The Nature of the Problem

[AztecWarrior]

The Nature of the Problem

or Why Aztec will be girlfriendless for at least until mid-College.

another insane intellectual thought I've been having. In the past week, I've noted the similarity of Homecoming Week to 1984's Hate Week, society pushing down women is reflected in AIM names, racism in the senior play during Homecoming Week, and now this.

So without further ado, The Nature of the Problem.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The problem: Why can't Aztec actually get a girlfriend? He knows some girls, and tried once.

The simple answer: I think.

The justification:

After a few years of experience, and please do not hesitate to correct me if I am wrong, most girls follow this pyramid when it comes to guys. Top is better, lower is worse.

-Jocks- sports players

-the "ghetto"- the cool kids

-the all-around performer- he isn't failing everything like the jock, and doesn't come to school waving his gold chains, but is rather a mix of several qualities. This category has various grades of people, from "ghetto jock with a 2.1" to "guitarist with a 3.2 who is on the rowing team". Most people and school stereotypes, such as the "teacher's pet" and the "wannabe ghetto" fall into this category.

-gamers- rather play the leaked beta of a game over LAN than go to a dance (unless they have a girl). Playing HALO once doesn't make you a gamer. People who take this up as a hobby are.

And finally, the thinkers.

The thinkers can be a combination of gamer, as I am. They can be on a sport team, but you'll always be a geek. I'm in rowing, but nobody considers me a jock. Which is good.

The thinkers do good in school, even better than gamers. However, their interests go beyond games into other areas. Basically, that wierd fuckup who knows the WW2 Luftwaffe markings, etc. (that fuckup is me).

I know several girls, but they don't really appeal to me. I hate techno, rap, and pop, so I don't go to the school dances. I don't like Goth chicks (please tell this to my friend, he's trying to hook me up).

I think, seriously, I'm quite a bit beyond some of my peers. For one, I cannot make a coherent sentence in Ebonics (what does "up the heezy" mean, anyway?). My vocabulary doesn't consist of the words "fuck" and "yo". This can lead to some people making entire sentences out of just those two words, like a hydrocarbon molecule.

But the problem goes even deeper. Assuming I do get a girlfriend, I won't "do anything" with her. By that I mean I won't have sex with her. Why? I think I'm Last of the Catholics.



Now I'm not saying I am 100% fucked for life. There ARE girls like me, somwhere. But they hate techno, rap, and pop, so they don't go to dances.

Anyone that has actually read all this deserves Dio's Teh Two Cookies award.

EDIT: All-male school.