So my parents are going on holiday tomorrow

[Hezzy]

My mum just gave me a lecture on what we can't do. Hilarity ensues:

Mum: As you know, we're going on holiday tomorrow.
Me: Are you serious? You cannot be serious!
Mum: I am serious. Now, there will be no shenanigans, you hear me?
Me and John: HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA
Mum: What? WHAT?!
Me: Nothing. What were you saying?
Mum: I'm being serious now, no drinking.
Me: Obviously
Mum: No one is to be in this house, you hear? I've told the neighbours that we're going on holiday, and if there's any funny stuff, they'll intervene.
Me: Ok.
Mum: And no lighting fires.
Me: Oh yeah, I just love to light fires. I think I'll light a fire, right here. *points into the corner of the living room*
Mum: I'm not joking around, Adam. Not like last time when you lit those peterol cans in the garden
Me: Peterol cans? Yeah sure. I love to blow myself to bits, too.
Mum: Whatever they were. Anyway, the people at the police station know that we're going away on holiday too, so they'll be going past the house more.
Me: I suppose you've hired a personal SWAT team and helicopters to follow me around too, eh?
Mum: Stop being an arse. I think thats it. Oh yeah! And the brown bin goes out with the normal bin tomorrow.


So, apparently I'm not allowed to get drunk out of my face, invite all my friends around, then light a fire in the corner of the living room. Bugger. Just what I love to do. And I have the whole police force following me around. Me and my cousin nearly pissed our selves when we came out imagining the scene.

"Alpha team! They're coming out of the house! Go go go!!"

*helicopter hovers overhead with guys rappelling out of it while 4 or so SWAT vans pull up and arm their beanbag rifles at us, complete with beanbag catapult in tow*


To help you imagine this scene, here is a picture from our point of view:



There's the guy camoflagued in my garden who radios the team in. The beanbag catapult can be clearly seen in the background, and there's a BWAT and OMG van that pulled up.

Beanbag
Weapons
And
Tactics

Overly
Managed
Goodresponseteam