random thoughts

[OneManArmy]

why is the minute waltz longer than a minute?

[Jabberwocky]

I wonder if clowns taste funny.

[BUGGER]

ewwww

[Cyanide]

One day a bird shat on my head. So as I wiped the shit out of my hair and covered my face with it, I thought; what If I went back in time and warned myself not to stand under the sign that said "Warning: out door exlax testing facility". Then I realized that if I went back in time to stop the shatting, I would have had no reason to go back in time. So I would not have stopped the shatting. So I would have gone back, because I would have gotten shat on because I never stopped the shatting. So I would have stopped that shatting, which means I never would have went back in time to stop the shatting. My brain hurts now.

If kodak cameras are called kodak because that's the sound a camera makes, then why isn't my ass called a ppppfffffffffffffffff.

The ending of the matrix would have been so much better if keanue woke up in bed and said, "whoa".

The box says my pop-tarts should only take 3 seconds in the microwave. But DAMNIT, they take THIRTY freakin seconds! I want my Pop-tart in 3 seconds or LESS. Nobody ever thinks of the people with A.D.D

/me breaks into song.

allll byyy myseeEEeeellf....don't wanna bEA...Alllll BY my SEEeellfff...aaanymOOre...

[Jabberwocky]

A.D.D joke:


Knock-knock.
Who's there?

Wanna go ride bikes?

[Strygun]

sometimes ya feel like a nut, sometimes ya don't.

[martyr]

fried cod over bananas with ranch dressing

[EineBeBoP]

As I crawled over the top of the large hill to the east of the enemy encampment, I reached into my belt pocket, and grabbed the remote trigger. Using the binoclular wraped around my neck, I checked for friendlies in the areas of the mines, and when i thought it was clear, I hit the button.

The ground covering the mines exploded upwards, as the Nylon fabric was pushed into the air by 50K Compressed air canisteres beneath them. The fabric grew larger, and larger with no stop in sight.

After 5 minutes, a fully inflated Nylon penis floated 15 stories tall above the enemy camp, with a few hundred confused soldiers milling around beneath it looking at it with the most confused looks i'd ever seen.

That was when I hit the Other button, detonating the 30 5lb. C4 bricks within the giant baloon, sending the billions of small metalic balls encompasing them flying everywhere, including into the soldiers.

This had been the most fun operation I'd ever been on!

^^^ was written in 7 min. off the top of my head.

[Cyanide]

If a women ever asks me if something makes her butt look big. I will say "no dear, nothing could make your butt look bigger than it already is".

Fuck valentines day.

I'm not bitter because i'm single. Quite the opposite actually.

Lots of people have photographic memories. Most of them just don't have any film.

[BUGGER]

What would happen if someones head was really an asshole?

[Ivan]

Originally Posted by BUGGER

What would happen if someones head was really an asshole?

I'd be humping a lot of heads...

[BUGGER]

wait......even a man's head? ........WAIT!!! Which head do you mean?


GAH, i'm gona have bad dreams tonight.

[worldvengence]

my ass hurts

[edit] and my knees too

[AztecWarrior]

Mister Anderson. You seem to be leading two lives...

[MidnightDave]

My dog is demonic.



that depends on what the definition of is, is

how do you even ask that quetsion if the definition of is, is in question

there I go, is again, how is it I never get through a sentence with out saying is