Just got this GMail

Hamma · 2006-04-04, 10:42 AM

Hey playa. When are you comin' back to the hood?

Ahhh, Steve Hammer.

So I have this gaccount now...yet another forum for our communication.
I am still doing Anokwa. I can't believe how well he puts out.

I don't have my phone, so if you've hit me up, I won't find out for
likely another hour. 'Edacious.' Frankly, my dear, you're just a
jack-of-all-trades.

LOVE! I want to see you tonight. Should I bring anything? A new
pack of scrunchies? Food? Should I wear anything?

Y,Y,N.

Maybe tonight Old Mother Nature will actually satisfy. What would you
say to her, Lady Luck, and me, in a tryst?

I'm scared.

Ivan · 2006-04-04, 10:59 AM

Don't worry Jenny will protect you.

Marsman · 2006-04-04, 12:29 PM

WTH ???

THrONeBeaST · 2006-04-04, 12:29 PM

Hamma · 2006-04-04, 12:30 PM

How should I respond to scare the crap out of this person?

Ivan · 2006-04-04, 12:51 PM

Hmm... give me a while. I'll post something...

Ivan · 2006-04-04, 01:17 PM

You might me presently surprised when we get together; I***8217;ve learned a few things you never even knew were possible since the last time we were together. One includes a ketchup bottle, but I won***8217;t say another word. I***8217;ll just let you ***8220;cum***8221; to your own conclusions.

As for anything you could bring, well your sexy self of course and the ketchup for starters. And maybe some port wine and some Vieux Boulogne cheese, the smell of that cheese always gets me in the mood. Umm***8230; eggs, milk, and a box of pop tarts***8230; sorry I haven***8217;t had a chance to get to the market lately so if you could pick those things up too it would be great.

Oh and some baby diapers. Don***8217;t worry, I don***8217;t have a kid. It***8217;s for my pet ferret Squeeky. He***8217;s a crazy little guy. You***8217;ll love him! Sometime he keeps me company on those lonely nights if you know what I mean.

That's all I got so far. I'd like to continue more with "Squeeky" the ferret a bit more but can't think of anything at the moment. Everyone else should build off of that or start your own. Hamma then can cut and paste what he wants from us.

Giovanni · 2006-04-04, 02:38 PM

Originally Posted by Ivan

That's all I got so far. I'd like to continue more with "Squeeky" the ferret a bit more but can't think of anything at the moment. Everyone else should build off of that or start your own. Hamma then can cut and paste what he wants from us.

Hamma · 2006-04-04, 03:02 PM

That owns haha - I will give you guys a bit longer then send something when I get home.. I hope the person responds

Ivan · 2006-04-04, 03:36 PM

You might me presently surprised when we get together; I***8217;ve learned a few things you never even knew were possible since the last time we were together. One includes a ketchup bottle, but I won***8217;t say another word. I***8217;ll just let you ***8220;cum***8221; to your own conclusions.

As for anything you could bring, well your sexy self of course and the ketchup for starters. And maybe some port wine and some Vieux Boulogne cheese, the smell of that cheese always gets me in the mood. Umm***8230; eggs, milk, and a box of pop tarts***8230; sorry I haven***8217;t had a chance to get to the market lately so if you could pick those things up too it would be great.

Oh and some baby diapers. Don***8217;t worry, I don***8217;t have a kid. It***8217;s for my pet ferret Squeeky. He***8217;s a crazy little guy. You***8217;ll love him! Sometimes he keeps me company on those lonely nights if you know what I mean. All it takes is a little peanut butter and Squeeky just goes to town. That***8217;s right, I ran out of peanut butter last night, so you could add that to the list too.

You***8217;re going to have a night you***8217;ll never forget! You***8217;ll never look at a ketchup bottle and a ferret the same way again. Don***8217;t wear anything dry clean only. It***8217;s going to be a wild night. Oh speaking of dry cleaning. I have just a few things to pick up at Woo***8217;s Dry Cleaners just up the block from my house, could you just pick that up for me. Just tell Mr. Woo I***8217;ll let him borrow Squeeky for a night and I***8217;m sure he***8217;ll be ok with that.

Added a little more. I still want to do more but I'm still thinking. I'm currently thinking of reasons I'd want her to bring a new pack of scrunchies.

EDIT: new paragraph

About the new pack of scrunchies, go ahead and pick a pack up with the rest of the other things. I haven***8217;t shaved around my dude piston in a while so we could use the scrunchies to hold my little lion***8217;s main back while I vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet.

Mag-Mower · 2006-04-04, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by Ivan

Added a little more. I still want to do more but I'm still thinking. I'm currently thinking of reasons I'd want her to bring a new pack of scrunchies.

You sir, are the king. Great stuff

Ait'al · 2006-04-04, 04:18 PM

Send something back to him about how long its been since your husband died and that the last time a guy hit on you was when you were about 59! 8p

Ivan · 2006-04-04, 04:33 PM

Ok, I'm running out of ideas. So here is the whole thing. Do what you may with it. I don't know if you want to keep that last paragraph.

I�ve been thinking about you since I got you message! You might me presently surprised when we get together; I�ve learned a few things you never even knew were possible since the last time we were together. One includes a ketchup bottle, but I won�t say another word. I�ll just let you �cum� to your own conclusions.

As for anything you could bring, well your sexy self of course and the ketchup for starters. And maybe some port wine and some Vieux Boulogne cheese, the smell of that cheese always gets me in the mood. Umm� eggs, milk, and a box of pop tarts� sorry I haven�t had a chance to get to the market lately so if you could pick those things up too it would be great.

Oh and some baby diapers. Don�t worry, I don�t have a kid. It�s for my pet ferret Squeeky. He�s a crazy little guy. You�ll love him! Sometimes he keeps me company on those lonely nights if you know what I mean. All it takes is a little peanut butter and Squeeky just goes to town. That�s right, I ran out of peanut butter last night, so you could add that to the list too.

You�re going to have a night you�ll never forget! You�ll never look at a ketchup bottle and a ferret the same way again. Don�t wear anything dry clean only. It�s going to be a wild night. Oh speaking of dry cleaning. I have just a few things to pick up at Woo�s Dry Cleaners just up the block from my house, could you just pick that up for me. Just tell Mr. Woo I�ll let him borrow Squeeky for a night and I�m sure he�ll be ok with that.

About the new pack of scrunchies, go ahead and pick a pack up with the rest of the other things. I haven�t shaved around my dude piston in a while so we could use the scrunchies to hold my little lion�s main back while I vulcanize the whoopee stick in the ham wallet.

I can�t wait to see you!! Squeeky can�t wait to meet you too. We�re going to have a night we�ll never forget! Oh when you�re at Mr. Woo�s tell him he�s invited to stop by if that�s ok with you of course. Believe me; the Asian stereo types are not true at all!

By the way, you have the wrong person, I hope my message confused, and scared the crap out of you the way yours did to me. Practice safe sex. Always use a condom, especially with those ferrets. Give Asians a shot, they need love too. Don�t forget to watch out for the killer clowns from outer space. Most importantly, have a nice life!

Mag-Mower · 2006-04-04, 04:43 PM

Last paragraph for teh lose. Other then that, thats freaking awesome!

Ait'al · 2006-04-04, 04:48 PM

I think the simple approach is best.

Fewer words are generally a stronger msg. It will get him off your back easier.

Edit: or you could be nice and just say its the wrong person. oO