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2004-12-02, 11:17 PM
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[Ignore Me] #1 | ||
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Lightbulb Collector
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NOTE: The Freuidan slip present is not mine- I am not anti-semitic.
Earlier in the class we had learned from the theology teacher that one of the students in 12th grade who lived in Little Haiti (a real place, not just part of Vice City) had his house burn down by an electrical fire. Of course, the social justice advocate that she is, was a firm believer that these things happened more in poorer inner-city, predominantly black areas, thus, someone or something is to blame. Anyway, while she was speaking, demanding that something be done, she uttered this perfect racist statement: "We ought to get some Jewish lawyer-err, shark lawyer..." At which point the class went silent, then "Did she just say...?", then laughter. Probably the last person on earth I'd expect to make a slip of that magnitude. EDIT: Clarification: We weren't laughing with the joke, we were laughing at the teacher for making such a comment.
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. Last edited by AztecWarrior; 2004-12-02 at 11:29 PM. |
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2004-12-02, 11:24 PM
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[Ignore Me] #3 | ||
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Master Sergeant
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chuckle...?
Not to be too brass, but I would have got a blank face if I delivered that line in a circle of friends that way. I guess jewish and lawyer should automatically be funny? I guess I had to be there... Edit: I read it 5 or six times, I'm not jewish. I think i'm lacking humor from these threads. Pants? Last edited by GeneralRazor; 2004-12-02 at 11:27 PM. |
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2004-12-02, 11:27 PM
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[Ignore Me] #4 | ||
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Lightbulb Collector
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Agh, I don't want to offend our Jewish population here, but: some people believe that the majority of lawyers, or at least a huge amount, are Jewish.
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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2004-12-02, 11:31 PM
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[Ignore Me] #5 | |||
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Master Sergeant
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2004-12-03, 02:05 AM
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[Ignore Me] #6 | |||
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Contributor teh Sexb0t
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[ Penis removed by Hamma. ] NEVAR FORGET THE SHUNK! (The Shunk Logs.) Violated by ChiaHamma |
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2004-12-02, 11:34 PM
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[Ignore Me] #7 | ||
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Lightbulb Collector
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The religion teacher was racist.
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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2004-12-03, 12:01 AM
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[Ignore Me] #9 | ||
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Contributor Teh Masturbator
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Jewish jokes are some of the best. Hell, i'm Jewish and I make them with my family.
"Hey, Uncle Glenn, quit being a fucking *** with the taters and give me some" I used that line at Thanksgiving, my family loved it. Who remembers the episode of Family Guy where it cuts to a scene where Peter is rich, the Hollywood sign is in the background, and he's on the phone and then he falls down the hill into a cactus. He has a Star Of David on.  But when someone is genuinely anti-semetic, I have no problem bashing their fuck in. |
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2004-12-03, 11:14 AM
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[Ignore Me] #10 | |||
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Contributor Major General
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The two best ones she taught me were these: What's the difference in Santa Claus and the Jewish Santa Claus? -- When Hannuka Harry comes down the chimney he says "Hey kiddies, anyone wanna buy any toys?" What's the difference in a pit bull and a Jewish mother? -- A pitbull eventually lets go. I don't think anyone but we **** will get the last one. My mother, she guilted me for that last one by the way.
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2004-12-04, 01:21 PM
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[Ignore Me] #12 | |||
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Contributor General
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more like Sicilians ae alot like us  and those were funny firefly...chanukah harry would say that.
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  <Smaug> omg kyonye is hot |
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2004-12-04, 06:38 PM
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[Ignore Me] #14 | |||
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Major
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So I�ll wish upon a star, Wondrous sparkling speck of light, I need a ***... Lois makes me take the rap, Because our checkbook looks like crap, Since I can't give her a slap, I need a ***... Where to find A bum or stien or stein To teach me how to whine And do my taxes... Though by many they're abhorred, Hebrew people I�ve adored, Even though they killed my lord, I need a ***! Max: Hi, my name's Max Weinstein, my car just broke down, can I use you phone? Peter: Now my troubles are all through I have a ***! Family Guy *** humor for win.
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Doop |
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