Funny Vanu Stories

[Jarlo]

I stole these from the Message boards-- funny as hell 8)

Two men wearing labcoats stood at a table. The room was brightly lit and throbbed with alien energy. The Vanu insignia adorned everything.
"Behold," said the taller of the two scientists. "My creation. I shall call it the Beamer."

"A marvelous gun, Dr. Moopface. Have you tested it?"

"Not yet, Dr. Limmy. Shall we give it a test run?"

"You do the honors, doctor."

Dr. Moopface picked the weapon up and tested its weight. He smiled, running his hand down the weapon. A truly marvelous creation, a wonder of-

BZOW!

"Ow!"

"Oh my god! Dr. Limmy, are you alright?" Dr. Moopface dropped the weapon to the table and rushed to his fallen collegue.

Dr. Limmy sat up in Dr. Moopface's arms, a confused look on his face. "You... shot me..."

"I didn't mean to! The trigger slipped, I-"

"I actually don't feel that bad."

Dr. Moopface hesitated. "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean... I feel ok." Dr. Limmy rubbed his chest. "Actually... I think I just got the wind knocked out of me."

"But I shot you!" shouted Dr. Moopface, who was beginning to feel that something horribly wrong had taken place.

"I know. Isn't this wierd?" The two doctors stood, and Dr. Limmy picked the weapon up. Before Dr. Moopface could stop him, Limmy put the weapon to his head and pulled the trigger.

BZOW!

"Actually, it feels kinda tingly."

"Stop that."

"Its like a neat massage toy."

BZOW! BZOW! BZOW!

"Whoo!"

Dr. Moopface snatches the weapon from Dr. Limmy. "Give me that! This is a... highly dangerous tool of war!"

"Is there a reason why you didn't make your weapon lethal, Dr. Moopface?"

"Well, I had to tone down the damage a bit. You know, to fit in the AP mode."

"The AP mode? Why would it need that?"

Dr. Moopface smiled, holding the weapon higher. "Why, to make it reasonable against vehicles, of course."

"Last I checked, Dr. Moopface, the Terran Republic were not driving bigwheels."

"I hate you, Dr. Limmy."