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Old 2003-11-19, 06:06 PM   [Ignore Me] #1
Happy lil Elf
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Seasonal Joke


A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw his hands up, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the bird sqwaked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total silence. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he had hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriat transgressions and I fully intend to do anything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the birds attitude. As he was about to ask the bird what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
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Its eating it's food. (Incorrect use of apostrophes specifically for UV)
"Oni wont get banned, unless you get banned. Its a 2 man ticket."-Hamma to TekDragon re: his request to ban Oni. Life is good.
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Old 2003-11-19, 08:25 PM   [Ignore Me] #2
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:d
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
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Old 2003-11-19, 08:29 PM   [Ignore Me] #3
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what a wacko, i would think it was awesome if my bird could do that, i wouldn't try to freeze it to death
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Old 2003-11-19, 08:30 PM   [Ignore Me] #4
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Tough crowd!

In some cases not all that bright either! *Points up to the botched smily and the idiot who thinks the story is real*.
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Old 2003-11-19, 08:33 PM   [Ignore Me] #5
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i was kidding, seeing that this is a joke thread, jeez
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Old 2003-11-19, 08:44 PM   [Ignore Me] #6
EineBeBoP
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very nice
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