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Originally Posted by Karamur on a Differnat Board.
There's a lot of myths and half-truths surrounding Valentines Day. This is my favorite one, courtesy of the History Channel.
Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, performed marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
Wow.
Wow wow wow wow wow.
Death sentence for marrying young lovers. Harsh. And you know what? Given what we now know about Valentine's Day, I bet 80%of american men would gladly travel back in time to stomp a mudhole in that lousy, love-mongering Valentine. (On that 80% figure: Reckon 10 percent of American guys are gay and the other 10 percent arent allowed to travel back in time because their wives wont let them.)
What a lousy holiday, this Valentine's Day. You can't win. Best you could do is hope for a tie, and that's only if you empty out your bank account.
See what a dozen roses cost this year? Try 80 fucking dollers.
EIGHTY DOLLERS! For twelve weeds.... ooh, sorry, roses aren't weeds. They're declarations of love. THat's what a red rose means, "i love you." A white rose means "you're heavenly." A pink rose means "you're lovely."
And you know what the fetid water sitting in the bottom of the vase with decaying roses wilting at the top means? means "the water i'd like to make every Valentines day opportuist drink"
Candy, cards, flowers, gifts. Money, Moolah, cashish, simoleans. Drains all the romance out of it - and this is one guy who's all about the romance. How in the world can Valentine's Day be romantic when us shlubs are going from store to store buying all the requisite Valentine's Day items?
I can't.
So that's why I'm calling on all you womenfolk lurking this god forsaken boards to put a stop to this madness. End the annual Velentine's Day Bank Account Massacre. Tell us you don't want us to spend all this money on this manufactured holiday. Tell us instead of celebrating Valentin's Day, you'd rather have us otherwise decent fellas celebrate our love to you in other, less obvious ways.
Like making dinner once in a while, or bringing flowers home for no good reason, or even just one of those corny "Thinking of You: cards. Anything to break the bondage of Valentine's Day.
My girlfriend has already gone on record as saying she doesn't want me to spend money on flowers. But she did mention something about a hanging plant.
A fucking hanging plant....
Well, i suppose nothing says "I love you" quite like a rat's-tail-cactus (actual hanging plant).
Now there's a fucking Hallmark card you won't be seeing this year.
I hate holidays, especially ones where I dont get days off
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