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This is truly a horrific contemporary cautionary tale about a 21 year old from Arizona who, from the looks of it, liked to take drugs and chat on IRC. I've known people who've done similar things...logged onto entheogen discussion channels while under the influence to report their experiences in real time. Sort of a live Erowid.
Brandon Carl Vedas, aka "ripper," even had his webcam streaming as he started to take the drugs, which it should be noted, were almost all pharmaceuticals: methadone, oxy-contin [a commenter has corrected me that, according to the IRC logs, it was "8000mg equivalent of oxy-contin," not oxy-contin], inderal, klonopin. As a channel of his irc buddies watched, Brandon chatted as best he could, reassuring folks that "my mom is in the next room doing crozzwordz," and reminding those who cautioned him that he'd taken too much, "I told u I was hardcore."
Eventually, as everyone watched, he passed out.
Eventually, as everyone watched, he died. [A commenter has corrected me that his webcam was turned off before he died.]
Reading the IRC logs chilled me to the bone. First you saw people cheering him on, just as you'd expect from a drug machismo crowd. I know this kind of machismo. Reading Brandon's words reminded me so much of John, my ex-boyfriend...he was always famous for pushing himself farther and farther with drugs, always non-chalanty chatty about it..."Yeah, whatever. It was no big deal. I told you I was fucking hardcore." I never cheered him on, but he kept on pushing.
IRC users started to panic once Brandon passed out, realizing that they don't have his address, and 911 can't do anything with a cell phone number. Can you imagine the powerless these people must have felt? The agony, first deliberating whether to call anyone � after all, no-one wants to get a friend busted � and then, once they realized they needed to call, realizing there was nothing they could do? Chilling. Truly chilling.
Folks who spend a lot of time online know about that weird line in the sand between internet and reality. When does an online stalker become a real threat? When does an e-mail flirtation become a real prospect? And when does some online person's drug use go from an abstraction to a deadly overdose?
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2004-11-09, 11:16 PM
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