Roommates suck [rant]

[oddfish]

Some of you who have been or are in college may understand this, others, this is what to look out for:

My Roommate:
He's really quiet, boring, oafish, and sexuall frustrated. Also, I got stuck with a fucking sophomore who transferred and is TERRIFIED of college life (i'm a third year, so wtf?)

He never wants to go out, except with his one friend and all they do is play poker and go to fucking publix and shit. They're about as exciting as oatmeal. My Roommate's been to one party. One. Almost six weeks of school and he's been to one party. Now, that's fine. If he doesn't like to party, okay. BUT, the least he could do is just chill with some of my people. They're all really cordial. Albeit they're all pretty diverse and all of them love to drink, but c'mon! The least he could do is be social.

Anyways. I've tried to assimilate him into our group (it's about 30+ people.. that may intimidate him, i dunno) and I've tried to hook the guy up, but his attitude is like "people repellant." URGH!

So, finally, two weeks ago I got tired of it and I started this shit:

when he's working on his computer, i find the most crumbly food i can find, like crumb cake or a muffin or something and eat it right over his shoulder so it drops on him and his keyboard, heh heh heh. i left a half eaten Nutter Butter cookie on his bed, hahahaha. I hide his ladder that he uses to get up to his bed (it's lofted, it's not bunked with mine)

why? because the first two weeks this fucker was a complete asshole. I told him that i've got over 5000 dollars worth of computer shit in the room and that i wanted the door closed and locked when he wasn't going to be in the room. If he was just running down the hall to get a drink or something, okay, bolt it so it stays open or prop it open, if he runs to the bathroom? Lock it. Leaving: LOCK IT. He never fucking did. He also bitches about EVERYTHING and sometimes he uses my scanner/printer without asking me. He's really clumsy and almost broke my art tablet with his cell phone. That would've been $500 right there, down the tubes.

so now he rants to me hard-core today after i come back from playing football with some of my friends out in the little lacrosse field they have set up. He comes in the room with his friend (who calls him fatass and retard and shit, right to his face like: c'mon, retard, we're going to publix and shit like that) and he starts bitching at me about how he can't stand me having room parties all the time and always having girls in the room and being up all night and drinking and having people over all the time. he bitches about how he has to study (though I never have people in here during the week, except thursday night WTF?) and how he never seems to be able to use the room for himself or to be by himself (even though i'm out all the time, kid probably just wants fapping time) he rants about how i play my music too loud and about how the fridge never has room for his stuff (even though all i have in there are three Nalgene bottles cuz i don't keep food in the room except some fruit) and then he complains some more and finally says that he's thinking about getting a room change. ...

It's funny, the kid's best friend is a complete jerk and I've tried my ass off to be nice to the kid until i finally gave up. He's just not worth the effort and he's lazy anyways. The kid never cleans the room up, his side is a mess and it's embarrassing having people in here because of it, so i always have to clean his shit up before i invite people over. It drives me up a wall.

Yeah, roommate's suck, i'm done ranting. You can flame me if you want, cuz maybe i'm not seeing both sides of things. That's why i posted here, to get your guys' input on the situation.

Discuss

[OfaLoaf]

Get a room change. Fiberglass ground into bedsheets also works.

[Dharkbayne]

Masturbate onto his pillow.


Problem solved.

[oddfish]

Get a room change. Fiberglass ground into bedsheets also works.

i'm not getting a fucking room change. i like this room. it's right in the middle of the hall facing out to the front courtyard so i get the sunset. Plus, like i said, middle of the hall, it's like the dorm party vortex! MUAHAHAHA.. i love it. no room change for me. he can get one if he wants. i've staked my claim on this land. i have the deeds. i fought the prospector fair and square for them.

[Spee]

Sugar into his gas tank.

[JetRaiden]

I go to boarding school, even though Im still in 11th grade, I have similar problems. luckily, I have the room to myself, so Im all good. :cool:

seriously though, if you tried to be nice to the kid, and hes just gonna bitch about it, let him get a room change. you have no reason to care about what he does.

[Doop]

Seram-wrap on his toilet seat.

[Triggar]

Don't get a room change; speaking from experience, it's a gamble as to what you'd get next. I even met the girl I was moving in with first - I slept MAYBE three hours a night until the end of the semester.

Ignore your roommate. Don't try and be his friend, because that complicates shit. If he doesn't lock the door, tell the RA. Or else misplace something of his when he leaves, see how he likes it.

And if all else fails, find somewhere else to sleep. It drove my last on-campus roommate to attempt suicide, I shit you not.

[KarlMarxist]

Bottle-Rocket aimed at his sleeping Body. Works everytime. Might be a little messy though.

[Smaug]

Aww, I'd be your roomate oddfish.

[oddfish]

Aww, I'd be your roomate oddfish.

you'd have the best college experience EVAR :love: i'm a kick ass roommate.
there's so many people on my floor who want to be my roommate when he leaves, but i dunno. i'm just worried about what i'm gonna get when he leaves. He's dead set on getting a room change now. Fuck him, i don't even care. He's an asshole. I've done everything in my power to be his buddy and try to get him into the swing of things but he's just a tool. I don't get it.

Anyways, i dunno. I can't figure his ass out. I only have tons of people in the room when we pregame on thursdays and fridays before we go out. Saturdays we go to football games when they're home games and then party at keggers and shit. It's great. Yeah, i have seven and eight people in the room and then so many others milling in and out but still. I mean, high traffic, yeah, but i keep the room clean and everything is cool, i just don't get it. All my friends are really cool, so i can't figure out what bugs him so much. *sigh* the whole "having girls here all the time" thing is bullshit too. Yeah, they're here on weekends because of the parties, and sometimes during the week to study or do whatever else or just talk :D. Otherwise, no, no girls here. So WTF? He's just a big bitch.

ANd this shit with him never cleaning his side of the room has got to go. It's like night and day. My side is fucking immaculate, his side looks like it was in the middle of fucking hurricane Ivan. Drives me nuts. *sigh* oh well. nothing i can do, obviously. not that i really care at this point. whole room to myself now. muahahaha. though, that's not entirely true since my friends roll by here all the time to play Madden and Halo and Tiger Woods and all that shit. it's fucked up. i invited him to all out shit, whenever we'd go out. i've been nothing but nice to this kid (up until two weeks ago) and now he's being a tool. i guess you just can't be everyone's friend. he just needs to room with someone as boring as he is.

[Bighoss]

tie him all up to the bed at night and sit on his chest, it leaves like no marks and a lot of people thought it was... I mean think its of natural causes

[JetRaiden]

do what they did in Full Metal Jacket and take oranges and put them in socks, pull his covers down really hard when hes sleeping so he cant move, and then beat him senseless.

[oddfish]

do what they did in Full Metal Jacket and take oranges and put them in socks, pull his covers down really hard when hes sleeping so he cant move, and then beat him senseless.

they used their bars of soap. and no, i'm not going to hurt the fucker.. he's obviously enough of a loser.

[Sputty]

do what they did in Full Metal Jacket and take oranges and put them in socks, pull his covers down really hard when hes sleeping so he cant move, and then beat him senseless.
...
Did you even watch past that part of the movie, you ignoramus?

[JetRaiden]

...
Did you even watch past that part of the movie, you ignoramus?

yea, but it was a while ago.

[oddfish]

he's not sleeping here tonight. i'm gonna have my friend sleep in his bed so if he comes back he'll be confused and leave. this roommate sucks a penix

[Dharkbayne]

do what they did in Full Metal Jacket and take oranges and put them in socks, pull his covers down really hard when hes sleeping so he cant move, and then beat him senseless.

Then he takes his rifle and shoots you in the chest, then commits suicide. :doh:

[JetRaiden]

Then he takes his rifle and shoots you in the chest, then commits suicide. :doh:

yea I know, but oddfish's roommate doesnt have an M14. at least I dont think so....

[Everay]

R lee didnt die, he was resurrected as the hare in Star Fox.

[Triggar]

Oddfish, where do you go to college?

[KarlMarxist]

Peppy Hare you mean.

Peppy Hare, Age 41.
Height 1.70 SM
Weight 71.03 SK

Peppy is the oldest member of Star Fox and also the most experienced. He declined the team leader position and insisted that Fox take it. Peppy flew with the original Star Fox team with James McCloud and Pigma Dangar. Peppy has watched over Fox since he was a young pup to a skilled pilot. He often knows what to do in a tight situations and will give advice when needed. Also, his experience helps him identify the weak points of enemies, this makes Peppy a necessity to the team.

http://arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/characters/_peppy2_small.gif

Get your starfox right. Peppy is the most respectable member of the team. Therefore he deserves more credit.

[Setari]

Peppy Hare you mean.

Peppy Hare, Age 41.
Height 1.70 SM
Weight 71.03 SK



http://arwing.host.sk/gallery/albums/sf64/characters/_peppy2_small.gif

Get your starfox right. Peppy is the most respectable member of the team. Therefore he deserves more credit.
wait no slappy or whoever sucks.

[Zodiac]

:boohoo:

edit: Peppy rox my sox. :rock:

[Dharkbayne]

DO A BARREL ROLL! (Press L or R Twice!)

[oddfish]

yea I know, but oddfish's roommate doesnt have an M14. at least I dont think so....

i hope he doesn't, because i've invited about seven people into the room to play Halo tonight and we're NOT going to sleep because no one has class until ten or later tomorrow morning. :D :D

[VincentGuille]

jello....lots and lots of jello....u figure out what to do with it.

[Dharkbayne]

I'm telling you, you can't go wrong with pillow masturbation.


Double points if you fap onto his pillow while he's sleeping on it.

[Ouroboros]

Remind me to never sleep anywhere near your Dhark.

[Dharkbayne]

Remind me to never sleep anywhere near your Dhark.

I am so tracing your IP, finding your address, taking a taxi or something over, and masturbating onto your pillow.

Ouro:
You will do exactly that, but instead of me, go to Dhark.

[martyr]

it is my duty to point out that that was an m-1 garand, not an m-14.

also, just encourage him to get a room change. then find a friend who's having similar problems and ask them to be your roommate.

worked great for meh

[JetRaiden]

it is my duty to point out that that was an m-1 garand, not an m-14.

also, just encourage him to get a room change. then find a friend who's having similar problems and ask them to be your roommate.

worked great for meh

no way. it was definately an M14.

[oddfish]

it is my duty to point out that that was an m-1 garand, not an m-14.

also, just encourage him to get a room change. then find a friend who's having similar problems and ask them to be your roommate.

worked great for meh

my old roommate was great. he and I decked our room out in all kinds of cool shit. but, since he transferred to some little arty farty college in souther florida i've had two roommates. This one, and the one before him who was never ever here so we never really saw each other anyways. This new roommate sucks. I have a neon light that says: The Love Shack that I wanted to hang in our room but he said that it offended him. I put it up anyway but it's only on when i'm having parties and shit. It's a great light. WTF? Plus he doesn't like my posters. I have three. One of Johnny Depp playing the piano, one of Milla Jovovich, and one of Gina Gershon. I also have a wall mural of Once Upon A Time In Mexico but there's no room for it right now. The bastard hates the posters with Milla and Gina. Maybe he's gay and he's sexually frustrated... hmmm..

[Everay]

i was gonna say it was a M-1 Garand because a M-14 was a rifle they used out in the field, but im pretty sure that he loaded the M-14 through a Magazine at the bottom and not the top of the rifle.

[martyr]

good point, i think remember that... but he clearly says it's 7.62

[Gigabein]

my old roommate was great. he and I decked our room out in all kinds of cool shit. but, since he transferred to some little arty farty college in souther florida i've had two roommates. This one, and the one before him who was never ever here so we never really saw each other anyways. This new roommate sucks. I have a neon light that says: The Love Shack that I wanted to hang in our room but he said that it offended him. I put it up anyway but it's only on when i'm having parties and shit. It's a great light. WTF? Plus he doesn't like my posters. I have three. One of Johnny Depp playing the piano, one of Milla Jovovich, and one of Gina Gershon. I also have a wall mural of Once Upon A Time In Mexico but there's no room for it right now. The bastard hates the posters with Milla and Gina. Maybe he's gay and he's sexually frustrated... hmmm..

Perhaps he's closet-Christian and you intimidate him too much to say anything? oddfish, buddy... no offense, but it sounds like you're not entirely blameless. This may sound strange to you, but not everyone is a socialite and comfortable being around large groups of people. And it sounds like you have lots and lots of people around 4 days out of the week. Just remember that loners need their space especially when it's in their own home.

[Dharkbayne]

good point, i think remember that... but he clearly says it's 7.62

Seven-Six-Two millimeter, fuuuul metal jacket! *crazyeyes*



BOOM!


He loads it from the bottom.

[oddfish]

Perhaps he's closet-Christian and you intimidate him too much to say anything? oddfish, buddy... no offense, but it sounds like you're not entirely blameless. This may sound strange to you, but not everyone is a socialite and comfortable being around large groups of people. And it sounds like you have lots and lots of people around 4 days out of the week. Just remember that loners need their space especially when it's in their own home.

Gig, the thing is, i'm never in the room. The only time I have people here is Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday. The rest of the time my room attendees are sporadic at best. The kid has the room to himself constantly. Also, the nights i mentioned, are not always the same. Thursday I may have NO one to the room. Same goes with any of the other days, depending on whether or not we pregame here or elsewhere. So, in truth, any given week I may have lots of people in the room 2 or 3 days at the most. That means he gets his quiet time for the better half of a week. I'm not an inconsiderate prick, for christ's sake. I give the kid as much fucking space as possible. But I'm not going to diminish my college experience so that he can have quiet time. I'm having fun. If he doesn't like it he can leave, which he's doing. That's the beauty of the room-change option. I just think it's bullshit that he came storming into the room on a some kind of bitch-fest telling me off like I'm some kind of asshole. I just said to him after he finished his explosion that: "I was more than nice to you. I asked you if you wanted to go out with me and my friends all the time and you always said no. I tried to give you your space and let you have quiet time and what not. I cleaned up after your messy ass on numerous occasions. Yet, you somehow feel that you have the right to bitch at me. Well, sorry, but I'm not the asshole here and you can get a fucking room change all damn day if you want."

[Dharkbayne]

Wasn't it your room first, and he moved into it, anyways?


BTW, what the fuck is publix.

[oddfish]

Wasn't it your room first, and he moved into it, anyways?


BTW, what the fuck is publix.

Publix is a supermarket type deal down here in the peninsula. And, no, it was our room at the same time. You get a new room every semester and, unless you specify, a new roommate every semester.

[NoSurrender]

why not put some very potent psychoactive drugs in his food, drive him down to mexico and ditch him a seedy motel bathroom with ice.

[Gigabein]

Gig, the thing is, i'm never in the room. The only time I have people here is Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday. The rest of the time my room attendees are sporadic at best. The kid has the room to himself constantly. Also, the nights i mentioned, are not always the same. Thursday I may have NO one to the room. Same goes with any of the other days, depending on whether or not we pregame here or elsewhere. So, in truth, any given week I may have lots of people in the room 2 or 3 days at the most. That means he gets his quiet time for the better half of a week. I'm not an inconsiderate prick, for christ's sake. I give the kid as much fucking space as possible. But I'm not going to diminish my college experience so that he can have quiet time. I'm having fun. If he doesn't like it he can leave, which he's doing. That's the beauty of the room-change option. I just think it's bullshit that he came storming into the room on a some kind of bitch-fest telling me off like I'm some kind of asshole. I just said to him after he finished his explosion that: "I was more than nice to you. I asked you if you wanted to go out with me and my friends all the time and you always said no. I tried to give you your space and let you have quiet time and what not. I cleaned up after your messy ass on numerous occasions. Yet, you somehow feel that you have the right to bitch at me. Well, sorry, but I'm not the asshole here and you can get a fucking room change all damn day if you want."

Fair enough. He really handled it poorly. I've had roommate problems before, and the way I've dealt with it is asking them to talk. Civil discourse ensued, compromises reached, and everyone felt better afterwards. A little tip for you, since you seem like a really confident guy, is to be proactive whenever you sense tension. Express your good intentions and that you mean well, then ask them what's bothering them. If they come back later bitching at you... hey, you tried to figure it out and they have no one but their self to blame.

[oddfish]

Fair enough. He really handled it poorly. I've had roommate problems before, and the way I've dealt with it is asking them to talk. Civil discourse ensued, compromises reached, and everyone felt better afterwards. A little tip for you, since you seem like a really confident guy, is to be proactive whenever you sense tension. Express your good intentions and that you mean well, then ask them what's bothering them. If they come back later bitching at you... hey, you tried to figure it out and they have no one but their self to blame.

i was very proactive. i did my best to try to include him in any little get-togethers and parties I and my friends ventured into. Also, I asked him on numerous occasions what was wrong, and why he never wanted to go out. He never really gave me a straight answer. It got to the point where no matter what efforts I made to try to appease him or include him he always shot 'em down. Like he had no desire to get along with ANYone.

[AztecWarrior]

Detonate a cherry bomb in the bathroom while he's in the shower.

[Mango]

Maybe next semester you should specify someone you know.

[oddfish]

Maybe next semester you should specify someone you know.
that's what i'm going to do. my friend Puma wants to move in with me.

[Wraithlord]

puma?

pumaMAN!!??!

http://www.geocities.com/theyellowthing/pumaman.jpg

[AztecWarrior]

BTW, what the fuck is publix.
HAHAHHAAHAHA...erm...cough.

A supermarket:

http://www.optimo-ag.ch/images/Publix_600.jpg

Of course, being from the Mid-West, I can pull a fast one on Dixies down here: Publix is like Kroger's.

[Dharkbayne]

Of course, being from the Mid-West, I can pull a fast one on Dixies down here: Publix is like Kroger's.

?

Who lives in the midwest?

[KarlMarxist]

The bastard hates the posters with Milla and Gina. Maybe he's gay and he's sexually frustrated... hmmm..

Wouldn't that Worry you in the slightest?

[Spee]

?

Who lives in the midwest?


Me, you slut.

*Does notice he's being set up for insult...*

Thanks, Aztec. I was wondering WTF a Publix is.

[AztecWarrior]

?

Who lives in the midwest?
I did: Michigan is lumped together with states like North Dakota.

[oddfish]

Wouldn't that Worry you in the slightest?

nah. if he came anywhere near my ass i'd tear out his intestines and strangle him with them.

[Kuraltai]

?

Who lives in the midwest?I'm guessing there are a few of us .. :p

/on topic

Any luck with the dweeb roomie? Has he moved on yet?