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Old 2003-11-26, 12:09 AM   [Ignore Me] #1
AztecWarrior
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Deus Ex 2 Demo Parody! ROFL!


http://66.193.119.177/index.php?showtopic=205522

Spector:
Your appointment to Microsoft should be finalized within the week. I've already discussed the matter with Eidos.

Smith:
I take it they were agreeable?

Spector:
They didn't really have a choice.

Smith:
Have they been infected?

Spector:
Oh, yes, most certainly. When I mentioned that we could push more copies on the XBox, they were so willing it was almost pathetic.

Smith:
This demo - the rioting is intensifying to the point where we may not be able to contain it.

Spector:
Why contain it? Let it spill over into the fan sites and chatrooms, let the posts pile up on the server. In the end, they'll beg us to ship it.

Smith:
I've received reports of armed attacks on team members. There's not enough of us to placate them, the PC gamers are starting to get desperate.

Spector:
Of course they're desperate. They can smell their death, and the sound they'll make rattling their cage will serve as a warning to the Thief fans.

Smith:
Mmm. I hope you're not underestimating the problem. The others may not go as quietly as you think - they've had two games done properly, rather than just one, after all.

Spector:
A bunch of pretentious old men posting on TTLG.

But the world left them behind long ago. Consoles are the future.

Smith:
We have other problems.

Spector:
The mod community?

Smith:
Formed by passion for good gaming, and a desire to be involved. I have someone in place, though. I'm concerned they'll take matters into their own hands.

Spector:
Our development skills are far in advance of theirs, as is our distribution system. And their... ethical inflexibility has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.

Smith:
Universal ammo?

Spector:
Among other things - but I must admit that I've been somewhat disappointed in the performance of the primary unit.

Smith:
The secondary unit should be online soon. It's currently undergoing preparation and will be operational within six months. My people will continue to report on its progress. If necessary, the primary will be terminated.

Spector:
We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again, a new age. Gates spoke of the mythical City on the Hill. Soon that city will be a reality, and we will be crowned its kings.

Or better than kings. Microsoft lackeys!.
__________________
The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
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Old 2003-11-26, 12:12 AM   [Ignore Me] #2
Setari
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Old 2003-11-26, 12:13 AM   [Ignore Me] #3
Squeeky
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Nice.
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Old 2003-11-26, 08:42 PM   [Ignore Me] #4
Corrosion
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