no, kids = not a good thing, right now.

it's weird to look at it that way, but it's true.

Triggar

2004-09-30, 06:30 PM

Sometimes when I throw up, I tell Martyr it's morning sickness just to freak him out.

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 06:30 PM

Same for me, the difference is I'm not living out of my pants.

EDIT: Directed at odd.

Dharkbayne

2004-09-30, 06:33 PM

Double bag. Problem solved.

*does that "problem solved" hand thingie*

oddfish

2004-09-30, 07:03 PM

Double bag. Problem solved.

*does that "problem solved" hand thingie*

no

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 07:06 PM

Pulling out isn't guaranteed...whether you do it right or not.

JetRaiden

2004-09-30, 07:06 PM

Pulling out isn't guaranteed...whether you do it right or not.

95% effective :thumbsup:

oddfish

2004-09-30, 07:09 PM

Pulling out isn't guaranteed...whether you do it right or not.

duh, sobekus. i know i'm taking risks, but that's the fun of it, bud! :D these big ass freaky scares i get every once in a while probably aren't worth it, but then i think of how great the female body is and it reminds me of why I am the way I am ;)

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 07:09 PM

Birth control is still more effective.

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 07:11 PM

I love the female body, and I am pretty damn horney. Yet I don't feel the need to go out and mate with any atm.

Tempting as hell though, but I can wait till the right one comes along.

ViperGTS

2004-09-30, 07:14 PM

Eh...Im to cool to post words. One is all you get!
:D

oddfish

2004-09-30, 07:14 PM

i hear ya. we're different, you and I, sobekus. it happens. ;)

i dunno.. to me, there's nothing better than waking up next to a really beautiful girl with her hair spread across your pillow and the sheets pulled up and one arm around you... i love it..

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 07:15 PM

Well sex is great, but once you have it while in love, it just isn't as good any other way.

JetRaiden

2004-09-30, 07:16 PM

I love the female body, and I am pretty damn horney. Yet I don't feel the need to go out and mate with any atm.

Tempting as hell though, but I can wait till the right one comes along.
:doh:

I agree though.

birth control=win

Use it ladies.

oddfish

2004-09-30, 07:19 PM

Well sex is great, but once you have it while in love, it just isn't as good any other way.

again, you and i disagree..

i consider sex in a lot less theatrical light. I think it's an activity that two people do because they enjoy it with each other. The love thing makes the sex different, not better, not worse. Different.

one of the best experiences ever was with a girl who i despised and who despised me eqaully. we got in a political argument whilst we were drunk and ended up in my room. it was one of the better sexual experiences of my life. nothing like a little competition :D :D

JetRaiden

2004-09-30, 07:21 PM

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oddfish, I worship you.

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 07:22 PM

Heh. I'm prolly just trying to justify why I haven't been laid lately.

JetRaiden

2004-09-30, 07:24 PM

Heh. I'm prolly just trying to justify why I haven't been laid lately.

:lol: thats ok man. :hug:

ObnoxiousFrog

2004-09-30, 07:25 PM

How many lights are there?

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 07:26 PM

It's not natural for a Scorpio to go this long. And fapping is just not enough, even 3 or 4 times a day.

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 07:26 PM

How many lights are there?
4

Triggar

2004-09-30, 07:28 PM

Take the SDM approach to dating:

Hookers and ice cream.

Baneblade

2004-09-30, 07:28 PM

Ha. Ice cream would melt long before I finished and so would the hooker, and I can't afford the security deposit anyhow.

Indecisive

2004-09-30, 07:45 PM

My personal opinon is that if you cant provide a healthy environment for kids, then you shouldnt be fucking.

Of course, I was raised as a christian.

Dharkbayne

2004-09-30, 07:45 PM

Ha. Ice cream would melt long before I finished and so would the hooker, and I can't afford the security deposit anyhow.

Yes, constant fappage has made your penis become calloused and numb, killing all the nerve endings, thus, it is impossible for you to "finish".

Or "start".

Everay

2004-09-30, 08:08 PM

i prefer the Bayne approach to dating, it involves a van, a rag, panty hoes mask, and cloriphorm.

oddfish

2004-09-30, 08:15 PM

It's not natural for a Scorpio to go this long. And fapping is just not enough, even 3 or 4 times a day.

I'm a capricorn. what should my sexual tendencies be? :D

ObnoxiousFrog

2004-09-30, 08:16 PM

i prefer the Bayne approach to dating, it involves a van, a rag, panty hoes mask, and cloriphorm.

Spelling not required.

Everay

2004-09-30, 08:19 PM

when has it been?

oddfish

2004-09-30, 08:19 PM

Spelling not required.
:nazi:

Neon Apocalypse

2004-09-30, 08:41 PM

you aren't using saran wrap and a rubber band are you?

MrShooter

2004-09-30, 09:56 PM

Sometimes when I throw up, I tell Martyr it's morning sickness just to freak him out.
:doh:

Derfud

2004-09-30, 10:09 PM

Oh man, I cant stop laughing :rofl:

AztecWarrior

2004-09-30, 11:19 PM

My personal opinon is that if you cant provide a healthy environment for kids, then you shouldnt be fucking.

Of course, I was raised as a christian.
Agreed.

SDM

2004-10-01, 02:50 AM

Just fuck sheep, God made sheep genetically incompatible so we could fuck them. Just get some knee high, rubber boots. Drop thier hind legs in there, grab a handfull of wool and go to town. No worries.