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2003-03-25, 02:29 PM | [Ignore Me] #16 | ||
Sergeant Major
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I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of my lack of Beta, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this game will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "Team combat on an epic scale." I have a dream that one day on the green hills of Gunuku the Terrans, the former slaves to Terra and the mighty Vanu will be able to gather together in anger and beat the unholy SH*T out of one another. I have a dream that one day even the Itan Biolab, sweltering with the heat of Terran injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom, and carnage. I have a dream that my teammates and I will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the age of their characters but by the extent of their mad skillz. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day the Orisha Technology Plant, which is today a stagnant and oft-forgotten corner of the battlefield, will be transformed into a battlefield where Terran, Vanu and New Conglomerate soldiers are piled twelve high, and screams of pain are surpassed only by the deafening music of weaponry. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be choked with smouldering MAX armors, every hill and mountain shall be made plentiful with snipers, the rough places will be made plain by the incessant passage of tanks, and the crooked places will be made straight by the constant pounding of missiles, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together, right before getting rammed by a Mosquito. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to gaming. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our gaming pasttime into a beautiful symphony of war. With this faith we will be able to fight together, to die together, to struggle together, to get 0wned together, to stand up for l33tness together, knowing that we will be 0wning one day. And if Planetside is to be a great game this must become true. So let the beta applications be granted! When we can play Planetside, when we can play at any hour of the day or night, in our choice of armor and weapons and vehicles, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, New Conglomerate MAX and Terran Light Armor, Pilot and Hacker, Sniper and Vanu MAX, will be able to join battle in the full, retail version of the game and sing in the words of the old ***** spiritual, "F*cking cheater! Wallhack! Omg!"
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2003-03-25, 02:39 PM | [Ignore Me] #19 | ||
Sergeant Major
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Hey, thanks Brotha! I seriously can't wait to do beta with you guys. God, we are going to have a blast.
Btw: Dave, you should put a link to that speech ^^^ in your information section or something. I put real copywriting skills into writing that motha.
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2003-03-25, 03:40 PM | [Ignore Me] #23 | |||
Sergeant Major
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My personal favorite:
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2003-03-25, 05:40 PM | [Ignore Me] #27 | ||
Sergeant Major
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I actually wanted to do one based on the Unabomber's Manifesto, but it was too damn long, and no individual sections were recognizable to ordinary people.
It might be a good template for some really well-written, thoroughly one-sided propaganda, however (should anyone feel like writing some).
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