Omg....

[Squeeky]

This is absurd :eek:

Absurdness (http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/parents.htm)

[TimberWolf2K]

"9. Have you caught your child Masturbating? If you walk into your son's bedroom without knocking and he's in there with his pants down holding his erect penis, he's probably Masturbating."

:rofl:

Christians all need to be locked in one big chirch and left there to preach their Jibba jabba to eachother till they all realise its BS and ask to go home

since when was masterbation a Sin?
I dont remember reading "If those does bashith thien bishop, thow shall be cast into the fiery pits of Hell for all time"

.................Assbaskets....


Nice find Squeeks

[Zatrais]

:rofl:

Amusing people.

[MrVicchio]

OMG if you can't see parady for what it is you need to be forced to watch wierd al videos for 7 days with no sleep.

[PR24]

Preventing and Treating Teen Masturbation

If your child Masturbates, there are steps you can take to stop the problem. If your child doesn't Masturbate, there are things you can do to prevent it.
1. Remove your child's bedroom door

:rofl:

[Squeeky]

My mom could take off my door, She could tape my hands behind my back, I got my feet like that guy who was born without no hands. Thats how he does it, There are no precautions anyone could take to prevent me from masturbating ;)

[RandoMTerroR]

Originally posted by Squeeky
My mom could take off my door, She could tape my hands behind my back, I got my feet like that guy who was born without no hands. Thats how he does it, There are no precautions anyone could take to prevent me from masturbating ;)

Exept maybe for cutting your willie off...

Id say that would do the trick, no?

:D

[Squeeky]

:scared: :scared: :ugh: That would suck :lol:

[Sputty]

Squeeky would take his disattached penis and still try to masturbate

[Squeeky]

:lol:

[Mtx]

chasity belt.

[Robot]

i bet this is all the work of those lesbians

[Sputty]

But...hotT lesbians owns all. Except Squeeky's ass!

[Civilian]

When I first read this, I thought it was a joke. But I went to the homepage, and they are actually serious about this. They should change the title to "Warning signs that child is an adolescent". And, I guarantee you, this graph is not based on factual statistics:

http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Senate/2680/realgraph.gif

This should answer your question Timber:

Myth: Masturbation is not immoral.
Reality: Read your Bible. God was so offended when Onan spilled his seed upon the ground that God struck Onan dead! It is true that Onan wasn't Masturbating, but the point is that God hates it when men waste sperm, no matter what the reason.

Oh if I could only hack, this page would be so much worse than the Queens of the Stoneage is satan music page.

*going to masturbate 6 or 7 times today in protest ;) *

[Doobz]

that is the single most funny page i have ever read, i laughed so hard :rofl:

[Solitudinem]

oh my god, ive seen that page before... those people are not christians, or anything resembling any other religion... God created the world by masturbating, don't they know that? :rolleyes: ....funniest thing I read in there was:

anything with a "Rock," "Country" or "Gospel" beat to it (even if it is labeled "Christian!") is designed to incite sexual desire and summon demons from the Pit of Hell straight into your nice little Suburban home! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[1024]

4. Does your child listen to "Rock And Roll" music? If a teenager has rebelled against God far enough to listen to the Devil's Music (http://www.clidoris.com/) , then he or she has almost certainly rebelled enough to try Masturbation.


WHAT THE FUCK?!?!


waht hte hlel does masturbation have to do with Rock? And it's hella fucked up that they're targeting nad putting rock music down, in my opinion it's the BEST kind of music, ever.

[MrVulcan]

That is just insane....

I am a christian, but this some of the things *such as the "equipment " is just ... nothing short of real torture*
These people are way way off the deep end.

I think that this is funny:
3. Kill your television. There is absolutely nothing of value on television. Everyone should be reading their Bibles or working, not watching filth like Baywatch or Star Trek.

What about the 700 club, or the TV churches? :lol: forgot them did they? and star trek is evil, watch out!

or this:
7. Does your child wear fashionable clothing... :lol: if you want to look nice for people, you are evil! :lol:

and the best:
2. Is your teenager depressed?
:lol: of couse has nothing to do with locking him in the basement and watching him/her on camera 24/7, and treating them like they are diablo himself :lol:

Spike: the idea that rock was evil is a very old one, it comes from the 60s, where on of the main ways they tested a teen's charactor to see if they were a good or bad person was if they liked rock music.

[curvedinfinity]

the irony here is that this person knows html, and if they thought all that was evil, why the hell do they have a host and a site on the net? :lol:

[curvedinfinity]

holy shit this stuff is funny haha http://free.freespeech.org/shockingtruth/antimast.html

[curvedinfinity]

HAHAHAHA ... man i think these people are perverted or something. http://www.worldwidewank.com/generator.html

[Sputty]

No offense to anyone religous as I don't think anyone here is as fanatical as these people are. While, this may be a joke the links thy offered are real. I mean, how sad can people be? These people sound as bad as the muslims who are stoning people and I think if they had the chance they'd kill atheists and liberals...

[curvedinfinity]

I was reading their responses to people's mails. It is rather comical how whenever someone who is actually smart comes along, they just say something along the lines of "You are wrong and are going to burn in hell" as opposed to actualy responding. I cant believe people like this exist in the world. They even go as far as to imply that www.theonion.com is a factual site.

[QuakCow]

well..what can you expect with around 6 billion peoples in the worlld...it only tkaes a few to make a website..it also holds true that it takes a few idiots and a few whiney asshole to screw over the whole human population...ok..im done

[Jimbo]

They way I see it, everyone is entitled to an opinion. It may be an idiotic and ludicrous opinion but they're entitled to it. Now, if they tried to push those whacko ideas on me and my family then I'd have to open a can of whoop-ass on them.

[1024]

Originally posted by MrVulcan
Spike: the idea that rock was evil is a very old one, it comes from the 60s, where on of the main ways they tested a teen's charactor to see if they were a good or bad person was if they liked rock music.


....ehhhh...ya, i know, just defending my rock music.


:rock: :rock: :rock: :rock: :rock:
:rock: :rock: :rock: :rock: :rock:
:rock: :rock: :rock: :rock: :rock:
:rock: :rock: :rock: :rock: :rock:

[Ginzue]

:rofl: What makes that site even more funny is that when I read it I was rocking out to Marilyn Manson :rofl:

[NeoTassadar]

"Helmet of Pure Thought". Must contain laughter...:) :D :lol: :rofl:
I think that thing would kill me in a matter of minutes.

[Jaged]

I think that someone who can hack should bring this site down. I am not kidding. Bring this site down.

[Lexington_Steele]

Did any of you actually think that was a serious site?

That was obvioulsy a joke site.

You can tell by the way they post the mail they recieve including the hatemail and by the way they respond to the mail.

The joke is on the people that think it is a serious site.

[TheSHiFT]

:lol:
so thats why im liberal

[mikkyT]

5. Are there semen stains on your son's bed sheets or underwear? There's only one way they could have gotten there! Line up all of your sons at least twice a day for a family Prayer Meeting and Underwear Check!

They obviously havent heard of "wet dreams". A normal bodily function of pubesent males leading to an emission of semen whilst sleeping. THis is not linked to errotic thoughts.

Anyway, as usual you guys have missed the point of this website

IT IS A JOKE GUYS.

Amazing how such subtile humour escapes the grasp of many peeps.

[simba]

11. Put boxing gloves on your children's hands at bedtime. Boxing gloves are pretty hard to take off without someone's help. If you do this you can sleep soundly, knowing that your children aren't touching themselves in an impure way.


:rofl:
HAHAHAHA, GG SQUEEKY! :p
That shit was 2 funny :lol: