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2004-11-12, 09:33 AM
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[Ignore Me] #1 | ||
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Cynical Brit
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Shell shock at two-headed tortoise
The two-headed tortoise The tortoise's heads work independently of each other A two-headed tortoise has come out of its shell in Dorset to find itself in the media spotlight.  The unusual case of a Mediterranean spur-thighed tortoise, born two months ago in an incubator, made the headlines in various papers on Friday. Owner John Jones, from Dorchester, who has 37 tortoises and has kept them for 55 years, said: "I was really surprised - I had never seen anything like it. "It is perfectly healthy and is running around with all the other tortoises. "I think each head has its own little brain because they do try to move in different directions." Although it is an unusual case, it is not unique. In 2003 another two-headed tortoise was found in South Africa. In the genes And Jill Martin, of the Tortoise Trust, also hatched one in south Wales in 2001. She said: "They are very rare but not unknown. It is believed to be a congenital, rather than incubation, problem that causes it." "These tortoises can't be imported any more like they used to be, but there are breeders in this country. "They will charge about �100 for a tortoise, but it is impossible to say what a conjoined tortoise would be worth." Mr Jones, 66, from Dorchester, said he had named the tortoise Solomon and Sheba as he was not sure what sex it was. "It likes lettuce, tomato, cucumber, cress and runner beans - but its favourite food is thistle milk," he said. "Both heads eat and sometimes they start on the same piece of food and meet in the middle." |
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2004-11-12, 09:34 AM
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[Ignore Me] #2 | ||
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Staff Sergeant
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It will take over the WORLD!!!! AHHH!!!
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[I did read the forum rules stupid sig bot! BITE ME!]   Join the resistance before its too late! Dont let google take over the world! Set your homepage to anything BUT www.google.com Google = SkyNet The goal of the resistance is not total elimination of google, just don use it as your homepage. Feel free to use the text, if you feel so inclined. |
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2004-11-12, 03:07 PM
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[Ignore Me] #9 | ||
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Lightbulb Collector
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I want one.
I'll mount a helmet-guided laser beam on its shell, and it'll run around like an attack helicopter- one head moves around, the other fires.
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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2004-11-12, 03:41 PM
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[Ignore Me] #10 | |||
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Sergeant Major
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That was clearly one of the best lines in a LONG time. That and Squeeky's rail comment. If I had a sig,. or got around to deciding what one would be good for me, those two would definitely be placed in it. |
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2004-11-12, 08:52 PM
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[Ignore Me] #12 | ||
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lol
aztec: seeing the tactical aplicability of a twisted genetic freak tortoise. i wonder if the head comunicate with one another neuraly, and if both minds have full control of motor functions of if one has some stuff and the other has the rest
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 All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others. |
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2004-11-12, 09:33 PM
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[Ignore Me] #13 | |||
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Lightbulb Collector
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__________________
The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly. |
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Thats kinda creepy 
Linear Mode
