Funeral of a left nut [Archive] - PlanetSide Universe

Spider

2003-05-04, 04:27 PM

Friday a couple of friends and I went tagballing

(similar to paint ball but modified guns for rubber bullets the size of a 5 cents in diameter)

The worst that could happen... did happen one of my friends got shot 8 time between the legs by some morons that thought it would be funny (at 6 feet distance :ugh: )

Now he left the place in ambulance we didnt know what was that wrong... but today we learned that he got his left nut busted...

Let's have a moment of silence for the nut that's gone to heaven!

:sick:

Squeeky

2003-05-04, 04:35 PM

:scared: :ugh: That is so sick...That would SUCK to be that guy

Navaron

2003-05-04, 04:44 PM

If you're a real friend you'll hunt those guys down and crush their skulls with louisvilles.

Spider

2003-05-04, 04:52 PM

The guy is already getting sewed by the company for breaking the rules but my friend can't sue the guy because he signed the paper that says that he will respect the rules and that he understands the dangers involved :ugh:

So basicly if you break the rules there you get sewed (unless it minor like not dying after one bullet) but ya can't sue anyone that hurts you severely because you signed the damned paper :mad:

But our small group is trying to find out who he his to beat them (aka kick him in the balls with steel tipped boots) :p

Yuyi

2003-05-04, 04:53 PM

If that would of been me. I would bury mine in a nice little place in my yard and get a platinum tombstone. Then i would sell my house and buy the largest tank i could afford and slaughter every motherfucker that did that shit to me.

Daedalus

2003-05-04, 04:57 PM

Holy crap do you realise how much that would HURT???
Those morons shoud get a biig fine or at least a whipping...:eek:

Navaron

2003-05-04, 04:59 PM

Find the guy, hold him down on the ground face first- and take a phone book that has been ripped in half (about 300 pgs) and lay it across the small of his back. DON'T HIT HIS BACK BONE - but smash the shit out of everything on each side of it through the phone book. You'll fuck up his insides- but they can't ever trace it to a direct form of assault. Now THAT'S assault brotha.

(I'm of course, for legal reasons - not advocating this course of action for anyone anywhere)

Squeeky

2003-05-04, 05:01 PM

Originally posted by {BOHICA}Navaron
Find the guy, hold him down on the ground face first- and take a phone book that has been ripped in half (about 300 pgs) and lay it across the small of his back. DON'T HIT HIS BACK BONE - but smash the shit out of everything on each side of it through the phone book. You'll fuck up his insides- but they can't ever trace it to a direct form of assault. Now THAT'S assault brotha.

(I'm of course, for legal reasons - not advocating this course of action for anyone anywhere)

You sir, Are a sick man :lol:

Navaron

2003-05-04, 05:02 PM

Nah, I used to be a real asshole. No one's ever fucked with me though.

Squeeky

2003-05-04, 05:03 PM

Nah, I used to be a real asshole. No one's ever fucked with me though.

Used to be? :rofl: jk i love you, please dont smash my insides :lol: :love:

Spider

2003-05-04, 05:43 PM

lol nav :p

BUGGER

2003-05-04, 06:23 PM

may the nut rest in peace.

Revenant

2003-05-04, 06:40 PM

Why wasn't he wearing a cup? Geeze, I'd wear a cup even to paintball, and tagballing sounds worse. :ugh:

Sputty

2003-05-04, 06:53 PM

Wow, that guy deserves to be shot for destroying someone's testicles. I hope you hunt him down a nd cage his crotch with rats so they have to eat through his testicles and penis to escape.

MDK

2003-05-04, 06:59 PM

:huh:
...

*holds an extended moment of silence*

EDIT: Now that I think about it... what happens next? I mean, after healing and stuff. Will it be... erm... replaced? Can't expect the guy to walk around with one nut... and even then, what'll it be replaced with? :no:

God damn... :tear:

Spider

2003-05-04, 07:30 PM

I have no idea... doctors said he will function normally after some time *cough*

But he wont be able to have children after this incident :ugh:

And the reason why he didnt wear a cup: Was his first time there :ugh: we told him to but he doesnt listen Ive been doing tagball for a year and a half now and Ive receive plenty of shots there... then I get pissed go near the guy while shooting in his facemask and the at pointblank shoot inside the thy (sp?) wich may I say hurts like hell! and leaves a mark for a week or two :huh:

Revenant

2003-05-04, 08:16 PM

I thought you could still have children with only one....."boy". That's why there's 2.

DarkDragon00

2003-05-04, 08:25 PM

may be it messed up the other one too, there could have been infection and other damamge other then the one desmantled ball which could have lead to render the other one useless.

HOW OLD WAS HE?

I LOVE NAV, hes the best, hes tught me how to kill in ways i hadn't already realized! Thank you NAV!

AztecWarrior

2003-05-04, 08:27 PM

You guys are idiots.

Whenever I play *paintball* I wear a cup and a mask. I have yet to recive a shot between the legs. Similarily, I have yet to go without a cup.

Spider

2003-05-04, 08:43 PM

He's 17 :ugh: I'm 18 and the rest of the team is between 16 and 21.

Our team wears protective crap all of us except for him :( wich was "fatal"... and the thing about not being able to have children is because of the shock it gave I guess... too many hits = too much damage and the left one received most of it :ugh: I dunno I only have vague details

also known as. What the doctor said to us in 5 minutes.

Navaron

2003-05-04, 09:32 PM

If he's seventeen he can't legally sign a fucking thing. Those waiver's are so full of holes that any good lawyer will get him a shit load of money-

Those of you who aren't 18 find those guys and beat their fucking asses. You can't go to jail - you're minors, you'll get all kinds of community service, but it'll be worth it (ahh you may get a little juvy)

If you guys are too scared to fight the guys (or they'll kick your asses-be realistic) do this (I'm not recommending this at all)

Pour about two cups of sugar in their gas tank-

He'll be buying a new engine shortly

Take a jar of vaseline and a squeegee-

smear the vaseline all over the winshield - now squegee every ounce of it off (you can't get it all of if you try)

The remainder will cause the window to fog up if there is any temperature difference- he'll have to buy a new windshield.

If you do feel like beating some ass jump him, and then have two guys hold his legs "spread eagle" then with a sock full of golf balls (or ball bearings - which I've never actually seen used, but would have to hurt worse) and wail on his hamstrings with the sock, so that the sock connects at the hammy, but wraps around the legs. Work your way to the tendons on the back of his knee- DON'T break his knee - cause that's not cool. But if you do it right, he won't be able to walk for about 10 days - and he'll hate his life for about a month. Plus the 5-0 won't be able to trace it as anything other than trauma.

If it were a perfect world I'd say just find the guy, and beat him with a bat, but that's me.

(DO NOT DO ANY OF THIS STUFF _ I DON'T WANT A LAWSUIT- VIOLENCE IS BAD)

Yuyi

2003-05-04, 09:38 PM

Originally posted by {BOHICA}Navaron
If he's seventeen he can't legally sign a fucking thing. Those waiver's are so full of holes that any good lawyer will get him a shit load of money-

Those of you who aren't 18 find those guys and beat their fucking asses. You can't go to jail - you're minors, you'll get all kinds of community service, but it'll be worth it (ahh you may get a little juvy)

If you guys are too scared to fight the guys (or they'll kick your asses-be realistic) do this (I'm not recommending this at all)

Pour about two cups of sugar in their gas tank-

He'll be buying a new engine shortly

Take a jar of vaseline and a squeegee-

smear the vaseline all over the winshield - now squegee every ounce of it off (you can't get it all of if you try)

The remainder will cause the window to fog up if there is any temperature difference- he'll have to buy a new windshield.

If you do feel like beating some ass jump him, and then have two guys hold his legs "spread eagle" then with a sock full of golf balls (or ball bearings - which I've never actually seen used, but would have to hurt worse) and wail on his hamstrings with the sock, so that the sock connects at the hammy, but wraps around the legs. Work your way to the tendons on the back of his knee- DON'T break his knee - cause that's not cool. But if you do it right, he won't be able to walk for about 10 days - and he'll hate his life for about a month. Plus the 5-0 won't be able to trace it as anything other than trauma.

If it were a perfect world I'd say just find the guy, and beat him with a bat, but that's me.

(DO NOT DO ANY OF THIS STUFF _ I DON'T WANT A LAWSUIT- VIOLENCE IS BAD)

This guy is a fucking gangster.

Spider

2003-05-04, 09:38 PM

well once I find out where he lives... the suger thing might come in handy... :brow: at night in ottawa nobody cares what you do cept the police... who arent in the residential areas :brow:

Spider

2003-05-04, 09:40 PM

oh and nav! I love you!!! lol

What empire and what server will you play on release i'll probly desert Vanu to join you just cause your you :brow:

lol

Navaron

2003-05-04, 09:41 PM

Originally posted by Yuyi
This guy is a fucking gangster.

Certainly not, I've always been of the belief that supreme retaliation is a best defense. It's all about making examples. People like that deserve an ass whooping.

Mtx

2003-05-04, 09:43 PM

OMG

They damaged his left nut and you all just let them... some friends you guys are. Pffff

The moderator didn't warn me.

Navaron

2003-05-04, 09:45 PM

No need to desert - I'm {BOHICA} baby.

http://bohica.planetside-universe.com/index.php?action=news

We're Omnipresent

Spider

2003-05-04, 09:47 PM

Now I love you even more :brow: lol

Now to drug the leaders of Bohica and make them accept me into the clan :brow:

Did I say that out loud...

snowwolfe

2003-05-04, 09:47 PM

What a smacktard! :mad: that would hurt so bad. :ugh:

Sputty

2003-05-04, 11:06 PM

OMFG. I love Nav!!! Holy shit. I want to hire you to get me some revenge on people I hate. I like the rat ide but your things are far more legal and easier. Also, it's not cruel to animals! OMFG..Nav is murderous

BUGGER

2003-05-04, 11:59 PM

I think I know'm gona do in 2 years when that guy gets a car....:devilwink

1024

2003-05-05, 04:30 AM

:eek: HOLY FUCKING OW! :scared:

Delirare

2003-05-05, 05:00 AM

wear a mask, freeze paintballs, shoot him in the nuts several times as he leaves his car or house. Break both of his nuts. BOTH DAMNIT!

1024

2003-05-05, 05:31 AM

Break his nuts, his dick,his tail bone, all his ribs, his face....FUCK IT JUST KILL HIS ASS!!

Sputty

2003-05-05, 06:01 AM

Or you could use my rat eat through crotch and come out eaten colon plan. It's slow and painful! And it gives rats a big meal.

Squeeky

2003-05-05, 07:05 AM

Originally posted by Yuyi
This guy is a fucking gangster.

http://bohica.planetside-universe.com/images/forumPics/indeed.gif

Hamma

2003-05-05, 12:54 PM

:ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh: :ugh:

ObnoxiousFrog

2003-05-05, 03:03 PM

Hail Nut!

Spider

2003-05-05, 03:07 PM

What sadistic method to choose :confused:

Daedalus

2003-05-05, 04:04 PM

Ok,I'm getting scared now...please don't come to my house if you're in a very bad mood :scared:

Destroyeron

2003-05-05, 04:32 PM

He was your friend too? Did you watch it?

I would've grabbed my balls, picked up my gun, walked over to the guy and shot him in the face, a lot.

If i was the friend of the guy who got hurt...I would've got up behind the guy, shoved the gun up his ass and assuming its full auto, pull the trigger and hold.

Happy lil Elf

2003-05-05, 04:33 PM

Two words: Anal Castration

Get some gardening shears, chop in through the back door and keep chopping till he loses his two best friends. :evil:

Destroyeron

2003-05-05, 04:34 PM

and Yes I am a very violent child.

Deadlock

2003-05-05, 08:30 PM

its a shame u just cant beat people up anymore...

although, back before i became such an outstanding citizen *cough cough* i had to take care of a guy who thought it was cool to hit girls... Me and a buddy of mine waited by his house one night, grabed him and threw him in my car trunk (we dumped a bulk-sized bag of tacs in the trunk before hand) then we proceded to drive down this old pot hole filled road for about an hour... when we finally let him out he was stuck head to toe... ah sweet justice

Spider

2003-05-05, 09:20 PM

:ugh:

I think I might do something :brow: I have italian family and blood maybe I could use some of my "friends" :brow: lol

TheRegurgitator

2003-05-05, 09:30 PM

Oww... Yanno if you get ball bearings load em in your gun, through the barrel like 6 at a time and its like a shotgun i tried it once... heh

bP-stRiKeR

2003-05-05, 09:52 PM

Let all us men remember all the times we have been kicked in the balls, and how lucky we are to still have both of them, even after the trying minutes after the blow to the balls.

AztecWarrior

2003-05-05, 09:55 PM

Let's not focus on the 'how to bust more nuts' part and let's focus on the 'how to NOT bust more nuts' part.

Navaron

2003-05-05, 10:00 PM

75 years ago this bullshit wouldn't have happened. That's when men were allowed to be men, not the pussy ass politically correct sensative fuckers we're supposed to be now.

Squeeky

2003-05-05, 10:08 PM

Originally posted by {BOHICA}Navaron
75 years ago this bullshit wouldn't have happened. That's when men were allowed to be men, not the pussy ass politically correct sensative fuckers we're supposed to be now.

*counts the cuss words* grand total of 4 cuss words in 2 sentences :lol:

Yuyi

2003-05-05, 10:14 PM

i counted 3

bullshit
ass
fuckers

:confused:

half the sky

2003-05-05, 11:03 PM

Originally posted by Spider
The guy is already getting sewed by the company for breaking the rules but my friend can't sue the guy because he signed the paper that says that he will respect the rules and that he understands the dangers involved :ugh:

So basicly if you break the rules there you get sewed (unless it minor like not dying after one bullet) but ya can't sue anyone that hurts you severely because you signed the damned paper :mad:

But our small group is trying to find out who he his to beat them (aka kick him in the balls with steel tipped boots) :p

Actually, he can still try to sue. He might even win. Sometimes companies will attempt to intimidate you by implying you've already waived all of your rights.

Of course, being a willing participant in a dangerous sport such as football or baseball means you can't sue for accidental injuries like a broken leg under a pile up or a concussion after taking an accidental blow to the head from an errant baseball.

Sounds like your friend is actually more a victim of assault though.

What is confusing to me about your post is: why would the company sue the guy who injured your friend? What damages did they incur? Are they going to pass whatever punitive damages they collect on to your injured friend? Sounds fishy to me.

Navaron

2003-05-05, 11:08 PM

Was this in the US?

AztecWarrior

2003-05-05, 11:11 PM

Don't go to court, you'll get the Dems, Hippies, and Tree-Huggers to ban Tagball, Paintball, and Airsoft.

Navaron

2003-05-05, 11:50 PM

NO - Go to court, and donate part of your money to the NRA - who now is supporting NPBAA!

HellFlame

2003-05-06, 02:55 AM

Ok here are some things that i recommend you dont do. ;)

1)Surgically remove his left nut (with a carpenters saw) and force feed it to him.

2)Steal his car and accidently back over him because he foolishly tied himself up and bolted himself to his driveway.

3)Get a tagball gun cut his right nut off and shove it down the barrel and keep shooting him in the left nut for half an hour or so.

4)Become his friend and go skydiving together. ;)

5)Have a beer.

I'll be back in a sec with some less lethal ideas.

OneManArmy

2003-05-06, 09:43 AM

this is by far the worst thread I have ever seen on here. everytime I come in here I just cringe up in pain.... :ugh: it makes MY nuts hurt jeez......

aswell as making me wonder about some of you... :O_O:

HellFlame

2003-05-06, 09:54 AM

Your nuts hurt? Tell us the bastard who did it we'll make them pay.

Squeeky

2003-05-06, 10:53 AM

Originally posted by Yuyi
i counted 3

bullshit
ass
fuckers

:confused:

bullshit
pussy
ass
fuckers

Spider

2003-05-06, 05:10 PM

They are sueing (sp?) the guy because he severely broke the rules or whatnot and 25% will go to my friend's medical bill.

In other words by sueing and giving a part of it they get a clean media record (my friend passed on the local news (gatineau)) this wont be any good for his reputation with the ladies :ugh:

This is in canada where you can sue as much or or even more then in the U.S

MDK

2003-05-06, 05:41 PM

Jebus... all of this brutal violence.

My suggestion? Nothing better than poison.

If you know the guys? Or even if you don't know em but you'll see em at a party or something, slip some poison into their drink - not stuff that'll kill em on the spot, but stuff that takes time.

Can't be traced at all, and besides, it has something the other suggestions don't; finesse.

;)

Navaron

2003-05-06, 05:46 PM

It also comes with first degree murder charges - something the others dont'.

Spider

2003-05-06, 06:00 PM

:rofl: owned by nav :lol:

HellFlame

2003-05-06, 06:06 PM

OMG! Slip caffiene in his coffee.

Ginzue

2003-05-06, 06:08 PM

Ok, I normally don't comment on such violent threds (most of my suggestions would make most people vommit) but I have to butt in here. Ok, revenge? Simple answer... the Anarchyist Cookbook...
Nuff said, it tells the best methods for revenge around (soooo many, even fertiliser easter eggs BOOM ) , just look it up on a P2P like Kazaalite or Imesh, revenge till your hearts content.

Just a little suggestion, get Thermite... Light in on his car hood, no more car...

Or if you like the more mind fucking, bug his phone line, intercept calls, have fun :D

Also, get a frozen paintball, while he leaves his house one day, hide in a tree or somthing and as laoud as you can yell "RUN HES DRUNK!!" and fire a few shots at the kids groin, if you hit him the shit will be scared out of him (thinking hes shot for real).

Doobz

2003-05-06, 06:35 PM

this thread is becoming disturbing

please stop

Squeeky

2003-05-06, 06:37 PM

Originally posted by Doobz
this thread is becoming disturbing

please stop

:lol:

Ginzue

2003-05-06, 06:55 PM

I have not even begun...

I doubt anyone wants to hear the story of how I got my nickname Ginzue...

Ill just tell ya this, my old 13 year old dog was attacked by a pitbull that tryed to kill him, I always carry a knife on me, it happned to be a Ginzue knife that day...

MDK

2003-05-06, 06:57 PM

Originally posted by {BOHICA}Navaron
It also comes with first degree murder charges - something the others dont'.

Bah, not if you do it right. :rolleyes:

Besides, who says you have to kill them? Can make em hella sick too.

Ginzue

2003-05-06, 07:06 PM

I personally like to humaliate my targets, lets just say I have mastred Photo Shop 7.1 :D

Doobz

2003-05-06, 07:08 PM

show us yo skills!

Ginzue

2003-05-06, 07:11 PM

Um... Thats kinda hard without being banned from the fourms :lol:

Most of my pictures involve someone I have sucking on someone else or somthing with midgets...

edit: Just click here (http://www.eqxp.com) to see my picutres I do for eqxp heh, those ones arn't bad.

Doobz

2003-05-06, 07:13 PM

oh come on, you can place little stars on the naughty parts

i want to laugh

actually, now that i think about it, i can just go look at squeeky...

Ginzue

2003-05-06, 07:19 PM

:lol:

Doobz

2003-05-06, 07:27 PM

i don't know why, but you sig looks like it contains a sexual inuendo there with that chaingun ;)

Ginzue

2003-05-06, 07:30 PM

You sick little monkey :lol:

Squeeky

2003-05-06, 07:31 PM

Thats what popped into my mind when i saw it http://staff.planetside-universe.com/squeeky/Smilies/shrug.gif

Doobz

2003-05-06, 07:32 PM

i dunno, it's your sig who's humping the chaingun, not me

Spider

2003-05-06, 07:56 PM

Kinky :brow:

errrr when did the subject shift exactly :huh:

Doobz

2003-05-06, 07:58 PM

when it became disturbing

Spider

2003-05-06, 08:00 PM

and for the chaingun humping.... Who puts that what in the what now?

Doobz

2003-05-06, 08:02 PM

yes, chaingun humping
umm.... hmmm...... hrmmm..... yeah

Spider

2003-05-06, 08:03 PM

I think we are doing :spam: could it be?

Doobz

2003-05-06, 08:08 PM

no, because we are posting for a reason, which would make it non-spam.. i think

Spider

2003-05-06, 08:13 PM

But would non-spam be considered spam on the subject of spam!? if the subject of spam was non-spam we would not be talking about spam!

Dharkbayne

2003-05-06, 08:14 PM

What you do, is jump his ass, tie him down or have a fat dude his on his stomach, and pull a mafia and break his toes and fingers really bad, he won't be shooting shit at ppls nuts very soon, and then STOMP THE HELL out of his balls, when he starts screaming and crying, stomp a few more times, and run. (Like navaron, not that I endorse this type of violence, :)) (BTW, you should wear a skimask and/or cheap clothes that you can throw away, pref. dark, but make sure he can get to a hospital, if you actually break them, cuz he can bleed to death, and you don't want that, cuz, jail suxx0rz major donkey balls)

BTW, I got suspended from school today, hehe, someone was fucking with me, so I tackled him, the bitch threw his SHOE at me, so I tackled him again, put him in a headlock (A reallly hard one, I am in wrestling), the bitch starts crying and he runs off. It was kewl, :).