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2004-01-13, 10:13 AM | [Ignore Me] #1 | ||
Here are the top 36 things you'll never hear a southerner say. (I'm from Alabama, and this made be laugh.. it's sad, but most of them are true.)
36. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 35. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan. 34. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. 33. We don't keep firearms in this house. 32. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 31. You can't feed that to the dog. 30. I thought Graceland was tacky. 29. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. 28. Wrestling's fake. 27. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? 26. We're vegetarians. 25. Do you think my gut is too big? 24. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. 23. Honey, we don't need another dog. 22. Who gives a hoot who won the Civil War? 21. Give me the small bag of pork rinds. 20. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. 19. Spitting is such a nasty habit. 18. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. 17. Trim the fat off that steak. 16. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. 15. The tires on that truck are too big. 14. I'll have the arugula and riadicchio salad. 13. I've got it all on the C: drive. 12. Unsweetened tea tastes better. 11. Would you like your fish poached or broiled? 10. My fiance, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. 9. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. 8. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. 7. Checkmate. 6. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? 5. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. 4. I don't have a favorite college team. 3. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. 2. You all. ---(This one made me laugh so hard.. it's so true) And, Number ONE is: 1. Duct tape won't fix that.
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Last edited by Strygun; 2004-01-13 at 10:22 AM. |
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2004-01-13, 12:34 PM | [Ignore Me] #5 | ||
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I remeber my family and I went down to Florida for vacation once (keeping in mind im Canadian). We drove down there (3 boring days). We stopped at a restaurant on night and I ordered my fodd. I asked what sidedishes they had and the waitress said " what wus that huney"?
me: "A side dish for my meal" waitress: " You mean a side arm?" A side arm? Sounds delicious. Another time we were heading down there we stopped at a rest station in Tennesse. I left my hat in my jacket pocket accidently. It dropped and I went to pick it up. Than some one asked me were I got the toboggan. This thread reminds me of my " You might be a redneck if..." calander I had once. My favourite one was " You might be a redneck if you teach your parrot cuss words." Polly wants a fucking cracker.
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Last edited by I Hate Pants; 2004-01-13 at 12:39 PM. |
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2004-01-13, 11:26 PM | [Ignore Me] #9 | ||||
Anyway... we southerners aren't all bad. We're just unique. (I wasn't born in the south, but I've lived here for about 6 yrs now)
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2004-01-13, 11:41 PM | [Ignore Me] #10 | ||
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I met this guy from South Carolina on outward bound and no one had a fucking clue what he said. The only thing I think I ever understood was when he said he was from Rockville south carolina. But he said it more like Yaim frum rochiovil sutcarlina
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Take what you can! Give nothing back! |
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2004-01-14, 11:11 PM | [Ignore Me] #11 | |||
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And incase you were wondering a toboggan is a sliegh you ride down snow hills. Not something you can wear on your head really.
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Last edited by I Hate Pants; 2004-01-14 at 11:16 PM. |
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2004-01-14, 11:48 PM | [Ignore Me] #13 | |||
Lightbulb Collector
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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