Leaked Beta info 1.0

[TimberWolf2K]

You guys won�t believe this but I got some cool beta info for you!!
I just this second got off the phone with a friend who knows the guy who walks the dog of a guy who cuts the hair of the next-door neighbour of someone who works in the SAME BULDING as the Planetside dev team. Here�s the scoop:

1) PlanetSide�s official theme tune will be that of the smash hit 1980s game �Super Mario bros� this will play non stop throughout the game. (you can hear the tune Here)

2) After hearing that people considered the Vanu as Purple tree hugging wimps, the Dev team have decided to make the Vanu �Large, Angry and Green� as much as possible ( LAG for short) see pic - L.A.G

3) The Graphics engine formally known as �Planetside� has been changed to a simple Symbol to relieve any controversy that it has simply copied the format of a well known gardening program �Plant-Side�. The symbol takes the form of this special PS logo (ignore any other words under the special PS logo, they have been put there by hackers)

4) The Pictures the Vanu super weapon is FAKE!, I know its hard to believe but it is a cleverly doctored photo, Barney� refused to work for SoE after he we told that there was no room for any of his Dino palls in the game formally known as Planetside (see item 3) after he was told this he stormed out of the SoE building delivering only 4 hugs to random SoE employees!. Unfortunately after leaving the SoE building barney was savagely attacked by the New conglomerate Super weapon known as �Project Go?zilla� Here is an artists interpretation of what happened

5) Mentioned before the New Conglomerate Super weapon �Project Go?zilla� has the unique ability to upload files to enemy computers 4X faster than any other super weapon. These files can do a number of things depending on chosen load out of �Go?zilla�


-Anti Norton Go?zilla: This unit has the power to upload, install and run aprogram onto an enemy computer causing its version of Norton Utilities to use up system resources until the inevitable crash/restart of the system happens.

-Anti Hotmail Go?zilla: uses hotmail profiles to trace the Email address of all mechs/tanks/aircraft in the area and signs the user up for every Porno sight on its VAST database. After a few seconds the enemy computer systems will become highly aroused and stop functioning correctly

-Anti WinAmp Go?zilla: Detects any version of WinAmp in the battle field then plays subliminal messages under the track. These range in type and effectiveness eg:
�You have an itchy nose�
�is it me, or is something burning�
�You have 5days left to register Go?zilla�
�Oh man, this armour really chafes doesn�t it�
�You feel the uncontrollable need to pee�

�Project Go?zilla� In action See what happens to software companies that dare to compete with SoE!!

6) The rumoured �Secret Beta cardboard box� is REAL. This box has been said to contain alien artefacts used in the �Rebirth Technology� My contancts have even TOUCHED the box as it was put out for the trash collection. They say it contains may untold wonders. Words cannot describe what magical Beta items they held. Here are some Covert photos taken from a military satellite in Geo stationery orbit above SoE HQ. the Military have been interested in the game formally known as Planetside for some time now and are keen to get as hold of any Beta disks that leave the building.

Pic 1
pic 2
pic 3

Is are only some of the content of the �secret Beta cardboard box� who knows what other alien wonders it may hold�


That�s all the Beta info I have for now. I�ll post more when I talk to my �Contacts� again

I posted this on the offcial forums a while back, some of the jokes might go over your head if you never spent much time there but I think they travel well

[ABRAXAAS]

good fun