Need Some Advice... Am I to Blame?

[Kikinchikin]

I usually find it kinda odd when people post their real life problems on message boards, but I really need some support and advice for this. Anyway here's the story, it may be incomplete, since it's late, but here goes:

I work for an improv comedy troupe (like whose line is it anyway?). If you aren't familiar with improv, then you'll have a hard time understanding what happened. Anyway, me and this guy, Rob, who I have known for about 5 months, were doing a scene together. Well the game we were playing involved changing your response when the caller (referee whatever) says so. To cut to the chase, for my third response (supposed to be way out in left field), I slapped him in the face. Now I have done this before, (it's sort of my failsafe when I'm thinking slow, always gets a good laugh) to other guys and they have done nothing. They've taken it into context and just kept going, laughing it off. But as soon as I slapped him, I turned around and began saying something, I don't remember what, because at that point, I felt a leg kick me in the back (middle of the spine) and I collapsed. I was on the ground for about 20 or 30 seconds, hurting pretty bad. I eventually recovered myself and got up and wondered what the fuck just happened. Well the guy apparently did a sort of roundhouse on me, how hard I don't know. I also don't know for sure if he did it because he was pissed at me or if it was supposed to be stage fighting that went wrong. Well my boss gets kinda mad at him not really in particular though and just starts saying how he can't have people kicking others on his stage. Apparently Rob thought I hit him pretty hard. After my boss finished talking, we had a break. Rob and I kinda talked to each other about what just happened. He said something like "I don't know what I was thinking" or something and also told me that you could go deaf from a slap to the face/ear area. Anyway we both apologized, and I figured we were at least ok, if not a bit shaky, but cool nonetheless.

So I get home tonight and I'm working on a paper, and my phone rings. It's my boss and he wants to talk to my dad. So I put him on. My dad hangs up and tells me that Rob was fired because of the incident today. And so now I feel like absolute shit and feel guilty. I'm just so worried that people are going to hate me now because of what happened. My parents and some friends both said that I didn't do anything to warrant him kicking me hard enough to knock me down, and that it's not my fault. I just want to know what you guys think and if anything similar has ever happened to you. And please don't bother replying if you are just gonna flame me or shit like that. I seriously feel like shit now and don't know what to do.

[AztecWarrior]

You obviously didn't mean to hit him hard, if at all. It could be his fault. Talk to the boss, try to work it out.

[JetRaiden]

tape of the incident and get over it. :p

[Pilgrim]

You are only responsible for your own actions.

You have no control over a persons Reaction. If you know what you will do will illicit negatve reaction, then curb it or judge the consequence.

In this situation you made an action that should not have created the response it did. The response is NOT your fault.

If your boss thought you had done something wrong then you'd be outa there. Simple simple.

If you feel bad about it then make sure you raise your concern, but for all we know (or you know) this could be just one of many inappropriate responces that Ron has had making inprov a bad place for him to be.

PAX

[Kikinchikin]

I'm really shocked it was him of all people that would do something like this, because of everyone there, he seems to be the most reserved and in control of his emotions. Again, I didn't see exactly what happened, but apparently my boss must have thought he did it deliberately. I have actually been beaten up pretty bad before, when another guy pulled his arm back very fast, slamming a ball into my crotch. He didn't get fired or anything, just a lecture on how physical comedy is good, but be careful. So this makes me think that Rob's actions were deliberate and out of anger, because if they weren't, then the guy that hit me in the balls would be gone too.

edit: I should probably add also that I am a junior in high school and everyone else(save 1 other who is younger than me) is in college, most of them attending the same college.

[Dharkbayne]

Tell him to stop being such a pussy and take it like a man.


Then kill him.

[Everay]

Tell him to stop being such a pussy and take it like a man.


Then kill him.


even Jesus agrees with Dhark.

listen, when you slapped him, was his face all pink and red? or was it a love tap? anyways, as long as you did it in "moderation" IMO your in the clear, dont feel bad about someone elses actions.

[1024]

who the fuck roundhouses someone when they get slapped?

[SDM]

Sometimes in meetings when someone asks me a tough question, my mind just goes blank and I slap somebody.

[WritheNC]

You should have taken a cue from "professional" wrestling, and tell them backstage you're going to hit him with a chair in the back before the big event.

And then hit him like planned...then three more times.

[Lonehunter]

I'm just trying to imagine that, *slap* then the guy gives a roundhouse :rofl:

[I Hate Pants]

Holy shit! He fucking roundhoused you? Punching is overrated.

[Sputty]

Yeah, a slap is one thing, a kick is another. His fault, especially if he did it out of anger for your slap. FFS, a slap only stings for a minute, even a hard one

[Peacemaker]

You guys are skipping the fact the guy might have been having like one of those REALLY REALLY bad days. You know. Those days where the first person to piss you off is going to get punched in the face. Yea. Maybe the guy just slipped. Id talk to the boss and be like
"It was an accident man. Rob did it instinctivly. I really dont think he should be fired unless something like this happened again."

[Breed]

You are only responsible for your own actions.

You have no control over a persons Reaction. If you know what you will do will illicit negatve reaction, then curb it or judge the consequence.

In this situation you made an action that should not have created the response it did. The response is NOT your fault.

If your boss thought you had done something wrong then you'd be outa there. Simple simple.

If you feel bad about it then make sure you raise your concern, but for all we know (or you know) this could be just one of many inappropriate responces that Ron has had making inprov a bad place for him to be.

PAX

My thoughts exactly.

[Triggar]

Chicken, I wouldn't worry about it. Like Pilgrim said, you're only responsible for your own actions. You said you'd done the slap while performing before (and gotten no ill-reaction from your opponent) so you had no way of knowing that the other guy would tweak.

I know you feel bad because he got fired and everything, but what if that kick had broken your spine (don't flame me; I admittedly know jack shit about kung-fu-type combat)? What if he had done it to someone else who could've gotten disabled? You never know, and the point is, he should've been in control of his actions. You can't go throwing down with someone in the middle of a comedy number.

[oddfish]

Chicken, I wouldn't worry about it. Like Pilgrim said, you're only responsible for your own actions. You said you'd done the slap while performing before (and gotten no ill-reaction from your opponent) so you had no way of knowing that the other guy would tweak.

I know you feel bad because he got fired and everything, but what if that kick had broken your spine (don't flame me; I admittedly know jack shit about kung-fu-type combat)? What if he had done it to someone else who could've gotten disabled? You never know, and the point is, he should've been in control of his actions. You can't go throwing down with someone in the middle of a comedy number.

/signed

i couldn't agree more.

and another thing: who the fuck thinks that a roundhouse kick in response to a slap is funny? i mean, honestly. there are much funnier reactions out there. i could run down a whole list, but i won't.

[Triggar]

Screaming like a girl and flailing your arms would've been one funnier reaction, off the top of my head.

[Firefly]

This isn't a flame.

Your first mistake was in slapping him. I'd have slapped you senseless, at the very least. Slapping is for bitches, first of all, and secondly what gives you the right to put your hands on someone? HAHA FUNNY COMEDY!! Guess what, you got your friend fired.

Don't give me that "You're only responsible for your actions" bullshit. There are plenty of people who have trained reflexes, where when someone comes at you with the intent to strike you, you don't even blink - you just react. So you're telling me that you aren't responsible for me catching your hand and bending the arm backward? Like hell you aren't. If you come at me I'm damn sure going to do what I was trained to do. Whether the guy was trained to or not, you simply do not put your hands on someone unless you're prepared to reap the consequences - be it legally, physically, or otherwise.

Your second mistake was in allowing him to get fired. You should have, at the very least, stuck to your guns for the dude who whipped your ass (because you deserved it) and pleaded like hell for him to be rehired. THEN, if that didn't work, you should have quit too. You dishonored your friendship with this dude, who as someone pointed out could have been having a bad day or could have been abused or something equally similarly the same... the least you could do is redeem that honor by taking responsibility for the fact that HAD YOU NOT SLAPPED HIM, HE WOULD NOT HAVE PUT YOU ON THE FLOOR.

who the fuck roundhouses someone when they get slapped?
Me. On a good day.

Try it, I fuckin' dare you. I wasn't put on this earth to take shit from anyone, funny ha-ha or not.

[Angel_of_Death]

Screaming like a girl and flailing your arms would've been one funnier reaction, off the top of my head.
Or breaking down and crying. Nothing beats that.

You are only responsible for your own actions.

[Kikinchikin]

Understandable that you feel that way Firefly. I did state earlier that I may have left some stuff out because it was late, which I did, but I won't get into it now. One point I do want to make though is that comedy is often physical. Above I stated that I have slapped other guys before and they did not react negatively. We all have a mutual understanding of what is too far, and slapping is not past the boundary. But that's all I'm going to say on that.
Anyway, the situation has been at least agreed upon by everyone in the company. I talked to my boss today who filled me in on exactly what happened. I was first of all unaware that a unanimous vote was taken that Rob's actions were not justified and that everyone believed that firing him was proper punishment. Secondly, as I stated before, I did not see/hear exactly what happened, but I now know that he struck me with the intensity and intent to cause pain. This is verified as Rob told my boss, on the phone when he was fired, that he, "kicked him in the small of his back pretty hard." Rob also made some remarks while I was on the floor that I couldn't make out, but they, according to my boss, made it obvious he had done it out of spite and not for comedic value or stagefighting. Thirdly, the main reason for firing him, my boss told me, was because, had I been hurt badly, I could have sued him criminally and sued him civally. Granted I would not have personally done it, but that's the legality of it. He has apologized to my boss, and told him to tell me he was sorry as well. Yes, he probably was having a bad day. Or perhaps he was sensitive to the whole losing hearing from getting slapped thing. Maybe he was stressed from college and this and needed some breathing room. I don't know. But I forgive him and I hope to see him soon so we can hopefully still remain friends. Thanks for the advice guys, I feel a lot better knowing that, at least all my coworkers feel that it was not my fault and don't blame me.

[Giovanni]

You are only responsible for your own actions.

You have no control over a persons Reaction. If you know what you will do will illicit negatve reaction, then curb it or judge the consequence.

In this situation you made an action that should not have created the response it did. The response is NOT your fault.

If your boss thought you had done something wrong then you'd be outa there. Simple simple.

If you feel bad about it then make sure you raise your concern, but for all we know (or you know) this could be just one of many inappropriate responces that Ron has had making inprov a bad place for him to be.

PAX

One of the things that made the most sense in this thread was this. Unlike Firefly most of society arent sociopaths and psychos and it's his fault for reacting that way. I've been doing a popular form of Kung-Fu here in eastern Canada and I can pretty much tell you that a roundhouse kick that knocked you down that hard could have caused internal injuries such as: Internal bleeding, curving of the spine, moving a disk up to spinal fracture and so much more. The style I study teaches you how to wound severely your opponent before he can wound you and something as meaningless as a poke in the ribs or the kidneys from my Sijo could mean internal bleeding and or pissing blood for the next few weeks.

Edit: Forgot to read your post, the area where he kicked you is a very sensitive area of the spine mainly because it's where most of your nerves meet leg-wise. That blow could have crippled you for life, fine he's a friend but his actions could have cost you a part of your life you never thought you would have lost. This kick could have fucked with your kidneys as well... I don't beleive pissing blood and having spasms in your crotch for several weeks is pleasent.

[AztecWarrior]

Or breaking down and crying. Nothing beats that.
CRAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIN!!!

[Peacemaker]

I am a lamer. I roundhouse people for fun. I am a ninja!!!!!! ph34r!!!!!1111one


Fixed.


Ok sorry for this but it had to be done. Come on? I call bullshit on Firflys post. I have never once met one person who responds to me being jokingly physical with them with a roundhouse. I also call bullshit that you could not do a round house, nor have the balls to strike someone else.

[_-Gunslinger-_]

Fixed.


Ok sorry for this but it had to be done. Come on? I call bullshit on Firflys post. I have never once met one person who responds to me being jokingly physical with them with a roundhouse. I also call bullshit that you could not do a round house, nor have the balls to strike someone else.


While firefly's attitude is certainly rather psycotic, roundhouses are easy to do and striking another human beaing is simply a matter of finding that violant side and using it.

[Dharkbayne]

Fixed.


Ok sorry for this but it had to be done. Come on? I call bullshit on Firflys post. I have never once met one person who responds to me being jokingly physical with them with a roundhouse. I also call bullshit that you could not do a round house, nor have the balls to strike someone else.


Pretty sure Firefly teaches (has tought?) Self defence or martial arts or something like that in the Army.

So I'm pretty sure he's able to do it. Hell, I can do it, and I'm a fatass computer nerd.

[Giovanni]

Pretty sure Firefly teaches (has tought?) Self defence or martial arts or something like that in the Army.

So I'm pretty sure he's able to do it. Hell, I can do it, and I'm a fatass computer nerd.

Can't be that fat Dhark you can type meaning you don't have huge pudgy fingers :p .

[elana]

Sounds to me like the boss was right. Your slap was clearly intended to be part of the comedy, and wasn't anything too terrible. I mean even if you flubbed it and hit the guy a bit too hard, he way overreacted by kicking you like that. It shows a definite lack of control on his part, and this will hopefully be a good lesson for him.

Having said that, I'd totally feel terrible if I were you too. I totally understand that. It's not your fault, but I can definitely see feeling at least indirectly responsible for it.

[Firefly]

I call bullshit on Firflys post. I have never once met one person who responds to me being jokingly physical with them with a roundhouse. I also call bullshit that you could not do a round house, nor have the balls to strike someone else.
That's because you're what... fifteen, sixteen? Who the hell have you met? A bunch of kids at school? Maybe a few adults?

Jokingly being physical is one thing - if you're not expecting it, it's another.

By the way. I can do much, much more than a roundhouse. I taught hand-to-hand combat (armed and unarmed), which also included drills with a bayonet mounted on the end of a rfile. I did that for about four years. Train-ups for certain types of these drills included using Pugil sticks. They look like enormous Q-tips, and you can knock someone senseless if they aren't wearing the proper protection.

Furthermore, sparky, I've been "overseas on business with the Army" twice - and I don't mean playing Battlefield Vietnam. So not only did I have the balls to strike someone else, but for ten years I also trained to shoot someone else. Ever stop to think that not everyone at this website isn't old enough to legally buy their own beer in the US?

Have a nice day.