What to do?

Fragmatic · 2003-12-19, 01:23 AM

Whenever my friends need help or advice, I'm always there, I cheer them up, and help solve their problems. It makes me feel good about myself, knowing that I can help people.

I spent �40 and sat on a train for 4 hours once to see a friend who said she was suicidal, that night I sat at home smiling knowing that she was still alive, even though I had only met her once previously... we talked every night on msn.

I've never had the best of upbringings, my parents divorced when I was 6, I was stuck living with my mum. I was branded a geek and a loner at primary school, and things didn't change much in secondary school either. I fell into depression and was put on prozac as a "cure". I couldn't take life at my mums, we always moved house all the time, I could never make friends with anyone because of this, so I ran away to move with my dad and things were great. Now my brother lives here too, mum kicked him out when he was 12, and he lived with one of my aunts who never had children of her own, so she spoilt him rotten.

Now dad's struggling to pay for him, they fight and row, the other day I had to call the police to end a fight. My brother always comes home drunk and breaks my things. All through this, I continue to help my friends, because they mean so much more to me than anything else in the world, the other day I got a christmas card from my friend Vic, and she said that she wouldn't be around if it weren't for me. I felt pretty shocked to find out that I was such a burden in somebody's life.

Now It seems that all I ever do is help people, I never have enough time to do anything I want to, and I feel pretty down about it. Every time I see my friends, they're all like "heeeey, it's Hussey!" (Hussey is my surname, people call me by that) and it makes me feel good because I know these people love me for who I am, even though I'm just an overweight computer games player. When I'm at home, it's a different story, my brothers always shouting at me and making me clear up his own mess, whilst my dad is usually at work, I just sit isolated in my room, listening to music, playing guitar, thinking, playing video games.

Sorry for posting this, I needed to get it off my chest, and for once, I need advice from people, I really feel bad because I've isolated myself, because I don't want to be such a burden.

Sorry if you think this is shit or whatever, I don't care, you can flame if you want, that will just show your immaturity. I know a forum isn't really the best of places to confide with people and ask advice like this, but it's all I got, and I'm sorry for having to post this here.

All in all, I don't want to go back on Prozac or anything like that again, because it just makes you feel worse, knowing that you've fallen so low to have to take drugs to control your emotions.

Octavian · 2003-12-19, 01:39 AM

Wow, better ask Hamma or something. I'm not good with advice. But Hamma was once allegedly abused by his mother, he might know what to do.

TheRagingGerbil · 2003-12-19, 01:42 AM

Talking is good. :bigthumb:

Octavian · 2003-12-19, 01:46 AM

Yes let it all out. I feel better when I tell someone. We can't exactly help you physically, but we will lend you some advice.

Fragmatic · 2003-12-19, 01:48 AM

Thanks guys

I'm sorry I posted it, I just needed to get it off my chest, and I'm sorry I chose this place to do it

Chaaos · 2003-12-19, 01:49 AM

Talking sure helps alot so keep doing it.

Drugs dont.

I had a gf that was on paxil... messes you up and changes you. Mood swings, loss of sex drive, etc.

I doubt anyone is going to flame you for getting stuff off your chest.

Glaynor · 2003-12-19, 01:55 AM

Frag, you've had a rough go at things. Sorry to hear that. You mentionned how you have helped your friends a lot and that they really care for you. I am sorta similar in that I am the oldest in my family (that is my entire extended family including cousins). I always did well in school (sports, student gov't, grades etc.) and when my younger family members had problems the parents always asked me to talk to them and try to fix things. It got to be a lot to handle. I ended up turning to my friends for support. Have you turned to the various people you have helped for support? I amsure that they would do everything they can to help you out. BTW how old are you?

Fragmatic · 2003-12-19, 02:17 AM

Originally Posted by Glaynor

Frag, you've had a rough go at things. Sorry to hear that. You mentionned how you have helped your friends a lot and that they really care for you. I am sorta similar in that I am the oldest in my family (that is my entire extended family including cousins). I always did well in school (sports, student gov't, grades etc.) and when my younger family members had problems the parents always asked me to talk to them and try to fix things. It got to be a lot to handle. I ended up turning to my friends for support. Have you turned to the various people you have helped for support? I amsure that they would do everything they can to help you out. BTW how old are you?

17, the thing is, I find it really hard to talk to my friends like that back, because I'm always worried that they'll jump back and tell me to f-off

martyr · 2003-12-19, 02:20 AM

frag, you're a t-shirt ninja. you're set for life.

go to university, embrace your inner geek. you're a great guy obviously, so don't fret about your future.

Fragmatic · 2003-12-19, 02:27 AM

Martyr, great work on the comics man

A picture can tell a tale, but a comic can bring a smile to the people who see it

I just been thinking, doing some creative stuff, made a nice tune on the guitar that I think I'm gonna record later, and thinking about the business I'm gonna start up next year (FragTech computers, Gonna be the European equivelent to Alienware/Falcon NorthWest)

Things are looking up already, thanks for your support guys

And yes, that is me in the pic

ultraviolet · 2003-12-19, 02:44 AM

Frag, I didn't actually get through the original post (had a couple drinks at tonite's office party so my attention span is ZERO), but if you do need a shoulder or someone to talk to, I am DEFINITELY here for you. I have a bit of personal experience about taking drugs for normalcy (aka antidepressants) as well.

and huggles, you can drop me a PM or an IM.

martyr · 2003-12-19, 03:35 AM

she said "huggles," don't trust her in her moon-slippers!

ultraviolet · 2003-12-19, 03:37 AM

Hey, you liked my moon-slippers.... didn't you? :tears up: FINE, I see how it is!

And huggles is a cute word, thank you.

martyr · 2003-12-19, 03:39 AM

haha, i do like your slippers. i just wear boots. anyway, i was trying to think of a good reason to call you "wench" because i think it's funny.

then i saw something shiny and forgot about it. you know how it is.

ultraviolet · 2003-12-19, 03:47 AM

haha, yes I do. My boyfriend laughs at me, cos I'll stop and say "ooh, pretty" or "ooh, shiny." Squeeky can vouch for this bad habit of mine.

I would wear pretty, shiny black boots, but I haven't been able to find any in my size. I just wear my comfy Uggs. They keep me happy enough.