Top 5 most feared questions by men.

[Giovanni]

Here you will find 5 questions that married men, or just men in relationships, fear. Proper awnsers will be given.

Question 1: "What are you thinking about?"

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I have been a bit pensive darling. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

Inappropriate awnsers would include:


Nothing
Football
Any other woman
How fat you are
How would I spend the insurance money if you died


Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg: "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you."

Question 2: "Do you love me?"

The proper response is: "YES" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is necessary: "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include:


Oh yeah! Shit loads!
Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
Depends on what you mean by love
Does it really matter?
Uh?


Question 3: "Do I look fat?"

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"

Among the incorrect answers are:


Compared to what?
I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
No more then usual!
A little extra weight looks good on you.
I've seen fatter.
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


Question 4: "Do you think she is prettier than me?"

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"

Incorrect responses include:


Yes, but you have a better personality
Not prettier, but definitely thinner
Not as pretty as you when you were her age
Define "pretty"
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


Question 5: "What would you do if I died?"

A definite no-win question. (The real answer of course is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat".)

No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions.




That's about it, add your own if you wish! :p

Note: I was bored as hell.

[Squeeky]

Whenever my girlfriend talks back to me, I slap her across the mouf and I'm like:

"Bitch, speak when spoken to. Go make me some food."

And then I have a spaghetti dinner.

[Giovanni]

Whenever my girlfriend talks back to me, I slap her across the mouf and I'm like:

"Bitch, speak when spoken to. Go make me some food."

And then I have a spaghetti dinner.

:lol:

[LimpBIT]

Question 6: "Why do you always take a shower as soon as you get home?"

Correct Answer: Because I want to smell good for a long night of cuddling with you(Be sure to smile).

Incorrect Answers:

"Because I need to wash the smell of my secretary off me"
"I needed to jack off.... sex with you is just nausiating nowa"
"My nuts really smelled like girls perfume for some reason"
"The blood on my hands was starting to dry"
*Run out door*

[Infernus]

Question 6: "Why do you always take a shower as soon as you get home?"

Correct Answer: Because I want to smell good for a long night of cuddling with you(Be sure to smile).

Incorrect Answers:

"Because I need to wash the smell of my secretary off me"
"I needed to jack off.... sex with you is just nausiating nowa"
"My nuts really smelled like girls perfume for some reason"
"The blood on my hands was starting to dry"
*Run out door*


Incorrect Answer:

"The bathroom door locks!"

[Hamma]

:lol:

[OneManArmy]

http://www.break.com/index/what_guys_are_really_thinking2.html

[Giovanni]

:rofl: :lol:

[Peacemaker]

:lol: That would be very very disturbing if someone acctualy said that to a girls parents. It would still be disturbing if they even thought it. Still funny as hell.

[LimpBIT]

Omg :lol: :rofl: :lol:

[Rbstr]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/thoughts.png
http://www.xkcd.com/

[Peacemaker]

Rob. That comic. It is my new god.

[Rbstr]

Glad I can be a comic-vangelist

[Lartnev]

The church of stickmen?

[MattxMosh]

I always use the wrong answers, but my wife is different than most women, and gets a good laugh out of it.

But if ignore her the slightest bit I am in for it.

[Infernus]

Your kid is going to be one interesting person...

[Peacemaker]

Honestly you can answer any question by a woman with any of those answers as long as you pull it off right. This easily changes the subject of a conversation. Sarcasm and jokes can work to your advantage, but ya gotta becareful, too much or the wrong subject and it blows up in your face.

[Squeeky]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/thoughts.png


:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Peacemaker]

Yes. That one made me rofl too.

[Infernus]

Wait a second, How come this one didn't make number one?


"Is it in yet?"

[Peacemaker]

Because if you are asked that question you are not a man.

The ONLY exception would have to be if you were going FGS (Fat Girl Style).

[Kyonye]

Because if you are asked that question you are not a man.

The ONLY exception would have to be if you were going FGS (Fat Girl Style).

I'm not sure that should be allowed as an exception.. But it is not up to me.

On another note, That picture made me crack up. I have always wanted to say something like that to my girlfriends parents. And it would probably work with her father because he doesn't understand a word of english (she is from Europe).

[Lartnev]

Actually, many Europeans speak better English than we do :lol:

[Rbstr]

you do not "do good" you "do well"!

Unless your doing "good works" like helping the blind or somesuch.

I have no idea how that can irk me the way it does.

[Infernus]

I'll do you well!

[OneManArmy]

you mean, like the way it irks me when people end sentences with prepositions?

I'm not an english major by any stretch of the imagination, but fucking basics people.

[Peacemaker]

Oh, all that shit about proper sentance structure is a load of bullshit. Why should I conform to a standard that has no basis. I mean seriously, your going to conform to that standard just because your 12th grade english book says
"Hes smart because he follows all the rules." OMA, since when did you follow all the rules, as a fellow redneck I think it would be you who also calls it all bullshit.

Rob, I can understand him wanting to use perfect grammar all the time. Thats because Rob needs to show everyone around him how smart he is (No offence to you rob, it IS something to be proud of).

All in all this is a big way of saying that English class sucked and was horribly boring.

[Rbstr]

I don't use perfect grammar. I'm quite bad at writing. Just good and well stick out to me.

It can be very important for wording to be precise. I helped my uncle jack off a horse. As an example.
At base, the set of rules is there so things that we say make sense.
set. understand does can't what You not conform to of logical any kind

All the right words, no sense.

[Peacemaker]

Of course there has to be some order to them, grammar whores just piss me the fuck off -_-.

[OneManArmy]

eh fucking whatever. I just hate phrases like where you at? or where is it at? etc etc

sounds white trashy/ niggerish.

[Lartnev]

There's a difference between being a grammar nazi and pointing out mistakes that a 10 year old would know about. One of my pet peeves is saying should of instead of should have (I guess the confusion comes from should've sounds like should of).

[Rbstr]

Yeah, "where you at?" has to be the second most annoying thing on TV, after head on commercials.

[Peacemaker]

Ill agree with that.