Faction Stereotypes

[Ratstomper]

I know people are all a buzz about the spec surveys and things, but we still have some time to kill before beta. So, why not compile a list off all the factional stereotypes (true or untrue, but mostly untrue and biased exaggerations) the community has or can come up with? Try to make them witty and fun to read and we'll add them to the list. For starters...

New Conglomerate
Freedom nuts and hillbillies.
Have the biggest...ordnance.
Corporate lackeys.

Terran Republic
Couldn't hit a barrel if they were standing in it.
Think the Nazis were snappy dressers.
Horrible PR department

Vanu Sovereignty
Kool-aid drinkers
Anime (gundam) nerds
LOVE disco and dubstep.

[Sledgecrushr]

A good vanu max
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eFHUd6YvKGc/TqcbKKrlWTI/AAAAAAAAAdw/zLRY6IVRPw8/s1600/DE+W+WIP+1.JPG

[ThermalReaper]

Anime (gundam) nerds

You got a problem with gundam?!

Anyways, this could be a fun thread before:
1) Someone goes "Duuh dis ins't a blog."(No offence Bags)
2) Someone locks it or moves it.

[Landtank]

VS: People who don't understand the "if it ain't broken, don't fix it" theory.

NC: People who love life, liberty, justice, freedom, understanding, and superior weaponry.

TR: People who hate life, liberty, justice, freedom, understanding and superior weaponry.

[Ratstomper]

You got a problem with gundam?!

Anyways, this could be a fun thread before:
1) Someone goes "Duuh dis ins't a blog."(No offence Bags)
2) Someone locks it or moves it.

You'd think Hamma would encourage people to make generalized shots in this thread instead of making personal ones in others. Besides, it's just some fun. We may still have quite the wait and we can only read so many threads that say the same thing before we go nuts. :doh:

[ThermalReaper]

Alright, my shot.

TR: We love everyone... Which is why we kill demonstrators.
NC: I love freedom! O hai corperations, oh sure, take control of my life.
VS: NC is fine, but are we supposed to be afraid of your Detachable box magazine TR?(No, I'm not going to let that go.)

[Dagron]

mostly untrue and biased exaggerations

Haha, i like the way you think. :lol: Anyway, here we go...

VS: Alien-parasite-infested cattle people.
I heard they're gooey and smelly inside their bug-eyed armors.

TR: Lazy, burocratic, blinded-by-power zombies.
Also they can't hit a thing, it's like they're Storm Troopers in red.

NC: Conspiracy theory nutjobs with an unhealthy boner for freedom.
Many of them are just sellouts, they'd push their mothers under a bus for a grilled cheese.

[Dougnifico]

VS - Hippies
NC - Hippies
TR - Patriots made from pure awesomeness with weapons forged by Odin himself

[Bags]

VS - max abusers
TR - foot zergers
NC - SA kings

[disky]

I've been thinking about the portrayal of each faction, and while I've been a dyed-in-the-wool NC player since day one, they really aren't the good guys that they're made out to be. They're basically naive conservative republicans puppeted by major corporations. They're actually a lot like the southern United States during the Civil War...minus the whole slavery thing. Freedom is great, but if what you're really fighting for is the freedom for a big company to do as it sees fit, then is it really freedom, or just a less obvious yoke?

The Terrans are just trying to keep the status quo, which is to say a harsh dystopian regime bent on total control of the minds of the people they subjugate. They sure are well kitted out, though.

Now that I've taken the time to really consider them all, I think I prefer the ethos of the Vanu the most, to be honest. They don't want to be part of the fight, they just want to learn and grow. I will never play them however, because they look silly.

[Cuross]

NC - Freedom exists in the person with the most money and he'll tell you exactly what you're going to do to get it.

TR - They want things done their way and by God they'll have it done their way.

VS - We actually don't have an issue with those other two guys, but they've been keeping us back from potential so we'll break off anyway and protect our research :) Oh, and we have lasers and floating tanks.

[disky]

I guess I missed the point of this post, so here:

NC: "Freedom isn't free, it costs folks like you and me."

TR: "What we have here is a failure to communicate."

VS: Something from a Rudy Rucker novel.

[Top Sgt]

TR-mistaken for pray & spray really kept peace for so long. Disciplined group
VS-Bunch of Barneys praying to some alien tech shit while doing Dubstep
NC- Bunch of reject Smurf wannabe weekend warriors/Misguided & Fooled

[Sledgecrushr]

TR-a dying ideal

VS-flashlights and floaty tanks

NC-freedom fighting underdogs

[OutlawDr]

NC - cousin fu*ker
TR - uncle fu*ker
VS - alien fu*ker

[CutterJohn]

VS - Awesome. If the person is not VS, then they suck.
NC - Awesome. If the person is not NC, then they suck.
TR - Awesome. If the person is not TR, then they suck.


Quite impressive how strong those tribal 'us vs other' instincts are.

[Spiritbeast]

NC- My balls itch cause im wearing hand me down pants

TR- My balls itch and i outrank you so scratch them

VS- I dont have balls, *disco disco*

[Ratstomper]

NC- My balls itch cause im wearing hand me down pants

TR- My balls itch and i outrank you so scratch them

VS- I dont have balls, *disco disco*

:lol:

[LayZ]

VS - Brotherhood of Steel

NC - New California Republic

TR - The Enclave

[greenberetdelta]

VS= Mechanicus
TR= United Earth Directorate
NC= Ron Paul's personal army

[Nemeses]

NC - cousin fu*ker
TR - uncle fu*ker
VS - ur mom fu*ker

Listen I'm not shaggimg my uncle :eek: got it!:rofl:

[Enzo]

VS: Brain-washed cult members ready to drink the Koolaid and give the world over to Skynet.

NC: Corporate lackeys. They fight either out of ignorance or greed under the guise of "Freedom".

TR: A shining beacon within the darkness. They are humanities last hope for salvation amidst the chaos.


Totally unbiased opinion.

[FastAndFree]

VS - Awesome. If the person is not VS, then they suck.
NC - Awesome. If the person is not NC, then they suck.
TR - Awesome. If the person is not TR, then they suck.


Quite impressive how strong those tribal 'us vs other' instincts are.

Aye, I expected more from this thread

[Canaris]

VS - Awesome. If the person is not VS, then they suck.
NC - Awesome. If the person is not NC, then they suck.
TR - Awesome. If the person is not TR, then they suck.


Quite impressive how strong those tribal 'us vs other' instincts are.

nail on head with this one

[Kran De Loy]

NC - Ignorant Idealists blinded by a temporary alliance between various corporations only held together by current necessity and highly questionable ethics. Reasons for fighting are inconclusive. Will likely result in warlordism at worst and Corporate owned feudal-states at best.
To the other factions: Simple-minded sheeple incapable of thinking beyond the moment.

TR - A government capable of enforcing peace over an undefined time frame. Law enforcement mentality. Likely little to no social movement. Reasons for fighting, to suppress the splinter factions from continuing the war and return humanity to peace under one rule.
To the other factions: An oppressive dystopian totalitarian dictatorship.

VS - Idealistic Futurists that desire to advance humanity as quickly and widely as possible using secrets gleaned from alien technology to reach this goal. No open desires for controlling humanity, only the advancement of it. Reasons for fighting, to stop conflict while preserving the possibility to advance all of humanity together.
To the other factions: Psychopathic mad scientists bent on mutating humanity.

[ThermalReaper]

It's just good clean fun John... I hope.

[Xyntech]

TR:
You will be baked, and then there will be cake

NC:
The cake is a lie!

VS:
http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/1802/piexd.png

[kaffis]

This thread is a lot more fun when the respondents follow directions. Just saying.

Aside from that, I've got nothing particularly witty/amusing to contribute in the vein of the thread.

[Cufox]

TR - Peace through martial law. Neo-Kenyesian economics is great when your economy is based on military-industrial complex and constant warfare. Walls of lead.

NC - Don't like being told what to do. Breaking away allows for social class movement. Corporate lapdogs. Laissez-faire economics. Freedom to be in another hierarchy. Do more with less to maintain profit.

VS - Transhumanist weirdos. He who controls the tech, controls the future. Lasers. Science freaks out those that do not understand.

[willaguy]

TR got heart.
NC got gut.
VS got brains.

[Ratstomper]

This thread is a lot more fun when the respondents follow directions. Just saying.

Aside from that, I've got nothing particularly witty/amusing to contribute in the vein of the thread.

This.

Remember guys (and gals), this thread is mostly about cracking jokes at the expense of others, not reiterating the actual comparisons of the empire. If I see points that are popular and funny, I'll add them to the list. Also people should try to keep them concise so I can put them in list point form. :D

TR:
You will be baked, and then there will be cake

NC:
The cake is a lie!

VS:
http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/1802/piexd.png

:lol:

[Canaris]

suprized the the classic sterotype hasn't been listed

Elmos
Smurfs
& Barneys Oh my!

heheh ;)

[Warborn]

Nazis were snappy dressers. Hugo Boss made their uniforms, man.

[Ratstomper]

NC
http://www.inglouriousbasterds-movie.com/images/gallery/img2.jpg

TR
http://www.city-data.com/forum/attachments/politics-other-controversies/78513-nazi-play-money-angry-hitler.jpg

VS
http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/932-derp-sheen.jpg


Reducto ad Hitlerum doesn't apply. Because I said so. :D

[Eyeklops]

TR - Adolescents that think the black & red color schema is "l33t." Due to lack of aim, the gods (devs) saw fit to give them tons of extra bullets per clip to compensate. They work well in teams, and normally play for objectives (land), which is surprising given that the average Terran soldier is 13 years old. It is extremely rare to ever 1v1 a Terran, best you can hope for is 2v1.

NC - "Easy mode". NC players are generally dirty old men with the reaction time of a sloth on heroin and need the largest gun to win. Because they have such overpowered weapons, they use no strategy other than "zerg in the door and triple-shot the first thing you see." The side effect of the overpowerd weaponry is that the NC cannot see past the end of the gun they are holding. They wouldn't leave an interlink farm if their mother was laying in front of them dying. NC CR5 global chat is particularly retarded, much more so than the TR.

VS - Highly articulate and cunning, the Vanu soldiers are the most formidable of the battlefield. Most of the Vanu weaponry is underpowered, or in the worst case, broken (Lasher doesn't lash). Because of this, the average Vanu player is a highly skilled FPS veteran that is seeking a challenge and doesn't want "easy mode". They do however, appear to exhibit more "elitist" attitudes than the other empires.

[Xyntech]

The empires weapon philosophies, expressed in religious analogy:

TR:
Spray and pray.

NC:
The finger of god.

VS:
Yes! Yes! Jesus H. tapdancing Christ... I have seen the light!

http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/3174/bluesbrothers1.jpg


Now I just need to come up with one that doesn't involve an image for the VS stereotype... :D

[Ratstomper]

The empires weapon philosophies, expressed in religious analogy:

TR:
Spray and pray.

NC:
The finger of god.

VS:
Yes! Yes! Jesus H. tapdancing Christ... I have seen the light!

http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/3174/bluesbrothers1.jpg


Now I just need to come up with one that doesn't involve an image for the VS stereotype... :D

haha, it's ok. Any funny stuff is welcome. Plus 5 points for the blues brothers reference. :D

[Gonefshn]

TR: beep. beep. beep. missle lock. missle lock.

NC: Is that tree shooting guided rockets?

VS: Lasers. come at me.

[Senyu]

TR: Judge Dread

NC: Macgyver

VS: Bill Nye the Science Guy

[kaffis]

TR: Judge Dread

NC: Macgyver

VS: Bill Nye the Science Guy
Win.

Also, to point out -- it's way more awesome to be self deprecating and/or objective than to make this another epeen thread. We've got like half a dozen trash talk threads for that. This one was about making fun of *everybody*, not to see how rosy a light you could paint yourself in.

[Vamoozi]

NC are blue

TR are red

VS is blue AND red COMBINED!

[maddoggg]

NC=GDI
TR=NOD
VS=Scrin

[shadar]

Haha, i like the way you think. :lol: Anyway, here
NC: Conspiracy theory nutjobs with an unhealthy boner for freedom.
Many of them are just sellouts, they'd push their mothers under a bus for a grilled cheese.

No not for a grilled cheese but maybe for two with some VS sauce and a TR max bun

[Aberdash]

TR - dakka dakka dakka
VS - Xenarite
NC - Tau

[shadar]

TR: Sharing is caring thats why were shotting so many bullets at you, pass me the beer.

NC: These bullets cost more than you do so each of them have to count, remeber to take his wallet after you kill him.

VS: Look at all the pretty lights, did yall start the rave without me?

[Dagron]

remeber to take his wallet after you kill him

QFT.

[ratfusion]

TR: Loyalists. Attempting to maintain order without the resources to quell rebellions before they begin. Shitty PR department, easily slandered as oppressive.

NC: Mercantile opportunists. Trying to seize control in a vacuum of power. Backed by mercenaries. Good PR department, sold to the more easily persuaded as freedom fighters. Functionally terrorists.

VS: What happens if Scientology was real.


Modern day equivalents:

TR: Nationalist China (Taiwan). Rightful claim, but lacking the power to bring the whole country back under their control.

NC: Generic South American drug cartel trying to seize control of the country, buying/threatening the population to help them as required.

VS: Branch Davidians / Scientologists.

[Ratstomper]

TR: Shitty PR department

:lol:

[ITOS]

http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h18/ItosAtio/PS_pony.png

/thread

[Mr DeCastellac]

NC: Hilly billy morons who have to spray and pray, rather than learn how to aim a gun.

TR: Trolls. Trolls everywhere.

VS: For some reason, animal murderers? We are scientists and lovers of technology, we have to reason no kill critters. Go join PETA, doofus.

[jakaul]

Fear not, my brothers and sisters. I have studied each empire extensively, both in their natural habitats and in the safety of their sanctuaries. Below are the conclusions of my scientific study, double fact checked by no less than 17 independent researchers.

TR
Fall in line soldier, you do what your commander tells you. Look sharp in your goggles and padded helmet; keep those boots clean! These guys follow the rules. Some people might call them lemmings of order, but I prefer to call this discipline. Sure, every now and then the lead lemming is going to run your entire group off the cliff to a spectacular death, but your boots will be clean and those pants WILL be pressed. In the field, they attack with ordered determination following the lead of their respective commanders. Their discipline can be easily seen when they are footzerging from a tower to bring their righteous wrath upon the enemy base. In fact, discipline is so strong, every TR soldier has an MCG and striker loadout in his Rexo armor, striking fear into any enemy that has his sound turned up. The cacophony of BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEPs have been known to deafen unprepared defenders to the point that the defenders are forced to massacre the footzerg in grim silence after turning in game sounds off.

Luckily, the TR commanders gave their troops lots of bullets and guns that shoot lots of bullets. This is the most effective way to make the enemy empire hide in a base and have tea while waiting for Church Spray and Pray to conclude services. In their time away from battle, TR soldiers shine their armor, shine their boots, and wait for orders while keeping conversation to a minimum.

NC
They're rebels with a cause. The cause is to be rebellious against everyone else's cause. Sometimes they rebel against their own rebellious cause. NC Commanders are often heard asking "What the **** are you guys doing?" to which his soldiers respond "We ain't gotta listen to you!". They're the honey badgers of Planetside, they don't give a shit. Oh, did I just shoot that friendly with my vanguard? I don't give a shit, you ain't my boss. Get owned by my big gun.

The NC are so obsessed with big guns that they failed to realize that training soldiers in how to hit targets with big guns was an important aspect of battle. When command discovered this, they did the next best thing - make a big suit of armor with a really big gun and a shield to protect the soldier while he spammed pellets to every corner of the base. Eventually, something will be hit. Friend or foe, it doesn't matter because they don't give a shit. In fact, they went a step further and put the biggest ass gun on top of the walking retardmobile (BFR) and made sure it was easy to aim and easy to kill with. To date, the biggest target killed by the NC was balance.

Everything's easy when you don't give a shit. And you have shields.

VS
Lasers. Flying suits of armor. Hovering shit. It doesn't get much better than this. You even got a gun that shot giant disco balls of death. These balls of death apparently were very angry when they would hit an enemy because it would lash out and own a couple more for good measure. The NC and TR couldn't handle the VS balls, so they inserted loyalists into the VS scientific ranks whose sole mission was to make the balls of the VS less angry and lashful. It took years and years of covert ball taming for the VS balls to be pacified, but the mission was accomplished. A negative side effect was that the balls discharged much quicker, which we can attribute to the years of experience honing the TR and NC ball taming technique. During this period, the TR developed their fashionable goggles. The NC, however, appeared content to simply remove their helmets.

When the VS aren't delivering their disco balls to the faces of TR and NC, they spend their free time traveling the different worlds (or continents, if you must). They play games such as Destroy the Generator and Camp the Airpad. Spawn in Maxsuits was a favorite of some outfits. The VS are a fickle group, however. Their tactics often change depending on what Interlink shows up as bright and shiny, so they may often disappear from an offensive front when the Purple warning light goes off.

[Notser]

NC = Bad
VS = Bad
TR = Good

[AzureWatcher]

TR = Antz Cosplayers

NC = LARPers who too poor to use actual armor so they use cardboard instead.

VS = Amazing, beautiful, wonderful and absolutely fashionable people with armor that supports the body's features in the most ergonomic ways possible.

[ProudNTrue]

THIS IS ALL PRETTY SIMPLE REALY SO LISTEN UP!!!!!!!!!!!

TR is America under the Republicrats. You think them FEMA camps ain't real? WELL GET REAL! The TR is the CIA, the TSA, and the NWO all rolled into one. :evil:

The VS are all a bunch a hippie-dippie San Franciscans. Yeah, you just keep wearing them purple iPhones and workin' on your "science" projects. Real tech gets put to use, not used to sit around smokin' dope and pinin' for the age of aquarius. :cry:


You see the NC is like Nevada. Ain't no reason for taxes cuz we got gamblin', hookin', and minin'. Don't like it? I don't see you complainin' when you come here to spend your OBAMA MONEY on slots. Guess what built our roadways? That's right - you're hypocrisy.



FREEDOM WORKS! I been to Elko.


It's called a boom and bust economy. You find the resources. You haul 'em outta the ground and you buy a shiny new pickup with your share. You don't like them pansy CEOs bringin' in more'n you? Well its their business! They make the jobs that pay for YOUR WELFARE!

Don't like it? Tough. Start your OWN business. If you ain't rich enough you ain't workin' hard enough.

[Gugabalog]

Bwahahahahaha, I would troll and flame you so hard if I didn't assume you were being sarcastic.

[Neurotoxin]

TR think that staying the course will somehow lead to the new leadership making things good for them. Even though its been proven throughout history that communist governments that are based on a sole leader often go astray when the leader dies. Connery died, and so the new leadership stepping up are just using soldiers for their own draconian power grab.

NC were always about the profits. The formation of NC was based on trying to get at Vanu research for profits. NC soldiers don't realize they aren't the ones who are going to be making the profit, and just like any soldier in any military ever, they are nothing but a tool to the oligarchy which they are paid to defend.

There's a lot of VS who can't look beyond the shiny new appeal of a new faith to get at the real things Vanu was trying to teach. The first is technology, the second is unity. But no, some of our ranks are just all "The word of Vanu" this and "Vanu praises / is disappointed by" that. It is nice to be positive, but not when they lose sight of the goals in pursuit of faith, with all due respect, in an alien.



Now then..... to get more specific, TR eat whatever they are told to eat, NC eat whatever they can get their hands on, and VS eat fresh clean hydroponic vegetables and one cow we keep respawning for more meat.

TR soldiers have years of formal training with their formal equipment, and are no better than a rabble of rebels and a group of scientists. NC have been informally fighting the power, and have enough practice to compete with the TR military. VS just put on the suit and we're like instant Dr. Gordon Freeman, able to fend off a trained military and a buncha crazy rebels with absolutely no previous training whatsoever.

TR shoot first and ask questions later. NC shoot first and don't ask questions because their ears are sill ringing from the weapon they fired. VS already asked all the questions that TR and NC could answer for us, we're just shooting now.

[berzerkerking]

So Epic

[Gugabalog]

TR think that staying the course will somehow lead to the new leadership making things good for them. Even though its been proven throughout history that communist governments that are based on a sole leader often go astray when the leader dies. Connery died, and so the new leadership stepping up are just using soldiers for their own draconian power grab.

NC were always about the profits. The formation of NC was based on trying to get at Vanu research for profits. NC soldiers don't realize they aren't the ones who are going to be making the profit, and just like any soldier in any military ever, they are nothing but a tool to the oligarchy which they are paid to defend.

There's a lot of VS who can't look beyond the shiny new appeal of a new faith to get at the real things Vanu was trying to teach. The first is technology, the second is unity. But no, some of our ranks are just all "The word of Vanu" this and "Vanu praises / is disappointed by" that. It is nice to be positive, but not when they lose sight of the goals in pursuit of faith, with all due respect, in an alien.



Now then..... to get more specific, TR eat whatever they are told to eat, NC eat whatever they can get their hands on, and VS eat fresh clean hydroponic vegetables and one cow we keep respawning for more meat.

TR soldiers have years of formal training with their formal equipment, and are no better than a rabble of rebels and a group of scientists. NC have been informally fighting the power, and have enough practice to compete with the TR military. VS just put on the suit and we're like instant Dr. Gordon Freeman, able to fend off a trained military and a buncha crazy rebels with absolutely no previous training whatsoever.

TR shoot first and ask questions later. NC shoot first and don't ask questions because their ears are sill ringing from the weapon they fired. VS already asked all the questions that TR and NC could answer for us, we're just shooting now.

This.

[MightyMan]

In hippy new (pussy) coglamorate there is friendly fire.
In (soviet) terran republic they just use piercing shots. *think bout' it*