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Old 2003-11-19, 10:15 PM   [Ignore Me] #1
AztecWarrior
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
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Old 2003-11-19, 11:25 PM   [Ignore Me] #2
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Old 2003-11-19, 11:26 PM   [Ignore Me] #3
Onizuka
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laff.
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Old 2003-11-20, 12:21 AM   [Ignore Me] #4
1024
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I want a black hole.
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Old 2003-11-20, 12:40 AM   [Ignore Me] #5
Rayder
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PLANET KABANGERS

What you get: 200 million miles of carbon nanotube fiber, the strongest known "rope" in the Universe.

What you do: connect one end of the fiber to the Earth, and the other end to another planet, such as Mars.

What you do next: wait for the fiber to "catch" against the sun, slamming the two planets into each other.

Last step: laugh maniacally.


Weeee!
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Old 2003-11-20, 12:47 AM   [Ignore Me] #6
arctik
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"In preparation for its impending annihilation by U.S. Forces, the Government of -I-r-a-q- Syria is liquidating its entire stock of Weapons Grade Plutonium-239"

I love how they crossed it out in the original article. For some eason it doesnt show it on these forums.

And laff at the "World smallest hand gun" as small as a particle on your finger. Haha, I want one NOW! Also a few of thoughs super powers would be pretty sweet.
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Old 2003-11-20, 12:49 AM   [Ignore Me] #7
AztecWarrior
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Originally Posted by Rayder
PLANET KABANGERS

What you get: 200 million miles of carbon nanotube fiber, the strongest known "rope" in the Universe.

What you do: connect one end of the fiber to the Earth, and the other end to another planet, such as Mars.

What you do next: wait for the fiber to "catch" against the sun, slamming the two planets into each other.

Last step: laugh maniacally.


Weeee!
That was awesome!
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The gun katas. Through analysis of thousands of recorded gunfights, the Cleric has determined that the geometric distribution of antagonists in any gun battle is a statistically predictable element. The gun kata treats the gun as a total weapon, each fluid position representing a maximum kill zone, inflicting maximum damage on the maximum number of opponents while keeping the defender clear of the statistically traditional trajectories of return fire. By the rote mastery of this art, your firing efficiency will rise by no less than 120%. The difference of a 63% increase to lethal proficiency makes the master of the gun katas an adversary not to be taken lightly.
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Old 2003-11-20, 07:13 PM   [Ignore Me] #8
Squeeky
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Woot! My plutonium is on sale
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Old 2003-11-20, 07:31 PM   [Ignore Me] #9
JetRaiden
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for god sakes someone buy the Shoulder-Mounted laser cannon so I can see if they really sell any of that stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

or at least the taser....
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Old 2003-11-21, 01:50 AM   [Ignore Me] #10
Irenicuz
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STROKABLE PUSSY

Nothing intimidates a "hero" more than sitting in your stainless steel control seat, stroking your pussy. Actually, we can't thing of any activity more lame and effeminate. But if it's good enough for Ernst Stavro Blofeld, it's good enough for us.

Price: US$149.99 each
*evil cat food, evil collar, and evil litter pan not included.



Sweeeet.
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Old 2003-11-21, 02:38 AM   [Ignore Me] #11
Corrosion
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2 yr OFN, Eine showed me this a while back

I want the tiger
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Old 2003-11-22, 03:42 PM   [Ignore Me] #12
Dizik
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Who needs CR4/5 when you can get one of these?

SOL ORBITAL LASER PLATFORM & CONTROL UNIT

The Neo-Tokyo Global Defense Forum, as part of their Rebuild Tokyo Again Clearance Sale, is looking for buyers for its remaining functional SOL ("Solar Orbital Laser) Platform.

The satellite fires a 50 terawatt coherent beam at Earth-based targets, with area-of-effect control so precise, you can eradicate a city block or slice someone's arm off. The laser is controlled by a unique "aim and shoot" hand-held control unit -- just fire and forget. The SOL is guaranteed to vaporize any target,* and since the system is physically located in Earth orbit, the unit is safe from almost any attacker.**

In order to cover our rebuilding costs, we are letting this system go at a remarkable low price.

Price: �30,000,000,000
*God-like super-evolved teenage research subjects with inferiority complexes may only be partially vaporized
**Except those who can fly into space, possess orbital launch capabilities, or can shoot/melt things with their minds from a distance of several hundred kilometers.
Somebody buy me one for Christmas.
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Old 2003-11-22, 09:40 PM   [Ignore Me] #13
Searo
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Post accidentally destroyed by very visible, easily accessible self-destruct button.
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Old 2003-11-22, 10:32 PM   [Ignore Me] #14
firecrackerNC
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Wow really expensive stuff but I took my parents credit card and ordered a few things.Got a THE INFLATABLE LAIR� really cheap too,bout 120 i think.ULTRA-BUDGET MAN TRAP for $29.49.And last but not least a ACCUKAK SYSTEMS PULSE RIFLE.Soo i got my lair,a trap to protect my lair and a gun to shoot people with.Man this sites almost as good as E-Bay.
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Old 2003-11-22, 10:44 PM   [Ignore Me] #15
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No word instills fear in the hearts of the worthless human populace than "mime," and for good reason. Since the days of ancient Greece, these harbingers of silent torture have forced their so-called "art" upon countless millions of annoyed and unamused spectators. But even within the evil fraternity of mimes, one name is spoken with trepidation and dread. He is the Dark Prince of Mimes, the one called The Myme. And he's our June Customer of the Month.
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