Beer, your sarcasm warms my heart on this cold winter morning.
Electro, I like the idea of dynamic XP as you've suggested. It may be convoluted for new players to 'get' but my guess is that we'd see some kinda formula pop up on Reddit within a week that sorts the whole thing out so I'm not too worried about them. Hell, new players are having a hard enough time getting a grasp on the game. I introduced it to my brother and he told me that if I wasn't telling him where to go and what to do he would have thrown his monitor across the room. The
basics, that's what new players need tutorials for.
And yeah, keeping the tubes up was always guaranteeing a fight but IIRC that was only because there were a dozen boomers on the gen, just in case we needed to take our toys and go home