Stuxnet

[MgFalcon]

I watched this, then I shat brix

http://etechmag.com/2011/06/23/stuxnet-anatomy-of-a-computer-virus-infographic-video.html

So why does Iran have a bigger virtual Army than /b/ ? Or for that matter bigger than the US??

[Firefly]

Because they have a country full of sissies who think it's better to hide behind the anonymity of the internet rather than grabbing a rifle and... well, their shitty fucking country doesn't have much of a real military, just some boats and jets and big fucking rockets and a bunch of rifles... so they can't very well launch an invasion. Being internet commandos is the next best thing.

[p0intman]

i vote we just drop a nuclear bomb on tehran and end it all quickly.

imo, of course. same for north korea

[LordReaver]

Malware is still only in its infancy. Just wait for the real cyber wars to start. It will be some dark days, I shit you not.

[Firefly]

Malware is still only in its infancy. Just wait for the real cyber wars to start. It will be some dark days, I shit you not.
I'm waiting for one of two things: zombie apocalypse and/or dark-ages-inducing EMP pulses a la "Escape from LA".

If it's the first, all of the fatties and dorks and wanna-bes who think they own a "real katana" and have been practicing their lightsaber moves are going to be welcome to join my army. Every army needs expendable cannon fodder, and katana-wielding dipshits is my brand of medieval skirmisher.

If it's the second, good old bolt-action and mechanical weapons will become staples, although ammo may become scarce since a lot of it is automated. At which point melee becomes important. I think Gordon Freeman had it right - crowbars. I think a blunt-force weapon is a lot more intimidating than an edged weapon. Edged weapons at least subconsciously promise a relatively swift end, where a blunt weapon like a bat or crowbar speaks of pain upon pain before you eventually are either bludgeoned to death or slip into a coma.

And dark days induced by cyber warfare, that's the new zombie apocalypse. Zombies are played out. But at the end of the day, cyber-viruses can't infect a baseball bat or a shotgun.

[krnasaur]

Firefly, what if its a big ass claymore, would you still call it a sissy sword?

And I'ma start my own crew up, we would move to somewhere in the carribean, start our own farm, and we will be set for life. zombie apocalypse, meet sunbathing and coconut milk, zombies cant swim can they?

[Firefly]

I didn't say it was a sissy sword. I alluded to two things: 1) all these idiots running around thinking they A) have a real katana and B) can really use it in a fight to the death; and 2) the blunt-force weapon being psychologically more intimidating than an edged weapon.

[krnasaur]

real men use lightsabers BTW

[LordReaver]

Firefly, what if its a big ass claymore, would you still call it a sissy sword?

Your claymore is probably just as cheap as those katanas. Real quality swords cost hundreds of dollars.

Humorously, I was gifted an Anduril sword (Aragorn's in LOTR). It's so cheap the cross-guard broke before I even got it.

[Firefly]

Your claymore is probably just as cheap as those katanas. Real quality swords cost hundreds of dollars.
REAL katanas cost thousands of dollars. They are also collectors items, so only a completely daft moron would be running around taking swings with it regardless of how real it is. High-quality replicas cost hundreds of dollars. Here's a hint: if it says "Made in Pakistan" or "Made in India", it's made of scrap metal which was most likely previously part of a slum hut. Also, if you bought it at a RenFest? Replica. If it says it's real and they call it a longsword? Replica.

But now that I'm thinking about it... let's pretend you have a real honest-to-God claymore, krnasaur. Even if you can actually lift it and engage in sustained combat for more than twenty seconds, I can pretty much guarantee you that, *IF* the zombie apocalypse comes and you bust that thing out, you will die in a multi-zombie encounter. Claymores are not meant for mass melee encounters. I don't care what D&D says, and I don't care what Braveheart depicted. There's a reason that only barbarians used them, and there's a reason why successful knights used something a helluva lot smaller and lighter.

Now, again - for the zombie apocalypse, my cannon fodder armies will need stuff like this. It's a diversion so the rest of us can escape to a large ship (zombies don't float, can't swim).

[LordReaver]

You can buy good quality swords for several hundred dollars. It's when you go custom, or historic that it shoots into the thousands. I agree though, that the thousand dollar plus ones are far superior in general.

Now, are said zombies all over the world, or just a certain area that needs escaping from? If they are all over, water going vessels wont work well. You need at least a single farm somewhere. If you just need to leave the area, you can't beat aircraft.

[MgFalcon]

All I have is a big ass machete...

Oddly enough I was stumbling yesterday and found this website: http://zombietools.net/tools/

I don't know of the quality of their products.. but seeing that this topic has moved to zombie apocalypse now, I figured that this was necessary

[Peacemaker]

I took a lawnmower apart and put it on my head. Head butting zombies now wins.

[firecrackerNC]

Zombies dont swim or float, but they do walk into water and get washed up on islands still very much alive, so even years to come when supposedly all the zombies are dead, theres still thousands, millions maybe, under the water. So even islands aren't COMPLETELY safe, though a better option than most probably. And just buy like a dozen swords from cold steel and when they break switch em out, only like 300-600 for a katana.

[Baneblade]

i vote we just drop a nuclear bomb on tehran and end it all quickly.

imo, of course. same for north korea

Except leaving Tehran as it is will solve the problem within 5 to 10 years without creating a new massive influx of reasons to kill 'us'.