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Old 2004-02-23, 09:35 AM   [Ignore Me] #1
Strygun
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Helpful hints when ordering pizza


1. If using a touch tone phone push random numbers while
talking and ask the person to stop that.

2. Use CB lingo.

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this
conversation."

4. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

5. Instead of naming the toppings, spell them out.

6. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST,
FREE-SPIRITED, COST-EFFICIENT, UKRAINIAN, and PUCE.

7. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

8. If they repeat your order to make sure they have it
right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99, please pull to the
next window."

9. Try to rent a pizza.

10. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

11. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther away as you
speak. When the call ends, jerk it back and scream goodbye
at the top of your lungs.

12. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

13. Ask to see a menu.

14. Report a petty theft.

15. If they suggest something, adamantly declare, "I will
not be swayed by your sweet words."

17. Start your conversation with, "My call to Pizza Hut,
Take one... and.... ACTION!"

18. Act nervous and press 9-1-1 every five seconds
throughout the order.

19. After ordering, say, "I wonder what this button does"
and simulate a cut-off.

20. Start your conversation by reciting the day's date and
saying, "This may be my last entry."

21. Say, "Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt" rather loudly and ask them if
they felt that.

22. Teach the order taker a secret code and use it on all
subsequent orders.

23. When the price is quoted, say, "Ooooooooo, that sounds
complicated. I hate math."

24. If they suggest a side order ask, "Why are you
punishing me?"

25. Have a movie with a car chase scene playing loudly in
the background. Yell, "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

26. Dance around the word "pizza" and avoid it at all
costs. If they say it, say, "Please don't mention that
word!"
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Old 2004-02-23, 10:11 AM   [Ignore Me] #2
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Thoes are great.
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Old 2004-02-23, 10:17 AM   [Ignore Me] #3
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No verbs
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Old 2004-02-23, 10:23 AM   [Ignore Me] #4
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Old 2004-02-23, 10:43 AM   [Ignore Me] #5
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These are froms Ebaumsworld arnt they? Still very very funny....
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Old 2004-02-23, 11:20 AM   [Ignore Me] #6
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I make it habit to treat people like kings if they are about to have 'quality time' with my food. No special wonton soup for me, plz.

Funny list tho.
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Old 2004-02-23, 04:15 PM   [Ignore Me] #7
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Old 2004-02-23, 04:21 PM   [Ignore Me] #8
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Well i do feel like pizza right now......
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Old 2004-02-23, 04:42 PM   [Ignore Me] #9
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Originally Posted by Vipergts1587
These are froms Ebaumsworld arnt they? Still very very funny....
I wouldn't know, I don't visit that site
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Old 2004-02-23, 07:46 PM   [Ignore Me] #10
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lmao @ #11
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Old 2004-02-23, 07:51 PM   [Ignore Me] #11
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makes me want to order alot of pizzas just so I can try all of those.
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Old 2004-02-23, 08:19 PM   [Ignore Me] #12
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Old 2004-02-23, 09:11 PM   [Ignore Me] #13
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Originally Posted by Veteran
I make it habit to treat people like kings if they are about to have 'quality time' with my food. No special wonton soup for me, plz.

Funny list tho.
Me too, I have heard to many horror stories from freinds in the food service industry to piss anyone off who gets alone time with my food.

I have to try some of that though...
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Old 2004-02-23, 09:36 PM   [Ignore Me] #14
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I once had a stack of plastic bags next to my phone that I'd inflate when a soliciter called. Once I had him/her talking about his/her product, I'd hold the bag up to the receiver and pop it. I would then cry, "Aaugh, I've been shot!" before hanging up the phone.

Ah, good times. I should have never put my number on the National Do-Not Call list, I had fun with telecommunicators.
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Old 2004-02-23, 09:51 PM   [Ignore Me] #15
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that national do not call list just makes it where only the biggest advertisers can legaly call you ya know...
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