MrVicchio
2003-04-11, 10:14 AM
Top 8 Idiots of 2002
> >
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 1
> > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
> > at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
> > upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
> > quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
> > would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
> > calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to
> > mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
> > order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
> > daughter into the Emergency room right away.
> > Idiot # 2
> > Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
> > steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it
> > out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
> > Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out
> > that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon which
> > activated when the raft was inflated.
> > They are no longer employed at Boeing.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 3
> > A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
> > downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
> > stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting
> to
> > give his note to the teller, he began to worry
> > that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
before
> > he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
> > the street to Wells Fargo.
> > After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo
> > teller. He read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't
> > the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
his
> > stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip
and
> > that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go
> back
> > to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and
left.
> > He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
> Bank
> > of America.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 4
> > A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured
> > his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
> > mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent
> > the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received
> > a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
> > handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 5
> > Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
the
> > cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
> > robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
> > shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused
> and
> > said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
> > The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
> > because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his
driver's
> > license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it
> > over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch
in
> > the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
> > promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber
> that
> > he got off the license.
> > They arrested the robber two hours later.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 6
> > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> > revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
> > When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 7
> > Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head
> > at the window.
> > The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
> > knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of
> > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 8
> > Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into
> > a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am flashed a gun and
> demanded
> > cash.
> > The clerk turned him down because he said the couldn't open the
> > cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
> > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
> > man, frustrated, walked away
> >
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 1
> > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
> > at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
> > upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
> > quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
> > would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
> > calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to
> > mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
> > order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
> > daughter into the Emergency room right away.
> > Idiot # 2
> > Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
> > steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it
> > out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a
> > Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out
> > that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon which
> > activated when the raft was inflated.
> > They are no longer employed at Boeing.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 3
> > A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a
> > downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a
> > stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting
> to
> > give his note to the teller, he began to worry
> > that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
before
> > he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
> > the street to Wells Fargo.
> > After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo
> > teller. He read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
wasn't
> > the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
his
> > stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip
and
> > that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go
> back
> > to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and
left.
> > He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at
> Bank
> > of America.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 4
> > A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured
> > his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
> > mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent
> > the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received
> > a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
> > handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 5
> > Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
the
> > cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
> > robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
> > shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused
> and
> > said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
> > The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
> > because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his
driver's
> > license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it
> > over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch
in
> > the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
> > promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber
> that
> > he got off the license.
> > They arrested the robber two hours later.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 6
> > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
> > revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
> > When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 7
> > Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head
> > at the window.
> > The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
> > knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of
> > Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
> >
> >
> > Idiot # 8
> > Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into
> > a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 am flashed a gun and
> demanded
> > cash.
> > The clerk turned him down because he said the couldn't open the
> > cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
> > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The
> > man, frustrated, walked away