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Old 2004-02-21, 12:20 AM   [Ignore Me] #1
Retroactive
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my GF's dad just died. you guys have any good advice i can give her? thanks
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Old 2004-02-21, 12:22 AM   [Ignore Me] #2
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Oh shit, that's gonna be rough. =/

Prepare for an emotional shitstorm.
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Old 2004-02-21, 12:26 AM   [Ignore Me] #3
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lots of hugs and yes dear's its ok dear stuff, best u can do is comfort her. and yes, prepare for an emotional shitstorm
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Old 2004-02-21, 12:30 AM   [Ignore Me] #4
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have you had someone close to you, or in your family die?
mabey if she knows youve been through something similer it will comfort her.

all i got
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Old 2004-02-21, 12:28 AM   [Ignore Me] #5
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As someone who lost his own father five years ago, I would say the best advice is be very supportive, but give her some room to grieve. Some peeps like myself are able to move on after a few months, but unfortunately others like my mom still haven't recovered yet. But I imagine she is pretty young, and there are prolly lots of things going on in her life, which helps. Just be there when she needs you.
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Old 2004-02-21, 01:23 AM   [Ignore Me] #6
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thanks
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Old 2004-02-21, 01:32 AM   [Ignore Me] #7
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both my folks are long gone. both of my wifes folks too. 12 years for my dad and 7 or so for my mom. over 20 years each for my wifes parents.


crying is good. let her cry until she cant if necessary. mourning is good. mourning is healing.

if she wonders if she'll ever get over it. no...you really never do. I dont think anyone would really want to 'get over' the death of a parent. part of always keeping them close is missing them to some extent. its natural and expected. however the pain of remembering, does fade over time.

remind her that if her dad ever taught her anything at all, right down to telling time, tying her shoe, or driving a car he is in some way with her.

tell her to keep in mind the last thing they would want is for her to climb into the grave with them. she MUST live her life in order to respect the memory and wishes parents have for their children. regardless of her beliefs in life after death or 'the big dirt nap', I always found it comforting to realize that undeniably, we all go eventually. therefore eventually she will be with him again and her ancestors throughout the ages will all be together, where ever the hell that actually ends up being.


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Old 2004-02-21, 01:42 AM   [Ignore Me] #8
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In addition to all of the advice already given, make sure that you're always ready to listen. She might not want to talk much now, but when she does later, someone who can listen to her will make all the difference in the world.
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Old 2004-02-21, 03:00 AM   [Ignore Me] #9
Biohazzard56
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Originally Posted by UncleDynamite
In addition to all of the advice already given, make sure that you're always ready to listen. She might not want to talk much now, but when she does later, someone who can listen to her will make all the difference in the world.
UncleD that is so true, be supportive and take the time and consideration to listen especially in a hard emotional time like this.
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Old 2004-02-21, 02:41 AM   [Ignore Me] #10
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people dying blows.
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Old 2004-02-21, 02:30 PM   [Ignore Me] #11
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Originally Posted by Dharkbayne
people dying blows.
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Old 2004-02-21, 02:34 PM   [Ignore Me] #12
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Ask her if she wants to talk about it. Otherwise give her some space.


My friends mom died when he was 11 (3 years ago), he took school off so he could just clear his mind. its a hard thing
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Old 2004-02-21, 07:31 AM   [Ignore Me] #13
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There's going to be lots of grieving for a few months. It's going to be hard for her, so just be there and be supportive, I couldn't give you a list of specific things to say, or anything.
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