A Girlfriend thread

[Lonehunter]

I can't believe I'm doing this, I've always read other post about this and tried to help out. Never thought I would

I'll try to keep it short/simple

Girl started working with me, liked this girl, asked her out. Knowing that she would have to go to college in about a month and a half later, but I thought why not see what happens.

Then I completely and totally fall for this girl, and she me. Took about 2 hours to say goodbye the night that she left.

Until that night we hadn't talked about what would happen to "us" when she left. After much talking she said "how bout this, we'll keep in touch. I'll see you when I come in, but nothing... serious. Because I don't know how you're gonna live your life, and neither do I."

So we talk every day, MSN or phone. From our conversations you'd think we where still a connected couple.


Now I HATE having a girl that's too far to see. I like to be close, (I'm not a pussy I swear). Her being away drives me nuts, and her being around hundreads of college guys. Most of her friends are guys btw. She goes to church and all her friends say she's the most honest person they know, but I still worry.

What's driven me to worry lately is little things. When ever I say I love her, or miss her, or want to see her: she replies with something like "I know". Not that she wants to.

Of coarse this could be simple human paranoia, but I'll see her for the first time in a month this weekend. I'm thinking about closing all connections what so ever, because I can't take the torture of a dangeling, half-way relationship. No friends, no talk occasionaly, because I know I'll always have feelings for her. That will get in the way of me moving on.


So now I have succeeded in embarassing myself, I just want to run this idea by some other minds to see if there are any details I seem to be overlooking before I lose her.

[Jennyboo]

What's driven me to worry lately is little things. When ever I say I love her, or miss her, or want to see her: she replies with something like "I know". Not that she wants to.

Her short replies could just be the fact that she trying to hold her emotions together..that in fact she misses you and much as you miss her. But let face it your not just around the coner so she trying to keep her mind of the face that she misses you. If in fact if you both Love eachother like you say love has a way of working things out. I know kinda corny but this just could be a test of your Love if you were meant to be together in the end after college things will work out. Keep talking to her...maybe when she comes home talk to her about how you feel. Tell her "she's impossible to get over" that you dont think you can move on. If she wants to remain friends though this least be her friends(You need to be friends first). Just give it time..It's hard I know but life has a way of sorting Love out. It just may take some time

[Mag-Mower]

Arent you going to college? Well, I say wait till you see her again before you make any descisions. See her this weekend, evaluate the situation then. Good? Bad? You decide what you want.

[Giovanni]

Oh hell no!

Don't fall for the friend bullshit if you ever break-up. You know why? It's quite simple, it's fucking painfull. Why? Because if you really like her... then your gonna have to stand by and watch her hug someone else, kiss someone else or hell even hear about her fuck someone else.

I was trying to remain friends with my ex and guess what... it didn't take two days till I told her to fuck off...

It's really painfull to see someone you loved and still sort of love go with someone else and get on with their lives and for some odd reason you just can't let it go...

But that's just me being pessimistic... I'd honestly say: Dump the bitch before she dumps you.

[Mag-Mower]

Oh hell no!

Don't fall for the friend bullshit if you ever break-up. You know why? It's quite simple, it's fucking painfull. Why? Because if you really like her... then your gonna have to stand by and watch her hug someone else, kiss someone else or hell even hear about her fuck someone else.

I was trying to remain friends with my ex and guess what... it didn't take two days till I told her to fuck off...

It's really painfull to see someone you loved and still sort of love go with someone else and get on with their lives and for some odd reason you just can't let it go...

But that's just me being pessimistic... I'd honestly say: Dump the bitch before she dumps you.

I agree, except for one thing. Dont leave her if she still wants you, but if you feel that the relationship is doing poorly, do what gio said. It would be difficult for you to be friends if you still have feelings for her.

[Hamma]

Long distance relationships suck ass. :ugh: I feel your pain.

Size up the situation when you see her then decide the path to take imo.

[Jennyboo]

Long distance relationships suck ass. :ugh: I feel your pain.

Size up the situation when you see her then decide the path to take imo.


Hamma and I were at that point it was very hard on both of us ....Thats why we got Married so fast :evil: :lol: jk Getting married sholved it though :D

[MattxMosh]

Hamma and I were at that point it was very hard on both of us ....Thats why we got Married so fast :evil: :lol: jk Getting married sholved it though :D

haha that sounds familiar.

[Hamma]

:lol:

[Infernus]

Its college...

She moved away.


I hate to break it to you man, but you can't expect her to stay chained (and totally loyal) to a guy she'll comparatively rarely see.

[Setari]

The funny part is, before college is typically when people split so they can have fun at school. Seeing something the opposite is sort of amusing in a mean sort of way.

[LimpBIT]

I would have to go with Gios idea. Dont try and stay friends with her, it only makes things worse.

[Firefly]

Her short replies could just be the fact that she trying to hold her emotions together..that in fact she misses you and much as you miss her. But let face it your not just around the coner so she trying to keep her mind of the face that she misses you.

Sorry, but that's crap.

Dude - if a significant other doesn't say it back, don't say it unless it's as a reply. IE, make her come to you with that shit. Throwing yourself out there like that not only makes it all uncomfortable, but it also makes you feel bad later. Trust me, I've been there and done that.

From both sides, actually.

[Jennyboo]

Sorry, but that's crap.


No not crap ;) You dont understand the mind of a women. Women over think things make small thing larger then they are. I could be right maybe. But im pretty sure I understand the women mind a little more then most men ;) Believe me women and i can say this we are a pain in the ass:evil: and most dont deal with emotions well

[Hamma]

here here, women are a pain in the ass. :p

[Firefly]

No not crap ;) You dont understand the mind of a women. Women over think things make small thing larger then they are. I could be right maybe. But im pretty sure I understand the women mind a little more then most men ;) Believe me women and i can say this we are a pain in the ass:evil: and most dont deal with emotions well

You're entitled to your opinion. I'm entitled to tell you you're wrong. I seriously doubt this chick is holding back because she's trying to hold on. She at least kept it real by saying "Let's see what happens."

Obvious Adams time here.

First big sign - she told him the way she felt, about "but nothing... serious. Because I don't know how you're gonna live your life, and neither do I." That means she's not committed. She's not exactly playing the field (at least that you know) but she's not ruling it out as an option. I take it you just graduated high school, or are at least in the vicinity of high school years within a year or two? I'm operating on this presumtion of age for the moment. She's well aware of upcoming freedom and distance. That bullshit about "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? It's just that - bullshit. She's off doing her thing, which doesn't include you. This is a whole new stage, and things usually don't carry over for very long.

Second big sign - she doesn't say "I love you" back. She doesn't indicate AT ALL that she wants to see Lonehunter when he says he misses her, she doesn't reciprocate. Even if she was trying to downplay what she's feeling, she could at least say "Yeah I miss you too".

Which is why I recommend to you, Lonehunter, that you back off and not say anything of the emotional vein. Don't hang it out there like that, because things lying around tend to get stepped on. Be it your dick or your heart. She's not playing you, but it also seems she's not as attached as she used to be. At least you're not getting strung along.

I'm telling you, man. Let her come to you. She'll notice that you're not pouring it on, and she'll either be relieved or she'll come after you. Either way, you'll get resolution. I'm not saying ditch her, break contact, etc. I'm not saying go out and get some poon in the meantime. Hell, hang on to those feelings because it may be a fluke. And if she comes around, you'll be so much the better. I'm not predicting how it'll turn out, because Jennyboo may be right, and she certainly understands women more than men.

All I'm saying is, don't put it out there to get trounced on. Just hold her to her word of coming to see you when she's in town. If she breaks that, then you know for sure. Until then, be casual. Avoid the emotional stuff. You protect yourself, and you possibly may draw her in when/if she notices you're not being sappy.

[Hamma]

But you can't deny women are a pain in the ass. :D

[Firefly]

Hell no. I proudly admit it. Women are a huge fucking pain in the ass. Unfortunately for Infernus, I like women. If they weren't so damn hot, I'd swear them off altogether, though.

[Jennyboo]

Im not saying to hang your heart out there either no point getting your heart stamped on .... Im saying dont lose contact... Im sure her mind in on college. Just let time work things out. Firefly is right she knows how you feel now step back make no effort and see how things work out. If there's on thing I know women make things more difficult then they need to be. I hope things work out. (Firefly is right about least one thing Sappy men usally mean women have you in the palm of their hands) Get out of her palm and see how she reacts ;) :love:

[Ivan]

Seems I concur with Jenny and Firefly and whom ever else might have said the same thing in a different way. So I'll say the same thing again in yet a different way... :lol:

Don't drop her and run like an Anthrax filled envelope. You never know she might be feeling the same way as you. I wouldn't read too much into her not replying the same way emotionally as you did. Like Jenny and Firefly said, women can be and are most of the time over analytical. They think too much into something. So she might be trying to distance herself from you as a defense if you were to find someone else since she's not around. Sort of like she's preparing herself for the worst case scenario before it happens.

Remember she***8217;s feeling the same way about it as you are. She***8217;s probably asking herself and her friends the same questions.

Distance yourself enough that she knows that you***8217;re still great friends and will always be no matter what happens. But don***8217;t put your heart on the railroad track before the train. Let her see that you will survive even though things aren***8217;t the way they used to be, or that you***8217;d wish that they still were.

[Baneblade]

Long distance relationships suck.

[Derfud]

hard on

:rofl:

oh, right, DHITB

[Hamma]

wth? :lol:

[TX3RN0BILL]

we are a pain in the ass

... So don't get into any... :bananasex situation...

[Kikinchikin]

That really sucks dude. I'd stay in contact for sure, don't sever everything just yet.

I can relate somewhat myself, actually. I met this girl at orientation back in July and we talked everyday on AIM and stuff. We met up on move in day and hung out a lot for the first couple days, but then as if I did something to put her off she started kinda ignoring me, and moreover paying attention to other people in the group. She also doesn't respond to me anymore when I IM her. It was better the last time we were together, but I have to wonder what she's thinking. I may be imagining some of this too, but nonetheless it's confounding/irritating.

Good luck with it though, I hope it works out well for you.

[Giovanni]

That really sucks dude. I'd stay in contact for sure, don't sever everything just yet.

I can relate somewhat myself, actually. I met this girl at orientation back in July and we talked everyday on AIM and stuff. We met up on move in day and hung out a lot for the first couple days, but then as if I did something to put her off she started kinda ignoring me, and moreover paying attention to other people in the group. She also doesn't respond to me anymore when I IM her. It was better the last time we were together, but I have to wonder what she's thinking. I may be imagining some of this too, but nonetheless it's confounding/irritating.

Good luck with it though, I hope it works out well for you.

She probably felt that you were getting too close. The key is not to push your luck... you can flirt but don't insist... eventually you'll have her.

Personally... unless you're sure you'd have a future with the girl, I'd say to give her to good ol' "Fuck'n'Dump". Basicly you sleep with her... and when the after sex talk comes you say "Look sweety... I didn't wanna say anything but I think it would be better if we see other people..." if she starts screaming and getting angry run like hell... if not... be more specific like: "It's not because I don't love you... it's because I hate you..." etc. etc. until she starts bitching.

Honestly if you see where this is going better be the dumper then the dumpee... don't fall into the affection game too... where since you had no affection recently due to her departure and being loyal you miss being close to someone... then when she comes back she softens you up by cuddling up to you...

If I've learnt something from my past few relationships its that it's just not fucking worth the pain. You have a choice, either you cause pain or you get pain...

The said pain has a tendency to fuck with your self-esteem to... so....

Anyways I'm rambling. Do whatever you damn well please.

[Peacemaker]

From what youve said infernus is basicly right. She basicly broke up with you to see if she could find someone at college. The issue probably is, she misses you alot. An unattended fire will burn its self out, exhausting the fuel. So will a relationship. Calling eachother every day is like squirting lighter fluid on it. It burns but it doesnt last long. I seriously suggest finding some medicine for your problem. And everyone knows the best kind of medicine for this is another girl.

[Kam]

(Firefly is right about least one thing Sappy men usally mean women have you in the palm of their hands)

:(

[Lonehunter]

PSU rocks


She comes in on Sunday, I work all weekend and she has to see family. So I'm only gonna get to see her one night. As much as I just want to be with her and have fun, I want more info on where this is going. Gonna be hard in one night.

I feel like she wants to keep me around but nothing serious incase she finds someone else.

Honestly I kinda feel the same way, but a little different. Even if we decide to stay "together" her being far away, no matter how much we're into each other, is extreme torture. I want to have her back when she's done with school but don't want to be tortured, at the same time don't want her to get with some other guy.


I find it very easy to be true, I speak my mind frequently. I'll just go with the flow. All I can do it see what happens right? Can't control this kinda thing.

[Firefly]

Seems I concur with Jenny and Firefly and whom ever else might have said the same thing in a different way. So I'll say the same thing again in yet a different way... :lol:

Don't drop her and run like an Anthrax filled envelope. You never know she might be feeling the same way as you. I wouldn't read too much into her not replying the same way emotionally as you did. Like Jenny and Firefly said, women can be and are most of the time over analytical. They think too much into something. So she might be trying to distance herself from you as a defense if you were to find someone else since she's not around. Sort of like she's preparing herself for the worst case scenario before it happens.

Remember she�s feeling the same way about it as you are. She�s probably asking herself and her friends the same questions.

Distance yourself enough that she knows that you�re still great friends and will always be no matter what happens. But don�t put your heart on the railroad track before the train. Let her see that you will survive even though things aren�t the way they used to be, or that you�d wish that they still were.

How do you know so much about women, if you're gay?