Today: a blind date which will live in infamy

[AztecWarrior]

Cliff Notes Version, for the people in PSU that are special: Al Gore invented the internet, do you really trust him for dating?

Goths need not read this post.

The full version:

First of all, I like to think I am an ordinary, meat-and-potatoes gamer kid. I don't wear gothy clothes, don't wear message shirts, I like Jesus, conservative, 16 years old, etc.

Another friend, an Italian/Cuban who has lost all vestiges of heritage and is really white (literally, he's pale from nonexposure to the sun) who goes by Dark Valor on the internet, is the same, minus Jesus. We're pretty similar, except he wears more black. And he owes me $3.25.

My third friend, a Brazilian-born, Germanic-heritage Brazilian/German nationalist kid who listens to stuff like Godsmack, i.e. modern alt rock, or nu rock, or whatever you call it, is also pretty much the same.

We're all gamers.

The third guy, whom we shall call PJ, had the most excellent idea of having us go to the mall at Sunset Place: Gameworks, and then see a movie. With "some chicks he met online." That's all he really knew except that one was "busted". The movie we were going to see, Finding Neverland, is horrible, and Dark Valor simply planned to skip it.

So, we did this today, Saturday.

Gameworks, for people like Rbstr who live in the cornbelt and don't know this, is similar to places like Dave and Buster's, or pretty much massive arcades with a bar, pool hall, etc. We go there, have some fun playing Time Crisis and the game with the riot shield + submachinegun, until we exhaust our funds. We buy some Cokes (for you picky types, it was Coca-Cola. I don't cal soda "Coke".), and soon it comes the time to meet the girls.

Children, the internet isn't WYSIWIG.

They weren't 40 year old rapists or anything, they can best be described as goths that weren't wearing chains, capes, black clothes, and body piercings that day. Or goths that hadn't bought into the consumerist, Hot Topic-speared culture yet. We met them in Virgin Records reading a Playboy book on how to be a bad girl.

It was probably the most incompatible thing short of matching a *** with a Nazi.

There were three of them and one brought their boyfriend- thanks for the heads-up, Weeping Raven. One had a maroon blouse with a pentagram neckalce over it (immediately sounding the WARNING: This Person Is Evil alarm in my head), the other wore a T-shirt with Elmo on it, the kind of satirical T you find at Hot Topic, and the other had ...fuck, I don't remember. The boyfriend had a black sweater and jeans- completely out of climate, but he just had to look gothy and moody. There is no winter in Miami. Ever. In the fall, a shirt and jeans is stretching it.

It became immediately apparent to me on first sight that these people did not intend to see Finding Neverland, a movie about a guy who makes the play called Peter Pan.

Of course, the first place they went to was Hot Topic. At no point in time did they try to talk with us, or vice-versa: we believe that Hot Topic is a shithole that deserves to be burned down, with its $7 shoelaces, "look-at-me-I'm-wearing-almost-as-much-metal-on-my-jeans-as-in-my-piercings" black baggy pants, or Che Guevara T-shirts. Two of them were completely wild and looked about everything in the time it takes for you to read this sentence. We pretended to be amused- there were a few shirts that were funny. There was one from Office Space, another that says "I *glove* MJ", and one making a reference to Compton. But that's IT.

At that point, Valor was considering making a break for it.

The group sepearated shortly after, as the two girls with AD/HD ran amok, looking for clothing stores. We followed them. Eventually, they came to the 2nd floor and we passed by a pretzel place. Valor got a pretzel. I had a crazy idea.

"Do you see them?" I asked, humorously, while also giving that invisible nudge that I was using it as an excuse to get the fuck out of there.

They had actually lost us.

"Uhh...no." They agreed.

So we went into AMC Theatres and watched Saw, which was an OK movie. Alone.

Basically, I will never trust PJ again to set up any possible outings involving members of the opposite sex.

Now, I've probably inadequately described the incident and you are thinking "BLOLOLOLOL U SUCK AT LYFE." I will restate this again: they embrace goth culture but don't yet dress like it, though they clearly want to. I also forgot to tell you that they were looking at the tatoo kiosk.

This trendy crap, I hate it. If you buy into a mindless culture that tells you what is cool, I have no respect for you at all.

Valor put it best: "There are 90% of chicks who are bad: rap, pop, or goth. There are the 10% who aren't. We are supposed to find that 10%."