Why english is so hard to learn...

[Zatrais]

Found this humorous post on the official werner forum, figured i'd share cause it gave me a few laughs.

My Father sent this to me in an email a few days ago. It's pretty funny so I thought I'd share it with you, I apologize if you've already seen it.
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on.
If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the
brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.
Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are
present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a
tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
friend?
22] I want it to be on record that I will record my Record.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the pluralof booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a
humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by
going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

Anakin(Emerald)

[Ait'al]

woe, woe, what a tangled web we weave!

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

because buick isnt english! And germans arent quick.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by
going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

these really found me as funny, though i found it(though technically i ran across them, while sitting!), but thats beause there the climax, or the end... but not the top! 8) nor the beginning! But it was the peak, even though i wasnt afraid to look at them!.... though technically reading htem, i percieved htem?

[Corrosion]

nice find

[Onizuka]

Originally Posted by Corrosion

nice find

[Firefly]

Linguistic scholars will tell you that English is the most difficult language in the world. It's more difficult to learn that Urdu, Pashtun, Chinese, and Swahili. Be proud that you can speak the most difficult language in the world.

Of course if you're prone to such crap as "LOL" and "OMFG STFU U SUXX0RZ" then you're not really speaking it and you deserve a punch in the mouth. And ebonics doesn't count, either. I don't even think THOSE people understand what the hell they're saying.

[Neon Apocalypse]

english isnt that hard, well now that i think of it it is, because when you say the same word but its two different things theres an accent you have tosay, but the accent isnt in the word so wtf, whoever made english was drunk, i find spanish easier than english, of course when you speak spanish they dont have words for the new stuff weve come up with, like 2.4 ghz proccessor, so its like a cave man language

[Ed the MAD]

i always get a kick out of my native language. i mean, we have only five vowells, and the rest are consonents. also, our written language is almost dominated by synonyms, homonyms, and antonyms. it's fun.

[Firefly]

Chinese only has five vowels. But it uses tone inflection and subjective meaning to convey the "translation". Each tone gives a word at LEAST five meanings. And then there's dialect and "local slang", and if you speak Cantonese then you're gonna confuse the crap out of people because they have double the amount of tones.