Shenanigan in religion class

[AztecWarrior]

NOTE: The Freuidan slip present is not mine- I am not anti-semitic.

Earlier in the class we had learned from the theology teacher that one of the students in 12th grade who lived in Little Haiti (a real place, not just part of Vice City) had his house burn down by an electrical fire.

Of course, the social justice advocate that she is, was a firm believer that these things happened more in poorer inner-city, predominantly black areas, thus, someone or something is to blame.

Anyway, while she was speaking, demanding that something be done, she uttered this perfect racist statement:

"We ought to get some Jewish lawyer-err, shark lawyer..."

At which point the class went silent, then "Did she just say...?", then laughter. Probably the last person on earth I'd expect to make a slip of that magnitude.

EDIT: Clarification: We weren't laughing with the joke, we were laughing at the teacher for making such a comment.

[Corrosion]

:rofl:

[GeneralRazor]

chuckle...?

Not to be too brass, but I would have got a blank face if I delivered that line in a circle of friends that way.

I guess jewish and lawyer should automatically be funny?

I guess I had to be there...

Edit: I read it 5 or six times, I'm not jewish. I think i'm lacking humor from these threads.

Pants?

[AztecWarrior]

Agh, I don't want to offend our Jewish population here, but: some people believe that the majority of lawyers, or at least a huge amount, are Jewish.

[GeneralRazor]

Agh, I don't want to offend our Jewish population here, but: some people believe that the majority of lawyers, or at least a huge amount, are Jewish.

I fully understand that. I wasn't born yesterday (no offense). But I cannot find the humor in that. I guess I should let humor be humor and leave, but man, where's it funny?

[AztecWarrior]

The religion teacher was racist.

[Corrosion]

The religion teacher was racist.
Yea Razor, that's the whole point.

[Squeeky]

Jewish jokes are some of the best. Hell, i'm Jewish and I make them with my family.

"Hey, Uncle Glenn, quit being a fucking *** with the taters and give me some"

I used that line at Thanksgiving, my family loved it.

Who remembers the episode of Family Guy where it cuts to a scene where Peter is rich, the Hollywood sign is in the background, and he's on the phone and then he falls down the hill into a cactus. He has a Star Of David on. :lol: :lol:

But when someone is genuinely anti-semetic, I have no problem bashing their fuck in.

[Ivan]

Agh, I don't want to offend our Jewish population here, but: some people believe that the majority of lawyers, or at least a huge amount, are Jewish.
**** run everything! The five **** run the world! [/south park]

[I Hate Pants]

religion class???? WTF???? Is the bible your text book?

[Baneblade]

Accountants actually...

[Baneblade]

religion class???? WTF???? Is the bible your text book?
Some private schools practice religious conditioning.

[Firefly]

Jewish jokes are some of the best. Hell, i'm Jewish and I make them with my family.
My grandmother is the executive director of a temple in the heart of Seattle. Meaning she's more *** than Yew.

The two best ones she taught me were these:

What's the difference in Santa Claus and the Jewish Santa Claus?
-- When Hannuka Harry comes down the chimney he says "Hey kiddies, anyone wanna buy any toys?"

What's the difference in a pit bull and a Jewish mother?
-- A pitbull eventually lets go.

I don't think anyone but we **** will get the last one. My mother, she guilted me for that last one by the way.

[Triggar]

What's the difference in a pit bull and a Jewish mother?
-- A pitbull eventually lets go.

:lol:

I've always heard that **** were a lot like Sicilians.

Now I know for sure :rofl:

[JetRaiden]

:lol: *** jokes are the bomb

[Hezzy]

religion class???? WTF???? Is the bible your text book?

They have Religious Education in England too. It's mandatory.

On another note:

I once dreamed that I put on a halloween mask (one of those goofy president masks) and drilled my 8th grade English teacher from behind. :(

[AztecWarrior]

Private school.

Catholic Social Doctrine is our textbook, but the Bible is occasionally used.

[ChewyLSB]

Eh... I go to Public School... and we have an optional "Bible Studies" class, which is sort of like a club. I'm actually in it, even though I'm atheist...

[MattxMosh]

Eh... I go to Public School... and we have an optional "Bible Studies" class, which is sort of like a club. I'm actually in it, even though I'm atheist...


Sounds like you just want a class to nap in.

[Squeeky]

You cant quote me on Genmay Hezzy! YOU BASTAGE :lol:

[ChewyLSB]

Sounds like you just want a class to nap in.
Nah, it's an after school activity. I just want to break the stereotype that Atheists don't know anything about religion. I've always been interested in the concept of religion, I'm just not religious myself.

[Hezzy]

You cant quote me on Genmay Hezzy! YOU BASTAGE :lol:


:lol:

[Kyonye]

:lol:

I've always heard that **** were a lot like Sicilians.

Now I know for sure :rofl:



more like Sicilians ae alot like us :D

and those were funny firefly...chanukah harry would say that.

[Infernus]

The other day my teacher asked us the difference between **** and pizza... he has since been fired...

*** jokes are good to an extent... but my teacher took it to far...

[Ivan]

The other day my teacher asked us the difference between **** and pizza... he has since been fired...

*** jokes are good to an extent... but my teacher took it to far...
woah, that was too far there imo too.

[Infernus]

woah, that was too far there imo too.

Indeed... I for one didn't appreciate it at all either... and I'm not jewish, but my boyfriend is... :ugh: so yeah... just a slight bit offensive...

[Hamma]

I'd rather have no education than be educated at a religious school

[Mag]

I'd rather have no education than be educated at a religious school.
Grammar Nazi'ing for the win.

[Infernus]

I'd rather have no education than be educated at a religious school

Thats why I don't go to Catholic School anymore...

[Triggar]

I think it's important to study religions if for no other reason than to train yourself to be objective. I think it's always wise to know as much as you can about as many things as you can for the sake of having a better appreciation of the religion you practice as well as your motivations for practicing it.

[Infernus]

BUT BEING CATHOLIC IS SO MUCH EASIER!


/closed minded

[Triggar]

:lol:

You don't know how wonderful your own religion is until you explore the others.

You can't fully appreciate someone of another faith until you are familiar with their belief system and how it grew.

[Doop]

Jewish jokes are some of the best. Hell, i'm Jewish and I make them with my family.

"Hey, Uncle Glenn, quit being a fucking *** with the taters and give me some"

I used that line at Thanksgiving, my family loved it.

Who remembers the episode of Family Guy where it cuts to a scene where Peter is rich, the Hollywood sign is in the background, and he's on the phone and then he falls down the hill into a cactus. He has a Star Of David on. :lol: :lol:

But when someone is genuinely anti-semetic, I have no problem bashing their fuck in.

Nothing else has worked so far,
So I�ll wish upon a star,
Wondrous sparkling speck of light,
I need a ***...

Lois makes me take the rap,
Because our checkbook looks like crap,
Since I can't give her a slap,
I need a ***...

Where to find
A bum or stien or stein
To teach me how to whine
And do my taxes...

Though by many they're abhorred,
Hebrew people I�ve adored,
Even though they killed my lord,
I need a ***!

Max:
Hi, my name's Max Weinstein,
my car just broke down,
can I use you phone?

Peter:
Now my troubles are all through
I have a ***!

Family Guy *** humor for win.

[Ivan]

I'd rather have no education than be educated at a religious school.
Grammar Nazi'ing for the win.
Like he said, he has no education... :D

[Firefly]

I think it's important to study religions if for no other reason than to train yourself to be objective. I think it's always wise to know as much as you can about as many things as you can for the sake of having a better appreciation of the religion you practice as well as your motivations for practicing it.
I attended a private Catholic Boys' School. My father is a Methodist minister. His parents are Episcopalian.

I studied Hare Krishna, I studied Buddhism, I studied Islam (I have a rather expensive copy of the Qur'an with a message from Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, some dude most of you may never have heard of), and I studied Christianity. Some I studied just enough to understand, and some I studied as I considered where my place in the world was.

Too bad we don't have a religion for coffee, donuts, and beer. Oh, and naked chicks.

[AztecWarrior]

I don't see the need to study other religions formally, but I do know a great deal on the major ones. I have very little taste for the trendy religions like Kabalah.

[Triggar]

Kabballah, dear sir, has been around for thousands of years, and isn't a religion per se, but is a division of Judaism.

Read up, it's a lot more interesting than your closed mind might think.

[Doop]

Like he said, he has no education... :D

He don't need no education.
He don't need no self control.

[Firefly]

I have very little taste for the trendy religions like Kabalah.
Your lack of education was intimated when you said you didn't see a need to study. If you knew a great deal on the major ones, then you'd know a great deal about Kabbalah as it's a "denomination" so to speak, of Judaism - which, last time I checked, was at least more "major" than Branch Davidianism and sometimes Mormonism. (disclaimer, please don't get offended if you're a Branch Davidian or sometimes Mormon)

Just because Madonna goes to Israel and does some fucked-up "Charmed" dance around a grave with some marijuana-scented incense and a big fat candle that she bought from "Mi Pequena Tienda De Fifth Avenue de Albuquerque" with a giant airbrushed/crayon mural bearing the likeness of Virgin Mary that reads "La Virgin y Su Hijo El Nino Jesus, el Hijo de Dios" and chanting "Ho-ho-ho, ha-ha-ha, abra cadabra!" like she's got her brain up her ass doesn't mean that this is a trendy religion. Then again, what do you expect from a former Catholic American expatriate who has the utter pretentiousness to adopt an English accent because she married one?

http://www.kabbalah.com/kabbalah/

Enjoy. Do note the introduction under "What is Kabbalah?" that states, "... Kabbalah, and it is the oldest, most influential wisdom in all of human history."

Not quite trendy, if I do say so myself.

[Infernus]

(disclaimer, please don't get offended if you're a Branch Davidian or sometimes Mormon)

Just because Madonna goes to Israel and does some fucked-up "Charmed" dance around a grave with some marijuana-scented incense and a big fat candle that she bought from "Mi Pequena Tienda De Fifth Avenue de Albuquerque" with a giant airbrushed/crayon mural bearing the likeness of Virgin Mary that reads "La Virgin y Su Hijo El Nino Jesus, el Hijo de Dios" and chanting "Ho-ho-ho, ha-ha-ha, abra cadabra!" like she's got her brain up her ass doesn't mean that this is a trendy religion. Then again, what do you expect from a former Catholic American expatriate who has the utter pretentiousness to adopt an English accent because she married one?

:lol: :lol: I love you!


My religion: http://www.scientology.org/

[Kam]

.

[Triggar]

I went to public school where religion was taught to broaden the minds of kids. I.e. "this is what's out there, now make your own conclusion." We didn't have a huge population of pot-smokers, violent occurances, eating disorders, drinking, driving waaaay too fast, or a general disregard for authority. I don't think one has anything to do with the other.

I think religion should be looked at as a cause and replaced with the focus on basic parenting skills.

[Baneblade]

I went to a Lutheran School till 8th Grade, and I learned so much more about the real world in public school it isn't funny.

[Kam]

.

[ObnoxiousFrog]

hell, I tell my jewish friend if he can loan me a bank or two when im low on cash.

And now, a textual representation of me listening to "Brand New Colony" by The Postal Service.

swwewa waenjaw ejaw wj bjsefnw o[e[awo[eorui e[owubeoauwbaw wo[a oawuwouaeb woueb[ awouwuo be[aowuo[ebawo[ ubwoaew[aouawo[ueb[awouq]w9hj238904hw w0839304u 934uq239k]dfnwiorhek neipth]awepwirh] ]powajr awwiarhwi hjaewo trne3[o r4h]234hiopasj43p2394u-wa9u4 o3wu94 3-u3589034u 9 23u923wiperjweiwirir hwierhawiowriowriewierhwioarh089 h3 904u033[94u390590 38904u390 u390438038 y like a perfect gentleman.

[Cauldron Borne]

(By crazy I mean the smoke weed, stab people, eating disorders, drinking, driving waaay to fast, general disreguard for authority, etc)

^^sound's like my public, govt operated, school. Stay away from Vista on PSU:MB, folks. You'll live longer.

And my religion is something no-one will have ever heard of because my friend and I are, as yet, the only members:

Evangelical Christian Revolution. You can guess what we believe.

[oddfish]

I attended a private school in which the average class size was 110 students. It was a Catholic school. yes, we had to go to "Religion Class." It was total, utter, and complete bullshit. Fact of the matter was, when it came right down to it, our school probably had more deviants and fuck-ups than the public schools, except our deviants and fuck-ups didn't drop out of school, and most actually got really good grades.

Being one of the fuck-ups, I'd like to explain to some of you the way most religious schools work, as per my experience and the experience of some of my friends from the cellegiate setting who also have attended religious schools...

It's simple. The over-exposure to religion turns out a variety of young adults, here's the spread:
1 in ten become truly relgious and actually really give a shit about their faith.
4 in ten don't really care either way.
4 more in that ten become very skeptical about religion and what not. They question their faith.
The last 1 will become a fucking atheist and hate religion.

What are the religion classes like? There's a bible history course one year, a kind of overview of your religion the next, then there's a religious understanding course (the hippie cours) and the last one, your senior year, is usually some kind of way to relate your religion to your life as an adult going out into the world. Like I said, most of it is bullshit. To be honest, most religious schools aren't very religious. They have the nutshell but no nut. It's kind of a joke. Now, Aztec may disagree with my appraisal, but that's because he's the 1 out of the ten that becomes truly religious and actually really gives a shit about his faith. That's cool with me. It's your thing, do whatever you want. But, I'll be honest, if anyone here thinks that students that go to religious schools are religious, you are very sorely mistaken. Some are, some aren't, most don't give a rat's ass. Religious/Private schools, for the most part, aren't much different from public schools, excpet public school environments tend to be larger, more heavily populated, and the incidents always seem bigger, because the fringe asshole cliques aren't three or four students they're 30-50 students.. 30 people are much more noticable than 3 any day of the week.

[AztecWarrior]

Actually, I'd agree.

Some of the teachers are so off on a tangent they are the greatest Atheist missionaries. My current one is going to drive away a lot of people because she's a social justice advocate and the average jock brain cannot distinguish between "Don't hurt the workers" and "Workers of the world, unite!".

Futhermore, more and more of the Church's teaching is made to...how can I say...to please everyone, i.e. if you are truly religious, no matter what religion, you go to heaven.

I don't believe that if a suicide bomber burst in to my bedroom right now, chanted "ALLAHU ACKBAR" and blew himself up, I'd meet him in heaven because he was holy, too.

[Infernus]

I attended a private school in which the average class size was 110 students. It was a Catholic school. yes, we had to go to "Religion Class." It was total, utter, and complete bullshit. Fact of the matter was, when it came right down to it, our school probably had more deviants and fuck-ups than the public schools, except our deviants and fuck-ups didn't drop out of school, and most actually got really good grades.

Being one of the fuck-ups, I'd like to explain to some of you the way most religious schools work, as per my experience and the experience of some of my friends from the cellegiate setting who also have attended religious schools...

It's simple. The over-exposure to religion turns out a variety of young adults, here's the spread:
1 in ten become truly relgious and actually really give a shit about their faith.
4 in ten don't really care either way.
4 more in that ten become very skeptical about religion and what not. They question their faith.
The last 1 will become a fucking atheist and hate religion.

What are the religion classes like? There's a bible history course one year, a kind of overview of your religion the next, then there's a religious understanding course (the hippie cours) and the last one, your senior year, is usually some kind of way to relate your religion to your life as an adult going out into the world. Like I said, most of it is bullshit. To be honest, most religious schools aren't very religious. They have the nutshell but no nut. It's kind of a joke. Now, Aztec may disagree with my appraisal, but that's because he's the 1 out of the ten that becomes truly religious and actually really gives a shit about his faith. That's cool with me. It's your thing, do whatever you want. But, I'll be honest, if anyone here thinks that students that go to religious schools are religious, you are very sorely mistaken. Some are, some aren't, most don't give a rat's ass. Religious/Private schools, for the most part, aren't much different from public schools, excpet public school environments tend to be larger, more heavily populated, and the incidents always seem bigger, because the fringe asshole cliques aren't three or four students they're 30-50 students.. 30 people are much more noticable than 3 any day of the week.

Couldn't have said it much better myself...

I went to a Catholic school, but due to... lets call it,conflict of interests, left.

I now go to a much, much better private academy/boardingschool type school. Is the work load heavier? Yes. Is that a bad thing? No. Now I feel like I'm actually learning something when I go to school, people don't try to force feed me morals, I can express myself, I'm captain of the hockey team, and I have the best boyfriend to walk the face of this planet (except martyr... he's quite the tiger).

[Triggar]

(except martyr... he's quite the tiger).

And he's alllll mine :evil:

I don't believe that if a suicide bomber burst in to my bedroom right now, chanted "ALLAHU ACKBAR" and blew himself up, I'd meet him in heaven because he was holy, too.

Well, there's "Holy" - i.e. Pope John Paul - and there's "holy" - i.e. people who murder abortion doctors and people who blow themselves up in the name of their "religion".

Crazies != Holy

[AztecWarrior]

That's not exactly what the Church teaches. :/

"If you believe in your religion you go to heaven."

[Triggar]

Who's teaching you??

I was always taught that you get to heaven if you believe that Jesus is the Savior.

The crazies shouting "Allah Ackbar!" as they storm into cockpits aren't Islam by anyone's account. They're, as I said earlier, crazy.

[AztecWarrior]

I belive that you need faith and deeds.

I'm pretty sure the rogue idea has seeped in and been confirmed by my various theology teachers throughout the years.

[oddfish]

Who's teaching you??

I was always taught that you get to heaven if you believe that Jesus is the Savior.

The crazies shouting "Allah Ackbar!" as they storm into cockpits aren't Islam by anyone's account. They're, as I said earlier, crazy.
Admiral ACKBAR???
http://img113.exs.cx/img113/2013/b0pitsatrap001.jpg

[AztecWarrior]

Admiral ACKBAR???
http://img113.exs.cx/img113/2013/b0pitsatrap001.jpg
....Ackbar = Mohammed!

The truth has been revealed.

[oddfish]

....Ackbar = Mohammed!

The truth has been revealed.
don't lie to me you piece of shit! I know who Admiral Ackbar is.. and he sure as hell isn't a Muslim! He's Mon Calamari! DUHHHH! doofus.

[AztecWarrior]

don't lie to me you piece of shit! I know who Admiral Ackbar is.. and he sure as hell isn't a Muslim! He's Mon Calamari! DUHHHH! doofus.
Well, I'm still pretty sure the Ewoks are Buddha in various forms.

[oddfish]

Well, I'm still pretty sure the Ewoks are Buddha in various forms.
Ewoks are pagans. or perhaps ****... why else would they worship a big GOLD robot? Gooooollld.. oooooooooo...















well, that's enough anti-semitism for me today. i'm going to go carve a cross into my chest and say five thousand hail-mary's so i don't go to hell. right?

[Baneblade]

Heaven is eternity worshipping god. Hell is everything else...guess which I pick.