My attempt at being funny

[BUGGER]

Haha my coach told everyone this joke today whom I thought was really funny. I�ma gonna try to repeat what he told (try).

The RoundTable:

Once in a place far away there was King Arthur and all of his knights. Now back in his day he would be strapped with a belt, one with a single hole in the front. He would get whipped or bitten on the dick by the queen.

Well the king brought all his knights over and said, �Boys, I�m tired of seeing my wife everyday, knowing that she�s seen all of you. I�m sick of it seeing my wife getting on her knee�s all the time. Now I have to know who here is loyal to me and not getting the pleasure that everyone else is getting. Drop your pants.�

Each knight looked around to each other wondering what this meant, so one by one each knight dropped their trousers revealing the cut and bruised wieners they have (hey my coach called em that). King Arthur went around inspecting each knight until he came to Sir Lancelot , who had so far the cleanest filth of all.

The king said, �Lancelot! My beloved knight, I knew you would always be loyal to me!�

Lancelot responded closed mouth, �Mmhmm.� :lol:



Hehe now I got some racist jokes, bear with me. (my school has only at the most 5 black people in it, I hear these jokes free willingly if from anybody also my coach). not race safe if u hate racism :nodrama:

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Down a hill:

What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche

What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? Mudslide

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Jailbreak



Who�s driving:

In a car theres a black man and a Mexican, who�s driving the car? A cop.


Why do black people hate chainsaws? Because they go RuRuRUN-nigganigganigga

Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they know how to run, shoot, and steal.

Why are black people so tall? Because their knee-grows!

*edit*this one was too racist.

What do you call 3 Mexicans pushing a Cadillac up a hill? Grand Theft Auto.


Aight now for some gay jokes (no racism). Answer these!


Would you rather give head to a guy, or get shot in the face?


And finally, you know what confuses a gay guy? Yellow.

[Jaged]

:rofl: at the yellow one. It took me a second but I lol'd at it.

I dont get the one your coach told you though. Explain please.

[Giovanni]

So... you have a biggot teacher and you wanted to brag about it?

[Derfud]

I dont get the first one, or the last one.

[Jaged]

I dont get the first one, or the last one.
pfft, I think that means your gay. ;)

[Derfud]

Unless there is a deeper meaning than that, I guess I did get it.

[Giovanni]

Unless there is a deeper meaning than that, I guess I did get it.

You're expecting WAY too much from the people here...

[Jaged]

Unless there is a deeper meaning than that, I guess I did get it.
Its a stupid one liner gay joke. Don't ever try to look for a "deeper meaning" to anything like that.

[Derfud]

Works better when said in person. I tried it today :p

[BUGGER]

Yeah the first one i had a hard time repeating, the baseline of it is Lancelot dick wasn't cut up by the queen and his mouth was full and he couldn't speak.

Can you connect the dots? Sorry if i didn't make it clear enough.


Another thing i thought was funny but supid my friend told me today when he saw this really hot asain walk by, he asked me "Is she asain or chinesse?"

So... you have a biggot teacher and you wanted to brag about it?
Well considering our team is one of the best, yeah sure.

[Jaged]

ok.... his mouth was full...

I still don't get it.

[xxhereticxx]

what was in his mouth. if you tell the people who didn't get it it's not gonna ruin anything. it's beyond possibly funny now.

[worldvengence]

his first joke is kinda like the one that goes:

A long time ago in a land far away, a king was trying to marry his daughter off to one of three princes. Now the king was allowing the princes to spend a day and a night with the princess, but he didnt want them taking advantage of the princess, so he put golden glitter on her vagina. First he let the oldest prince spend a day and a night with the princess and when the first prince came out, the king checked, and there was glitter on his penis, and he told the prince, that he couldnt marry his daughter, then the next prince had his turn, and the same case, finally the kind was losing faith, but let the youngest prince have his turn and when he came out, the king checked and there was no glitter on his member, the king then said to him and smiled with glitter on his teeth...


get it now?

[Firefly]

I don't find racist jokes funny. And spreading them, whether you hear it all the time or not, isn't funny either.

Attempt failed.

[firecrackerNC]

I found teh funny. Not bad most of them.

[Rhemuss]

I am an African American and those jokes offend me.

pfffft, pfffft

BUAHAHAHA im just kidding... those are pretty funny actually I'll have to steal them.

[BUGGER]

his first joke is kinda like the one that goes:

A long time ago in a land far away, a king was trying to marry his daughter off to one of three princes. Now the king was allowing the princes to spend a day and a night with the princess, but he didnt want them taking advantage of the princess, so he put golden glitter on her vagina. First he let the oldest prince spend a day and a night with the princess and when the first prince came out, the king checked, and there was glitter on his penis, and he told the prince, that he couldnt marry his daughter, then the next prince had his turn, and the same case, finally the kind was losing faith, but let the youngest prince have his turn and when he came out, the king checked and there was no glitter on his member, the king then said to him and smiled with glitter on his teeth...


get it now?Yeah thats a different version. same baseline. All the knights got head by the queen, but lancelot gave head to the queen.


Some one answer the second to last one, would you rather give head to a guy or get shot in the face?

[Mag]

Same thing.

[BUGGER]

K I got another funny from coach.


Church Bells

Theres a catholic school ran by a bunch of priests, full of grown boys ready to leave the school to become priests themselves. This was the last week of training for these boys and it was going ot be a hard one. They were going to be challenged by sexual appearance.

The priest brought 4 boys into a room and gave each one a bell, telling them to tie it to their dicks. If it were to ring during the challenge at all, they would be kicked out and would fail to become priests He went back outside and came in followed by a gorgeous blond with massive tits. Each boy struggled while in their chairs even when she started to peel off clothing one by one. Finally�.

DING DING DING

The priest ran over to the kid. He got a boner and the bell was ringing like mad. The 3 other boys giggled. The priest grabbed the bell and slapped the kid in the head yelling, �You immature little prick!� He threw the bell down by the wall. �Pick up the bell, pack your bags, and get the hell out of here, you sick bastard!� The priest walked to behind his desk and watched the kid. Whimpering the kid slowly got up and walked over to the wall, and bent over to pick up the bell. From behind the priest�s desk�..

DING DING DING!



Yeah after that the coach told us to flick off a bunch of cross country kids cause they were watching then they mooned us. :ugh:


Now for the joke no one wants to answer. would you rather give head to a guy or get shot in the face?

If the person you ask says give head to a guy, well he's gay, nothing you can do. If he says get shot in the face, then yell at him YOUR NASTY!, tell him that he wants a cumshot.