Joke Thread - Page 2

Spider · 2003-07-18, 04:09 PM

Would of been better if you place it in the austin powers context...

''Welcome to my submarine! It's long, it's hard and it's full of seamen!''

anyhoo! I prefer image humour... less to read and me being lazy ^^

the mIRC keyboard

Lonehunter · 2003-07-18, 04:47 PM

I live in West Virgina USA Redneck central, so I know a LOT of racist jokes. But I am not racist. Here a good one though,

Steve (big brother) and Johny (little brother) always hang out together. Johny does everything his big brother Steve does. Steve will watch football, and Johny will be right next to him shouting "Go cowboys." Steve will mow the lawn, and Johny will be out there with his little toy lawn mower. One day Steve was takin a shower and Johny hopped in with him. Steve said, "What ever you do, don't look up." The first thing johny did was look strait up. "What's that?" Johny says. "That's my raggedy-anne." Later on the parents come home from work and see Johny on the couch and hear Steve up stairs crying. The father runs upstairs and the mom asks johny what happened. "Raggedy-anne spit in my eye so I bit it's head off."

Lonehunter · 2003-07-18, 05:04 PM

I have 2, REALLY nasty jokes left. Should I post them?

Hamma · 2003-07-18, 05:46 PM

@ mirc keyboard

Corrosion · 2003-07-18, 05:50 PM

AHAHHAH the dick one was hilarious..... gj every1 good jokes

HawkEye · 2003-07-18, 07:25 PM

i was

at the keyboard one. is there a palce where i can get one of those.

Lonehunter · 2003-07-18, 07:52 PM

!!WARNING!!

REALLY SICK JOKE

This girl comes home one day from getting her liscense. She runs to her dad, "Dad! Dad! I got my Liscense let me have the car!" "Give me a Blowjob" "EEww ! God dad that's sick!" Then she goes to her room. She comes back down stairs, "Dad, I need the car." "I need a blowjob." "Dad, just give me the keys." "Just give me a blowjob." So she finally cooperates and...ya'know. Half way through she stops and says, "Dad, your penis smells like ass." "Oh that's right your brother has the car today."

Firend of mine insisted on me posting this, he's sitting right next to me laughing his ass off =/

ObnoxiousFrog · 2003-07-18, 07:55 PM

That would probably be funny if it wasn't so unfunny.

Timormi · 2003-07-18, 10:41 PM

Q - What do the pope and a christmas tree have in common?

A - The balls are just for decoration

1024 · 2003-07-19, 01:59 AM

Originally posted by Lonehunter187
Guy walks into a bar with a group of friends. He talks with them for a while, then goes to the bar. The bartender asks him what he wants. The guy says, I'll bet you 50 bucks that I can piss from here into that glass 5 feet away. The bartender says What? You heard me, 50 bucks. The bartender pulls out his money and puts 50 on the bar. The guy gets ready and pisses every last bit into the glass. The bartender is pissed now. Ok, now i'll bet you 1000 dollars that I can piss from here, out that window, into that car with the open window, and into the cup holder. The two guys pull out their checkbooks and get them ready. The guy gets ready, then starts pissing all over the place. On the bar, in the cooler, on the bartender, everything is covered with piss. The bartender starts jumping up and down yelling "I got a thousand bucks! Yeah!" The guy shakes his head and says, "Well I just bet my friends over there 5000 dollars that I could make you happy by pissin on you."

ofn.

Mr1337Duck · 2003-07-19, 06:44 AM

1024's a ninja now! Welcome to the brotherhood! *cuts off 1042's left nut* That's the ninja salute to new ninjas around here.

Timormi · 2003-07-19, 11:20 AM

How do you drown a blonde?

A scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool

Lonehunter · 2003-07-19, 03:20 PM

Blonde jokes huh. Ok,
Ok ya got three blondes. A Russian, an American and an Aussie. The Russian says, "We were the first in space." Then the American says, "So, we were the first on the moon." the Aussie says, "That's nothin, we're gonna be the first ones on the sun." The Russian and American start laughing when the Aussie replies, "We're not stupid ya'know we're going at night!"

1024 · 2003-07-19, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by Mr1337Duck
1024's a ninja now! Welcome to the brotherhood! *cuts off 1042's left nut* That's the ninja salute to new ninjas around here.

wts? i've been a ninja. i just don't advertise it.

Lonehunter · 2003-07-19, 04:13 PM

A blonde is walking through the woods. She comes to a river and wants to cross it. She starts walking one way hoping to find a bridge. She sees another blonde on the opposite side of the river, "Hey! How do I get to the other side?" The other blonde looks up the river, then down the river and says, "You are on the other side."