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2011-10-23, 07:21 PM | [Ignore Me] #16 | ||
Sergeant Major
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You know, this is all stuff that should have been included IN the story, albeit in a shortened form, or possibly all that was told could have been broken up into multiple posts. It shouldn't have to be explained after the fact, unless there is a plan to explain it in a later installment.
The story written reads more like a timeline in paragraph form, and in hindsight I think that is its real problem. We get the "this happened when" bits but not the how and a brief explanation on why. |
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2011-10-24, 09:30 PM | [Ignore Me] #17 | ||
Sergeant Major
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So you're harping on me for not basically writing a book explaining how everything happened, but you're not harping on SOE as to why the earth plummeted into resource wars in the 2400's when the technology should have existed to prevent this?
Sounds a little biased. Or perhaps you absolutely hate 1984 for not explaining why the nations of the world formed three great superstates and proceeded along the same path of complete governmental control over life and what people perceive as the laws of the universe itself. Last edited by MasterChief096; 2011-10-24 at 09:35 PM. |
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2011-10-24, 10:49 PM | [Ignore Me] #18 | ||
Sergeant Major
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I tried, but if you'd rather stick to your guns than take criticism and write better, that's your problem.
Distant future and fantasy settings can get away with rather impossible things. Settings we could experience within our lifetimes require a bit more real-world reasoning to be truly believable. Last edited by EASyEightyEight; 2011-10-24 at 10:51 PM. |
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2011-10-25, 01:49 AM | [Ignore Me] #19 | |||
Sergeant Major
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I like it. I like it's direction and motive. Could use better adjectives in some parts, though anyone spending time for creative works is a winner to meThe above criticism was well noted and is backed by something in regards to how it is actually written. The problem with your criticism is that it has no backing. I would dare to say that 99% of fictitious literature, film, and video games that take place either in the present day or in the very near future are absolutely impossible scenarios. Homefront, World in Conflict (although this one is a bit better on realism I guess), Frontlines: Fuel of War, to name some video games that are completely preposterous in terms of their "endgame" scenarios. Movies/shows? Children of Men (Gee I wonder why the lack of fertility causes nuclear fallout to sweep across Africa? Civil war in every nation on earth and the UK manages to avert it?), Red Dawn, and Jericho are all pretty impossible scenarios. Did you inform the producers of these works that there was not enough explanation present to make them "believable"? Secondly I don't believe I ever anywhere said this will be the only piece of writing about this particular scenario, so perhaps if you would have asked if there would be more that would add to it later instead of just bashing it you'd have gotten a better answer later. Once again I re-iterate the fact that this thread has already over-explained the first part writing by forcing me to fill the holes that you people created, rather than just letting the reader come to some conclusion in his/her imagination which I would rather prefer. If you can't fill the holes in the above piece on your own, something is wrong I and highly doubt you can enjoy any entertainment out there regarding present day or near-present day scenarios. |
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2011-10-27, 12:55 AM | [Ignore Me] #22 | ||
Colonel
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In the beginning of the New World Order, when the Americans had bowed down, crowning the Chinese as the master race (though Chinese is not a race, but a nation) we benevolently forgave them their debts, and they became enslaved to us...
etc. I wonder what the avatar faces will look like. Can I look like Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, or Triple-H?
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