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Navarone's state of the PSU Union speech
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Thank you very much. Mr. Speaker, Vice President Marsman, members of staff, distinguished guests, fellow whores: As we gather tonight, our nation is at war, our membership is in recession, and the civilized world faces unprecedented dangers. Yet the state of our Forums has never been stronger. (Applause.)
What we have found in Afghanistan confirms that, far from ending there, our war against spamming and l33t kiddies is only beginning. Most of the 10 losers who spammed were trained in Afghanistan's camps, and so were tens of thousands of others. Thousands of dangerous l33t kiddies, schooled in the methods of whoring, often supported by outlaw regimes, are now spread throughout the world like ticking time bombs, set to go off without warning.
Thanks to the work of our forum enforcement officials and coalition partners, hundreds of l33t kiddies have been arrested. Yet, tens of thousands of trained spammers are still at large. These enemies view the entire world as a battlefield, and we must pursue them wherever they are. (Applause.) So long as training camps operate, so long as nations harbor spammers, freedom is at risk. And America and our ally PSU must not, and will not, allow it. (Applause.)
Our nation will continue to be steadfast and patient and persistent in the pursuit of two great objectives. First, we will shut down l33t kiddie camps, disrupt spammage plans, and bring those royal pains in the ass to justice. (Applause.)
My hope is that all posters will heed our call, and eliminate the spamming parasites who threaten their countries and our own forums. Many nations are acting forcefully. Pakistan is now cracking down on all people who have used l33t speak in real life, and I admire the strong leadership of President Musharraf. (Applause.)
But some governments will be timid in the face of terror. And make no mistake about it: If they do not act, America will. *cough you chickenshitfrenchies cough*(Applause.)
States like these, and their spamwhore allies, constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of the forums of the world. By seeking weapons of mass whorage, these regimes pose a grave and growing danger. They could provide these cans of spam to l33t kiddies, giving them the means to match their hatred of the fact they will never, ever actually talk to a girl. They could attack our forums or attempt to blackmail Hamma with pics of his self made swimsuit calander. In any of these cases, the price of indifference would be catastrophic.
We will work closely with our coalition to deny these punk ass kids and their state sponsors the materials, technology, and expertise to make and deliver weapons of mass spammage. We will develop and deploy effective missile defenses to protect PSU and our allies from sudden attack. (Applause.) And all websites should know: PSU will do what is necessary to ensure our forum's security.
We'll be deliberate, yet time is not on our side. I will not wait on events, while dangers gather. I will not stand by, as peril draws closer and closer. The United States of America and PSU will not permit the world's most dangerous spam queefs to threaten us with the world's most fucking annoying weapons. (Applause.)
We stand for a different choice, made long ago, on the day of our founding. We affirm it again today. We choose freedom and the dignity of every member. We will not tolerate l33t kiddies, 12 year old spammers, trolls (unless they are funnier than I), or anyone who admits to liking the tribes and PS flight model. (Applause.)
Steadfast in our purpose, we now press on. We have known freedom's price. We have shown freedom's power. And in this great conflict, my fellow Americans, Canadians, and other foreign people, we will see freedom's victory.
Thank you all. May God bless. (Applause.)
/Navarone bows, prepares to take over another small country
*these view are strictly those of myself and George W. Bush and are not advocated or supported by PSU*
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2003-06-09, 09:13 PM
Hybrid Mode
