Top Eight Morons of the Year

[Squeeky]

Top Eight Morons of the Year

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine
months, saying he lacked Intellectual leadership. He
received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking
intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours
attempting to subdue a gunman, who had barricaded
himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was
standing beside them in the police line, shouting
"Please ... Come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,
kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two
different automated teller machines, where the
kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop,
and asked for all the money in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the
store clerk and worked the counter himself for
three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a
robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself
during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in
the lineup to repeat the words "Give me all your
money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not
what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife
is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!".

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was
arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America
branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he
failed
to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellllllooooooo!)

8. AND THE GRAND FINALE.................
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in
the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield,
California, some folks, new to boating, were having
problems. No matter how hard they tried, they
couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going properly.

It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no
matter how much power was applied. After about
an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a
nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell
them what was wrong. A thorough topside check
revealed everything in perfect working condition.

The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down,
the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of
the marina guys jumped into the water to check
underneath, he came up choking on water, because he
was laughing so hard.

NOW REMEMBER. THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,
was the trailer ...!!!!!